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Just a bit of sharing

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MePogo:
We spent yesterday in the big city, Hermosillo, sixty miles from our village.  My husband had yet another round of CT scans and x-rays.  Here, unlike the US, we have rapid results...we pay equivalent of $4 for the visit and simply wait for the doctors to evaluate.  He has metastasis to the bone from bladder cancer and has been getting progressively worse since his hip shattered last year.  Radiation appeared to help for two months but now the cancer is growing so rapidly and spread from the hip to ribs.  His hip is as fragile as egg shell and at any point, will shatter.  He was an alive, vital active person last year and now uses a walker to make a daily trip to the bathroom; otherwise not leaving a recliner.  He is in pain constantly.  The hip has no normal bone left and the hip is a huge deformity pressing on nerves that set his whole leg on fire.  There is no hope here according to the doctors.  We have morphine and a great deal of other meds for pain relief but he hates the medication which he feels is robbing him of any life.  Just lay in the chair 24/7.  He can't lay in bed any more because the rib now leaves him unable to breath laying down.  I cannot leave the house any more, even go into my yard.  I'm too afraid to leave him alone, so I only sleep when I'm sure he is sleeping and sleep on the sofa to be close. 

Wayne wants to "let it go" and doesn't want to fight this any more.  But I'm strong enough to fight for both of us.  I've been in touch with Ray and family and tried the alternative treatments that I could but with no results so far.  I think we need more aggressive help but he isn't transportable because he can't sit up or lay down without extreme pain.  I keep thinking that I will wake up and find out this is just all a bad dream.  I cry a lot and pray a lot but not even sure what to pray for anymore. 

The up-side of this all is that we talk, when the pain is too bad we talk through it.  He has grown in faith and hope with the words of Ray.  He doesn't "KNOW" the way I do but hopes that this is true, that there is no hell, that God does love him.  So, why is he putting me through this is always the unanswerable question.  He feels this hell is the here and now as bone is not a vital organ and this may go on 2 days, 2 weeks, months or years.  After 40 years, I don't want to lose him and don't know where he begins and I end but I can't stand to watch the suffering.

If anyone has any suggestions as to scripture, words or hope to give him on faith, hell, church (Babylon), that could be comforting to him, I would be grateful for the help.  The nights we "talk through the pain" until meds kick in, it is the topic that helps.  He's afraid of death and I've read to him and talked hard and fast to ease his fear but so many here are wiser and know so much more than I do so any suggestions would be great.  I want him to love God and not be afraid of Him.  He is a good man but feels his life has been full of sin.... well, haven't we all fallen short? 

Wayne is about the same age as Ray and both were in the construction trade.  He had bladder cancer 6 years ago next December and now this.  There are a great many parallels and I talk to him often of Ray and read to him from Ray's words.  It's made him wonder why Ray has suffered such a similar illness when he was so into studying the Word of God.  He said "Ray didn't deserve this but maybe I did".  I don't think anyone deserves it.  So many "whys?"  If anyone can help me with words to say.... I'm running out of them lately. 

Thanks, and love to all,
Pogo

lauriellen:
dear pogo,
i just can not tell you how sorry i am for what you are going through. i can relate so much with your feelings, questions and just not knowing what else
to do.....but i can tell you one thing for sure, God has guided you to this website, just as He did me...i truely feel that you will find all of your answers
in Gods scriptures....just keep drawing close to God and lean on Him for your
strength, comfort and wisdom....you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
love,
lauriellen

walt123:
Hello pogo

Just something to think about.

Laughter's Effects on the Body
In the last few decades, researchers have studied laughter's effects on the body and turned up some potentially interesting information on how it affects us:

Blood flow. Researchers at the University of Maryland studied the effects on blood vessels when people were shown either comedies or dramas. After the screening, the blood vessels of the group who watched the comedy behaved normally -- expanding and contracting easily. But the blood vessels in people who watched the drama tended to tense up, restricting blood flow.


Immune response. Increased stress is associated with decreased immune system response, says Provine. Some studies have shown that the ability to use humor may raise the level of infection-fighting antibodies in the body and boost the levels of immune cells, as well.


Blood sugar levels. One study of 19 people with diabetes looked at the effects of laughter on blood sugar levels. After eating, the group attended a tedious lecture. On the next day, the group ate the same meal and then watched a comedy. After the comedy, the group had lower blood sugar levels than they did after the lecture.


Relaxation and sleep. The focus on the benefits of laughter really began with Norman Cousin's memoir, Anatomy of an Illness. Cousins, who was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, a painful spine condition, found that a diet of comedies, like Marx Brothers films and episodes of Candid Camera, helped him feel better. He said that ten minutes of laughter allowed him two hours of pain-free sleep.

Pro 16:24  Pleasan words are as an honeycomb,  sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

I just wanted to add something helpful
Walt

Marlene:
Hello Pogo, I know, that we are here for a taste of good and evil. But, since coming here I know, that all will be well with everyone . God loves all not just a select few. I hope God comforts your husband and shows him his great love for him. I will keep you in my prayers.

I am going through a hard time myself with a niece who is 35 battling cancer that was in the colon and is in the pancreas and liver. Everything, over here seems like it takes them forever. MRI's Cat Scans and things.

Things, may look impossible, but with God they are not.  I know, that whatever God wills is right. But, of course we always see it the other way.

I think, Walt has good advice. We need to laugh.

In His Love,
Marlene

firefly77:
MePogo,
There isn't anything I can say to make it easier for the two of you; I can feel your emotional pain and stress, however. The only thing I can do is pray for God to comfort, strengthen and love both of you in a very real and tangible way.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Angie

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