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Author Topic: Help  (Read 5830 times)

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« on: June 17, 2006, 08:03:57 PM »

Good day Ray.
    I'm a male student in SA and I need your help!!!! During high school years I struggled with chronic depression, due to the fact that girls were never interested in me, and family issues.
    I hated society and was angry at God, It felt like God was punishing for no reason at all. I scourned humanity and the church, but luckily I managed not to lose my religion. I am still a very depressed young man, and struggle with anxiety attacks. I feel I'm banished to a life of unhappiness and grief. In a normal persons perspective a issue like relationships won't be a big deal, but to me it's a major issue.
    Females are never interested in me, and I've been hurt many times. I met a girl the other day who actually seemed interested in me, it was amazing! For the first time I felt appreciated and loved. She told me that she just came out of a hectic relationship and can't face another break up, so the oppurtunity of having a relationship is impossible.
    She proposed we be 'lovers', this means visiting her, sleeping with her, giving her affection. Because that is what she wants, and I enjoy it because she compliments me on my physical attributes as well as mentality. She shows me affection and I feel there is definitely a connection more than friendship can offer. I've prayed many, many times to God for me to be granted a companion, to make me happy and give me exactly what she offers me.
    But I want a relationship, and she only wants to be ' lovers '. This hurts me extremely, because I feel as is my prayers have been answered, but I'm being punished for something. I need this girl to have a normal happy life. I don't know what will happen to my religion if things don't work out.
    Will God really send this companion to punish me? I've begged God to let things work out between us, do you think it will? She's also afraid of commitment because she's finishing her studies in two years time, but so am I, will God's intervention privail?
    Please answer my questions, you are my only resource, all other have failed me, any advice will be much appreciated. I know this subject must be quite irrelevant to you, but I've gone through hard times, and ALL of my friends are getting married and look so happy, and I'm left stranded with hate, grief, anguish and unanswered questions.
    I really need this girl to live a prosperous life. I don't know if I'm capable of leading a christian life if things don't happen, let alone living at all. The thought of living in grief all my life is just too much, I'm depressed being recovery as it is, I can't handle being abandoned again!!!
    Yours Sincerely W, PLEASE REPLY.
    Dear W:
    When one feels that they can only live or be happy or successful if they possess a certain person, he is not in a position for a serious relationship.  And from the sounds of your friend's character, she too is woefully lacking the that department.  You need to learn to cope with life on your own.  By that I mean, you must be able to live and earn a living by yourself. Certainly one needs friends and a social life. But, if one is a loving and giving person, he will have a social life. If you have love and happiness to share with tothers, they WILL invite you out and to their house and to their parties.  People love positive, giving people--learn to be one yourself.  Trust me (or don't trust me if you wish), you will not and cannot be happy with anyone unless your are happy with YOURSELF.
    God be with you,
    Read all the material on our site. There is much there to help you grow up and be a man.
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