Expectations

[Roy Martin]

 God has taught me a very good lesson this week by opening my eyes to see myself, to see the plank in my eye as I was looking at the plank in others eyes.
I'll explain this by first saying that many times I have thought I was going to leave the forum due to one word that stirred negative thoughts and emotions. The word is Expectations.
Has anyone ever considered this word, and of how it affects us in a bad way?
It's the word that causes us to see only the surface of people, but subsequently is a reflection of our own carnal mind, the plank in our own eye.
 What is it that causes offense? Is it the person that offended you, or was it your expectation of what or how you wanted something to be? Did you expect them to be always polite according to your expectation? Did they say something seemingly bad about your post? Did you not get as many replies as you expected? Was your post deleted or corrected. Did you feel like you were attacked from every direction? I could list many negative questions and thoughts that some of us get from being here. Everyone knows for themselves what they are, and what negative emotions they stir in us.
I am going to speak for myself that any and all negative thoughts I have ever had about anyone or anything on this forum, and throughout my entire life wasn't caused by anything but  expectations that I have placed on people and myself; yes self as in, I expected that I was right about something.
 Expectations are what cause's offense, and disappointment. It's what causes people to be led astray, or leave the forum, or to never post again. An expectation causes fear and animosity. It can, and will keep one from seeing, and loving people as God does. It causes us to see only the surface of a person rather than a person that God is doing a work in. It causes us to see the plank in their eye rather than seeing our own.
I'm almost willing to bet that most of the people that leave here did it based on expectations. Of course we all know that all is of God, and there is a reason for everything. Its negative expectations that I have placed on people here that God has used to make me look in the mirror, and omg what a big plank I had in my eye.
 Hardened hearts, bitter hearts, annoyance, frustration, disappointment, anger, malice, envy, and strife. I'm sure that all of us can add to this list that seems endless of which all comes from expectations.
These are all negative expectations and the consequences. There is however a positive side of expectation. Example: I can expect people to have issues that God is working out in them. I can expect people to be infallible. I can expect them to be weak. I can't expect them to be like me, or think like me, or act like me. I can't expect anyone to always be kind and patient. I can't expect them to be at my level of understanding. I can't expect myself to be at their level of understanding or Spiritual wisdom. As anyone can see that it goes on and on, and it's in every one of us. I have seen it with my own eyes. I have seen both sides of expectations, and it was the negative side that opened my eyes to see myself in the mirror. It was God that made me look at myself. Now I can have compassion and understanding of the negative side of expectations.
Negative expectations that we place on people and ourselves is the core of carnality.
This is my testimony of the week. I have been extremely blessed to have my eyes opened to this just two days ago. I hope that others will consider the expectations they have placed on others and themselves. Its definitely something that will make one look at themselves. Hopefully you will be saying to yourself, Omg!!
Nothing can offend me except for my own negative expectations. This post can be deleted and I would not be offended because there would be a reason for it. A few days ago it would have offended me, but today is a new day with opened eyes, and God gets the glory.
God has a reason for negative and positive expectations to run parallel with each other, but when we use them together then you can definitely expect conflict with the Spirit just like touching  negative and positive battery post together.  
In my case, God literally made me apply them together to open my eyes. It was a shock but a good and humble shock.
In Christ
Roy
 
 

[Deborah-Leigh]

Did you not get as many replies as you expected?

A Thread may get only one soul who God has prepared to be blessed or edified and that one person could be a guest or a lurker.  God cares and speaks to them too so for that reason, the topic may get little or no responses at all. I don't hope that anyone should be offended or even disappointed based on the number of replies they get to a post or a thread that is entered into the Forum.

What is it that causes offense? Is it the person that offended you, or was it your expectation of what or how you wanted something to be?

We are a community of believers here so I believe that courtesy should be the spirit of our exchanges with one another at all times in all circumstances.

Expectations are what cause's offense, and disappointment.

Yes, as you say, there exist expectations that can  be the cause of disappointment . Wrong or false expectations like those we have when unexpectedly we are ignored or mis-treated. Yet, I still expect, anticipate and joyfully  look forward to my husband saying and doing some of those special things that only he can. These are good expectations that I safely, gratefully  and happily have towards my husband. Then there have to be those Great Expectations reserved only for God in Whom we hope, anticipate and can be assured of through our belief and Faith.

What a wonderful topic Roy.  I think there is so much more to be observed and shared.

Thank you!

Arc

[Roy Martin]

Oh yeah, Arc. I'm all too aware of those husband and wife expectations.
I've been in trouble a few times because I didn't live up to some of them, and vise verse, but these are expectations that seem to be good for us but to an extend. There is a balance when it comes to honey expectations. I think!

I've seen people get disappointed and offended for just about everything one can imagine.We hope they wouldn't,I hope I won't, but they, and we do because of expectations.

My ex-wife started with expectations that led to doubt and suspicion that led to adultery on her part not mine, and then divorce. Her expectations exceeded my ability.

As you can see, expectations get really deep. I've only just started tapping into it at the depths I'm with it right now.God has shown me enough to overcome a big old hurdle, but its not over yet.

Negative Expectations=
Positive Expectations=

Roy

[lauriellen]

dear roy & arc,
as always, great food for thought.....and so true. 

[Ray-Ray]

Hi Roy, very good post, needed that, been there done that ,now I got to buy the tee-shirt ,lol peace ya,ll  Ray-Ray

[mr.moreno75]

HEY ROY, THATS SOME GOOD EYE-OPENER  BLESSINGS WITH ALL SPIRITUAL BLESSINGS ,HECTOR

[Samson]

Hi Roy,

         I really appreciated your Thread regarding Our expectations of others. Certainly, I'm guilty of that too. For me, having expectations of others just causes unnecessary aggravation and sometimes anger too. Apparently, it's of no benefit for me. This includes people outside of the Forum, the members of the Forum seem to mostly be sincere and good people, learning Ray's material at their pace and what is meant for them. I read this Thread of yours to my Wife, sorry that I don't respond more often to your Threads, if that's the case. It's difficult for me to focus on too many things at once, part of my Genetics and there's so many good Threads and material to be found at this Site. Example: Arcturus has a good Thread that I want to address from Testimonies, when I get a chance.

                             Thanks Again, Samson.

[Roy Martin]

Hi Sampson, its all good. Its not me that gets upset because of the number of replies.Just listed some of the possible things that a lot of people don't think about or see. I see a lot of things, and consider them.

Peace
Roy

[dogcombat]

I can relate Roy.  Some threads I started didn't get the replies I thought they should.  But all things are on God's time schedule.  NOT one millisecond sooner, NOT one nanosecond later. 


Ches

[DougE6]

Roy,

If more people understood and took to heart what you wrote above about expectations, there would be a whole lot less fighting and bickering and dissatifaction in the world. Good post.

Doug

[Roy Martin]

 I think it right for me to say that I have been tested to this Expectation post in the past few days that showed me I'm still weak in this matter.
Just want to make it clear that my post isn't implying that I'm no where near perfect.
Just when I get too comfortable, God in His most unique ways says, "Oh yeah, take another look at yourself".
Peace
Roy

[HoneyLamb56]

    Roy, sure helps me see things in a different perspective. 

[LiberatedEagle]

Hey Roy,

I was guilty of having expectations as well. Roy, you were referring to me. I was the one that look at how many people corresponded to my posts and I would ask myself "why don't they like me?" However, I brought that thought into the obedience of Christ. I knew that was not the spirit of Christ and if I allowed myself to get caught in that trap I would miss out on so many treasures of wisdom throughout the body. God is continuing to humble me. Great thread Roy.


Charles

[Roy Martin]

Hey Charles, LOL!. I bet I can speak for most here that we all like you.
Those funny expectations can definitely trick us up to stir the wildest imaginations.

Peace
Roy

[Craig]

Charles,

As you've found out, it is not the number of replies, it is the quality of replies.  If God is giving an answer or speaking through the forum, would He need to do it by having 100 people respond?  Or would he look down upon a few saints and inspire them with a Godly answer?

Craig

[Roy Martin]

Craig, that's what I call words of wisdom.

Roy

[Ninny]

Craig, you have spoken a truth!! Even one reply inspired by God is golden!
Thank you!
Kathy

[LiberatedEagle]

Hey Craig,

I totally agree. All it takes is one word from God and I actually experience that with our brother Dave in Tenn. You know our SIS, Arc, has pointed out to us the parellels of spiritual birth and natural birth. I can see the how those desires for attention are remniscent of the same desire natural babies have. I'm must admit, I'm still drinking milk, but I'm growing day by day.


Charles

[Akira329]

Man Roy,
This thread hit me like a ton of bricks!!!
When I place expectations on people, all I seem to find is disappointment and anger.
I'm angry now! Because I expect my girlfriend to be something she is not and probably never will be.
I expect my brother to come back to the family and stop shunning his father.
I expect my father to get these truths one day.
I expect my nephew to grow up and act like an adult.
I expect my mother to understand these truths.
I expect myself to be better
but............in all these things I find nothing but disappointment and anger.

Roy, I know I can only trust, lean and expect on Jesus.
He won't let me down and never has.
It is so hard to have this expectation and live your life with people who don't do anything but let you down including yourself.
not much else to say.

Antaiwan

[Deborah-Leigh]

  Don't lets be forgetting our sense of humor    be prepared to expect the unexpected!

Look at Ray's sense of humor! 66 replies and 2273 views!

Way to go Marky Mark!  Go baby go!

Arc