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I need encouragement because I am angry...............

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daywalker:

Hello,

Based on what you've been through, and what you're currently going through, I'd have to say your faith is much stronger than perhaps even you realize...


Keep in mind, though, as you look around this wicked world that you could've still been part of it... It's only "by the grace of God" who has given you "ears to hear" and "eyes to see" that you have "come out of her [the Church of Babylon]".

But with that calling out comes a high price tag... We are called to suffer persecution & tribulation; not to enjoy a peaceful life... not here, not now... A peaceful, pain-free earthly life won't prepare us for the "coming eon" when we "judge the world and angels" and, along with Christ "save the world" and teach them all righteousness [Isaiah 26:9]


Daywalker  8)


PS: I was raised by a single mother. I saw how hard that was for her to do... she worked her butt off... Don't be fooled, you're a soldier!!! :D ;) ;D

dogcombat:
Jonesva67,

To take Kat's reply a step further, this segment from Ray's "Praying by God's Rules"  about Gethsame

THE GREATEST DRAMA OF THE AGES

If you like drama, then Matt. 26:36 is the place to find it. Few pay close attention to what is really going on in these few verses of Scripture. The humanity of Jesus is brought into direct conflict with the will of His God and Father. First I will jump ahead of our story slightly so that you understand the setting of this greatest of all prayers in the history of the universe. After praying for one hour Jesus returns a short way back to His Apostles and says:

    "Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matt. 26:41).

Was the "flesh" of Jesus any stronger than that of His apostles? No, it was the same flesh. Paul tells us that, "…there is ONE kind of flesh of men…" (I Cor. 15:39). Jesus was given this same "one kind" of flesh (John 1:14 & Rom. 1:3). And so the flesh of Jesus was just as "weak" as that of His Apostles. Jesus instructed His apostles to stay awake and pray with Him for one hour. None of them could do it. None of us could have done it. They just ate a meal and they were now sleepy (not only physically sleepy, but especially spiritually sleepy). Now back to the beginning of this great drama:

    "Then comes Jesus with them unto a place called Gethsemane, and says unto the disciples, Sit you here, while I go and pray yonder [over there]. And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee [James and John] and began to be SORROWFUL, AND VERY HEAVY. Then said He unto them, My soul [His fleshly, conscious humanity, not His spirit] is EXCEEDING SORROWFUL, EVEN UNTO DEATH [spirit doesn’t die, it is our flesh that must die]. Tarry [stay] you here, and watch with Me.

    And He went a little farther, and fell on His face, and prayed saying, O MY FATHER, IF IT BE POSSIBLE, LET THIS CUP [this cup of death—being beaten beyond recognition, being made sin offering, and crucified for the sins of humanity] pass from Me: NEVERTHELESS, NOT AS I WILL, BUT AS THOU WILL" (Matt. 26:36-39).

    "And there appeared an angel unto Him from heaven, strengthening Him. And being in an agony He prayed more earnestly: and His sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground" (Luke 22:43-44).

I doubt that any of us can ever fully appreciate what unfathomable human trauma and agony was taking place for those three hours in the garden that night two thousand years ago. The eternal destiny of the entire human race was at stake, and Jesus KNEW IT! And believe me, Jesus’ Father was agonizing right along with His Son:

    "In all their afflictions, He [GOD] was afflicted… in His love and in His pity He redeemed them…" (Isa. 63:9).

    "Though He were a Son, yet learned He obedience by the things which He SUFFERED" (Heb. 5:8).


So yes, our trials make us angry, disillusioned etc.  But God uses them to set us free from being shackled to anything we depend on that does not start with Him FIRST.

May God enlighten you

Ches

P.S. I underlined the part about Jesus sweat, because it was describing how profuse His sweating was.  Not that He was bleeding sweat.

Deborah-Leigh:
Welcome to the Forum and your first post joneseva67 :)

What a desperate cry you make! Like the shrill scream of a new born baby!  :)

Everything you describe is familiar to us here. EVERYTHING. The pain, the fear, the loss, heartache, agony, despair and trauma of earlier experiences of rejection, abandonment and disdain all taking their toll on your aching mind and heart.

We can say, DO this or DO that or DON’t do this and DON’t do that but we know that NOTHING you can do  is what YOU NEED>
 
I have seen this demon of fear you are fighting. It is a demon called no money!

What if I sent you a million Dollars. Would you feel better? Would you? Would all your fears, despairs and agonies disappear? You'd feel better?

What you don’t need now is money!  :o  That is the last thing you need.


Isa 52:3  For thus saith the LORD, Ye have sold yourselves for nought; and ye shall be redeemed without money.

You/we, need the Fruit of His Spirit that is Love. You/we need LOVE. You/we need JOY and Peace. You/we need kindness which those who have responded to you have offered to you in their empathy for your experiences in this Thread. You/we need us to be Gentle with you. We know to be gentle and kind and we know we all need Patience, Endurance and Faith. These things of the Spirit of Christ are those virtues that are keeping us for His Kingdom and conforming us to His Image through the Goodness of God to repentance which means change, turning around and singing a new song.

May your new song happen soon for you dear  joneseva67 We hear you. We see you and we can feel your pain. We know...you are angry, you are angry and that too will pass. :) We know.

God love you

Arc

octoberose:
Please remember that God loves the people at the church where you are secretary, and perhaps your being there to speak the truth and act in love is what you should be doing for as long as God gives you that job to do. You don't have to confront them- you should bring up this verse (Jesus is the Savior of the whole world) or that verse ( We're forgiven as we forgive) and marvel aloud at the wonder of God. Love them, even when they don't love you back. That is what we're called to do.
 And then, those cares of the world that come up and suffocate us need some attention. Maybe there is someone in your life who can help with things like insurance that threaten to undo you. We are called to be good stewards and God will give you wisdom on how to deal with those things. And perhaps we should pray for the financial support of your children. But don't do anything in bitterness, but give God the glory and He will give you peace.
 We were not given this site to end up haughty or judgmental. We were looking for something and God granted us answers. He opened up our minds to Truths that few people have. If you are going through a trial by fire you are in good company! We can't hold on to love and fear at the same time, so hold on to love.
 I will pray for you - for a peace and a wisdom that only comes from God.

G. Driggs:
I feel your pain and despair, but at the same time I smile knowing this means God loves you, He is training you and making you His child. What you are going through now will pay off big time later, and its only for a little while. Praying for your strength and endurance.

Deu 8:5  And you have known with your heart, that, as a man chastens his son, so Jehovah your God chastens you.

Pro 3:11  My son, do not despise the chastening of Jehovah; nor be weary with His correction;
Pro 3:12  for whom Jehovah loves He corrects, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.

Heb 12:5  And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons, "My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when you are rebuked by Him;
Heb 12:6  for whom the Lord loves He chastens, and He scourges every son whom He receives."
Heb 12:7  If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons, for what son is he whom the father does not chasten?
Heb 12:8  But if you are without chastisement, of which all are partakers, then you are ******** and not sons.

I think with all you are going through now, coupled with the knowledge the Lord has given you through bible truths, you are being made into His image, and it will be painful at times, just hang in there dear sister and keep your eyes on Jesus. 

Peace, G.Driggs

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