Blessings to you Annie
If I may just share with you a few encouragements.
We have to help our husbands not teach, lead, council or train our husbands. I have personally found that it works far better to grieve in private with Jesus and lay on Him the concerns, tribulations and any trials or heart dissatisfaction, that if expressed, only opens wounds of inferiority and disappointments, sorrow and sadness.
God teaches us so much through our husbands. I recognise that God both blesses and trains me through my husband. Life is not easy for either husbands or wife's. It is not meant to be. God is working out our differences, deficiencies and corruptions. If we try to correct, criticise or oppose our husbands, we bring hardship upon ourselves. If we thank God for our husbands and petition Him to give our husbands deeper understanding and appreciation for HIM, then we do well. It is wonderful to have a husband. So many are alone, emotionally remote, distant, cold, cynical and faithless.
Our differences are in the Plan of God, causing us too, as God's Daughters to be trained in the purging Fire of God as we learn submission, trust and dependence on God for our needs and blessings. I have personally seen amazing blessings when I thank God for my husband and ask Him to bless him.
In one of Rays teachings, Ray mentions that women want power. Well, you know the Scriptures do place the three sins right at Eve's door step, so to speak. It was she who erred and was deceived, and Adam, for his love of his wife, he subsequently disobeyed God too. That is not good. We are not Eve, we are children of God so we have the opportunity to excel through the Spirit of Christ into the Works of God that obey, submit and Trust Him for everything and then His Peace and Joy can reign in our homes. If you treat your husband like the king that he is, no matter how deaf or blind the fellow is, then certainly the royal sceptre of God, that is the Power of God, can give you the blessing of being received as the Queen of your husbands home, in God through you. Now that's real power.
Learning to be humble and patient, trusting and obedient to God, is only accomplished through God's Spirit both for you and I and everyone. There is much rest in that understanding. So much so, that you don't need power anymore. Peace is sufficent not in complacent depression but in joyful understanding.