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Let's Ask Longhorn
longhorn:
First of all, thank you for you're patience. Yes, I missed my 3:00 pm deadline, but like Gabriel and Michael in their attempt to deliver the words of understanding to Daniel, I myself was withstood by evil forces which required fierce warfare. As mentioned in my " Announcement " post, I have done little more than waist valuable band-with space on the BT forum. For that I do apologize. But no more. I take you back to last Saturday July 31st. While driving my 6yr old nephew home from an outing to the city park, conversation including 1 million questions about upcoming Shark Week on the Discovery channel, and why T-Rex is stronger than Godzilla, and another 45 thousand questions about life in general, and the final Question as I dropped him off at his Mom's that turned out to be the EUREKA moment of the 21st century. Jake ask me, Uncle Longhorn, Why does my belly-button stink? Well of course I had to tell him the truth. I said Jake, the belly-button is nothing but a BO-BO hole on a persons stomach and you're not supposed to stick your finger in there and dig. As he started to leave he say's to me Uncle Longhorn, you know just about everything don't you.
This chance Q&A session on the way home from a beautiful day at the park made me realize just how selfish I have been all these years withholding information that could possibly help millions, even hundred's. Hence, the formation of the " Let's Ask Longhorn " helpline.
This helpline is not to be used for the simple common obvious everyday questions that even a 2nd grader would know, for instance. Longhorn, can you tell me the atomic number of Gallium?, or Longhorn, what's the proper proceedure for replacing the Carbon-Carbon heat shields on the space shuttle? No Sir. This helpline is intended and reserved only for those next to impossible to answer questions like, Longhorn, suppose I'm in a crowded crocery store and need to relieve a pocket of gas build-up, which isle would you suggest, the frozen food section, or the bakery isle? Yes, these are the types of questions Americans need answers to. Yes fellow BT members, Longhorn is at you're service
Cypress:
;D awesome! I had to laugh at your response to the belly button question!
So Longhorn, how many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
Why am I not a morning person?
Rainbow!! What does this mean?!?
Ninny:
Longhorn? Now I have a question for you....WHY have you waited until NOW to reveal to us the true nature of your intelligence? I mean PLEASE!! You are amazing to say the least! I don't know how we have lived this long without your wisdom, knowledge, and insight! Spend a little more time with your nephew and you'll get plenty MORE practice answering earth shaking questions! I just don't think I could come up with a gross question for you, but I'd be willing to bet that Musicman and Judy could really challenge you!! hehehehehe! :o
Kathy ;) :-*
Astrapho:
What should I do to a muffin infested with ants? I really want to eat it, but I don't think I'll like the taste of ants. :(
Samson:
Hey Longhorn,
How do I cure my Wife of Her Facebook(Farmville, Petville, Mafia Wars, ZooWorld, Fantasy World, La La World, Frontierville) addiction ? I told Her She's going to end up like THE TWILIGHT ZONE, I'm going to find Her and Her Mother inside the Monitor of the computer in Facebooks parallel world with no escape; ;D ;).
Thanks, Samson.
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