dear eileen,
i just wanted to say that i know there are no words that any of us here can say that will take away your pain and anger. I just want you to know that there are many here who understand your pain, anger & bitterness at the unfairness and sufferring that we must at times endure in this life. God has brought you to the place you are, for reasons known only to Him, and only God can heal your pain and replace your bitterness and anger with peace & joy. I am beginning to let go of my anger & pain, getting alittle peace, but still have miles to travel before i get to the joy part....please remember that we are all on the same journey, just taking different roads trying to get to the same place, which i believe is ABSOLUTE TOTAL dependance on God to be our All in All....as Ray states so beautifully in so many of his writings, ALL of this physical stuff is going to PASS AWAY, it has NO LASTING VALUE, and we must learn to let it go, if that is what God requires of us. I am learning to let go of the physical and it is a very painful experience. i have lost much. i know i will loose ALL to gain Christ. i only pray that He will give me (and all of us here) the strength to let it go, even to death, if & when the time comes. i am praying for you and all of us here, as i don't believe any of us are going to have an easy row to hoe from here on out.
blessings to you,
lauriellen