Hi Hopeful,
My prayers go out in your behalf ! No need to apologize, there's immeasurable stress(physical, emotional & spiritual) approaching from many directions. We don't need to look or seek for it, it will find us. God knows what We need in order to prune us. It often seems that God is doing a strange work, strange to us, but He has the whole thing figured out in advance. I can appreciate feeling gloomy, battling depression at different times throughout my life. Insufficient Sunlight(SAD) is usually the cause in my case. I appreciate the arrival of Spring with longer days and a higher intensity of Sunlight.
I know it's difficult, but try to look at Mankind as a product of CAUSES(Environmental & Genetic) that leads to the CHOICES they make. God is the Author of every choice they make and will make, whether directly or indirectly(others in the plan that directly cause these choices; Satan, Peers, etc.). When you look at them in this manner, it's easier, at least on some level to tolerate the things they say & do, realizing the origin of why they are the way they are. Also, We can look at ourselves inwardly(Judging ourselves) concluding that We have flaws that others see in us and that can help us have a balanced perspective. Comparing the list(s) the Fruitage of God's Spirit in comparison with the Works of the Flesh(Galatians chapter 5) can assist in this endeavor, always praying to God that He gives us the DESIRE to make changes and pray for the process of Him doing a work in Us during the present Age(Our Lifetime).
Kind Regards, Samson.