Hi JohnMichael,
Here is an email reply from Ray I found to be very encouraging, on top of the encouragement you've already received.
http://www.bible-truths.com/email11.htm#stopIn one of your e-mails you said that God expects us sin, which means he's not disappointed or angry with us?
The question here is: Everytime I sin, I ask forgiveness and repent. I feel that it's not working (repenting, asking forgiveness, etc). Am I doing something wrong?
[Ray Replies]
Dear Jeff:
Unfortunately, there is not a magic bullet that will instantly clean us of all sin and bad habits. Even the physical analogies of this spiritual washing, purging, and cleaning of our carnality, indicate that time is required. It takes time to wash clothing, it takes time to purify gold and silver in a furnace, etc.
The penalty of sin issue can be settled in your heart and mind the instant you come to realize that Jesus PAID IN FULL the penalty for your sins and all the sin of the world. However, paying the penalty for sin does not instantly PURGE AND WASH US CLEAN OF SIN. The penalty is paid, but the condition lingers.
The more you SEE your sins and shortcomings, the more you will DESIRE to rid yourself of these things. We are crucified WITH CHRIST, yet we live, but the life we live is one of OVERCOMING THE SINS FOR WHICH WE AND CHRIST DIED FOR.
We have been HAND-PICKED by God to be in His kingdom. Now we must go through the training course that He has set before us. Jesus said that He overcame THE WORLD. We too are to overcome THE WORLD. It's a HUGE task, that requires the power of SPIRIT to accomplish.
Don't become discouraged in well-doing. You will triumph in Christ if you have His spirit working in you. God will even give you the DESIRE to want to do right and be right.
This life is a life of SPIRITUAL WARFARE. There will be many battles before the final victory. So we must endure and we must overcome. For those whom God has chosen, this will be accomplished!
God be with you,
Ray--------------------
Be patient and wait for God. It's not easy, getting saved will be the hardest thing you will ever do. You can do it through Christ.
I think I know how you feel, and it's good to feel what you are feeling. Hopefully what you are feeling about your sins will make you want to change.
Stop condemning yourself, it's never too late to make a change, contrary to what the Babylonian Church would have us believe.
1Jn 2:1 My little children, I write these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.
1Jn 2:2 And He is the propitiation concerning our sins, and not concerning ours only, but also concerning the sins of all the world.
1Jn 3:18 My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.
1Jn 3:19 And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him.
1Jn 3:20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.
1Jn 3:21 Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.
Im not saying you would, but don't let this give you a license to sin.
Jesus understands your weakness, because He has been tempted in every way like us. (Heb 4:15-Mat 4:1) Because He understands, He is totally able to help you. We all slip now and then, but I honestly dont think Jesus would hold that against us. Nobody is perfect, but that is no excuse not to try. Keep trying, and fail as you may, get back up and try again. As Ray has said, keep walking with Jesus until you stop sinning.
It takes His power to make us stand when faced with the ugly beast in all of us. If Jesus is working in you He will not let you down, He will finish the work He has started in you. We still must fight, but with Jesus leading the charge we cant lose.
Deu 20:3 And shall say unto them, Hear, O Israel, ye approach this day unto battle against your enemies: let not your hearts faint, fear not, and do not tremble, neither be ye terrified because of them;
Deu 20:4 For the LORD your God is he that goeth with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.
2Co 4:14 Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.
2Co 4:15 For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.
2Co 4:16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.
Sincerely hope this helps.
G.Driggs