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Change of Heart

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JohnMichael:
Hi Brothers & Sisters,

My thoughts have been changing of late - in a good way, I think. I was once so caught up on being a "Chosen," but in reality, I don't know if I am one. I might be, but only He knows. The desire of my heart has been changing from one of being in the few to one of being a good, faithful, and pleasing servant to Him. Is that wrong? The parable of the prodigal son has really been hitting home of late. I'm not, in any way, worthy to be a son, but maybe, just maybe, I can be a servant. If I'm not in the first resurrection, then I know He will be just and righteous in whatever judgment I need to go through in the second. My sole desire is to be with Him - nay, to be one with Him. He already decided which one I'll be in, and I'm starting to really come to terms with that.

Claudia said something in Christopher's post that really hit home. It's seems like such a simple statement, but it is so vast in meaning. "He NEVER leaves us, EVER." I know I can't please Him on my own, and I will only be able to do that through His working in/through me. On my own, I would be anything but pleasing. My righteousness is filthy rags - an extension of my own selfish, sinful carnality. I'm so easily beset by pride and lust - even when I try to do good on my own, evil is present.

God has been showing me just how weak I am. I thought I knew, but I'm learning with each passing day, that what I thought I knew wasn't even scratching the surface. I need Him - not just want, but need. This weight of sorrow over what I've done is unbearable at times. When I start thinking about all the times I broke His commandments, all the people I've hurt, etc, I feel so abominable.

He must increase, and I must decrease. Period. My own life and soul aren't mine. They are His, and they always have been. I'm learning that nothing I have belongs to me - internal or external. They are all gifts from Him; and the Lord giveth, and He taketh away.

Is it wrong of me to desire to be a pleasing servant?

In His Love,
John

crazy4bam:
John,
 
  It is not wrong to desire to be a pleasing servant. This IMAO we all desire to be closer to him one way or another. Some believe they are the chosen but are they? You, me and everyone on the forum want almost the same has you. You just have the heart to question your desire. Has for myself I question everything I have done or will be doing, but he is the only one to answer.
  Most people forget when they pray for to our Heavenly Father for guidance or assistance he does it all on his time, not ours. Like in the prodigal son the father waited and waited for his son to return. The other son just kept working hard at pleasing his father and was jealous when his brother came home. Their father hugged his lost and wayward son and threw a feast in his name. Think about this Jesus is the father in that story. He is waiting and waiting for us. Their are people out there trying everything to please him and he still stands there with open arms waiting. When we do get to him his warm arms hugs and makes feel like we are home. When that happens its like a big feast in our hearts and minds to want more of the truth. We have some of the truth and everyday we get a little more. So, desire to be his servant, and he will show you more of his love everyday one way or another.

    This may not answer your question but I wanted to let you know what my thoughts were and that they come from the carnal heart of woman! So, on that I am going to grab my female emotions and go do some crying like you men do in secret!  Ha! Ha! ;D


                                                                         Pam

jopie:
Hi John.
I like your pondering.
I thought to myself, if only I can be aware of His presence all the time, then I don't have to wonder what He is up to or what He wants to do in my life.
I have my very existence (have being or reality) in Him.
I can't  get away from God. "Where shall I go from Thy presence".
 
Nice response Pam.

Blessings to you.
John.

arion:
I'm with you on that one John.  I don't know if I am to be one of his elect or just a doorkeeper in his temple.  It doesn't matter.  He is God and He fashions vessels for honor and dishonor.  It's all up to him and He does as he pleases.  One thing that I do know is that He loves us, his creation passionately and His will be done. 

Kat:

Hi John,

You know I think that is the right attitude to desire to service, other than seeking the position as Chosen/Elect. You would also be in good company as a servant of Jesus Christ.

2Peter 1:1  Simon Peter, a servant and an apostle of Jesus Christ, to those who have obtained like precious faith with us through the righteousness of our God and our Savior Jesus Christ,

Rom 1:1  Paul, a servant of Jesus Christ, a called apostle, separated to the gospel of God

Jude 1:1  Jude, a servant of Jesus Christ, and brother of James, to the ones called in God the Father, having been set apart, and having been kept by Jesus Christ:

James 1:1  James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes in the Dispersion, greeting:

Php 1:1  Paul and Timothy, the servants of Jesus Christ, to all the saints in Christ Jesus who are at Philippi, with the overseers and deacons.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

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