> Testimonies / Prayer Requests / Fellowship

Change of Heart

<< < (2/3) > >>

Joel:
Some times the experiences God gives us in life have a way of bringing us down from pride and arrogance, to a more liveable, peacefull, humility.

Psalms 84:10
For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.

Joel

acomplishedartis:


I find it incredible, how can it be possible for forum mmebers living so far away, with so many different backgrounds, some have not even met in person once, and that where raised in different towns, cities or countries,  to be able to think so alike, It brakes so many geographycal statistics... In all these thread I have read things that I agree  with them all, and it feels like these are things that I would write myself!

I am sure theses is a good sign regarding these online forum community space that we can still share.

JohnMichael:
The best way to describe what I've been coming face to face with is within this scenario:

You truly and genuinely desire to give someone a gift. You start examining what you have, both internal and external, and you are struck in the face by the overwhelming realization that nothing, absolutely nothing, you have is a worthy gift. Everything you have is refuse and filth.

That is one of the most humbling and helpless feelings in the world. Being force-fed humble pie, or figuratively speaking, when God gets the belt... Wow! That has to be one of the most painful, if not THE most painful, things in the world. When God holds up a mirror to you, and shows you what sickening, disgusting traits you have, and not just your traits, but who and what you are... you are left so naked, and you are rendered absolutely speechless to say anything in your defense. You can't even choke out, "I'm sorry," because it sounds so hollow... all you can do is uncontrollably sob.

In His Love,
John

cjwood:

--- Quote from: JohnMichael on July 16, 2011, 01:13:52 AM ---
... When God holds up a mirror to you, and shows you what sickening, disgusting traits you have, and not just your traits, but who and what you are... you are left so naked, and you are rendered absolutely speechless to say anything in your defense...



--- End quote ---




john, i bolded the above part of your post because i felt the very same things a few days ago.  but, instead of sobbing (this time anyway  ;) ) i found myself dropping my head in my hands and covering my eyes, trying to hide.  i KNOW i can NEVER hide from my Father Creator, but i guess in the covering of my eyes i was trying to hide from the shame.  kinda like turning away from His mirror; away from the disgusting face of the beast that lives within...

but, dear little brother in Christ, we will be okay.  we will ALL be okay.  

the changes you are witnessing in the desire of your heart, wanting only to be with and one with Him, no matter which resurrection He has willed for you to be in, is honest and honorable.  Jesus Christ Himself was our best example of what a servant's humble heart looks like.  

stand strong in that awesome faith He has given you.

claudia

newborn:

--- Quote from: JohnMichael on July 14, 2011, 02:17:59 PM ---Hi Brothers & Sisters,

My thoughts have been changing of late - in a good way, I think. I was once so caught up on being a "Chosen," but in reality, I don't know if I am one. I might be, but only He knows. The desire of my heart has been changing from one of being in the few to one of being a good, faithful, and pleasing servant to Him. Is that wrong? The parable of the prodigal son has really been hitting home of late. I'm not, in any way, worthy to be a son, but maybe, just maybe, I can be a servant. If I'm not in the first resurrection, then I know He will be just and righteous in whatever judgment I need to go through in the second. My sole desire is to be with Him - nay, to be one with Him. He already decided which one I'll be in, and I'm starting to really come to terms with that.

Claudia said something in Christopher's post that really hit home. It's seems like such a simple statement, but it is so vast in meaning. "He NEVER leaves us, EVER." I know I can't please Him on my own, and I will only be able to do that through His working in/through me. On my own, I would be anything but pleasing. My righteousness is filthy rags - an extension of my own selfish, sinful carnality. I'm so easily beset by pride and lust - even when I try to do good on my own, evil is present.

God has been showing me just how weak I am. I thought I knew, but I'm learning with each passing day, that what I thought I knew wasn't even scratching the surface. I need Him - not just want, but need. This weight of sorrow over what I've done is unbearable at times. When I start thinking about all the times I broke His commandments, all the people I've hurt, etc, I feel so abominable.

He must increase, and I must decrease. Period. My own life and soul aren't mine. They are His, and they always have been. I'm learning that nothing I have belongs to me - internal or external. They are all gifts from Him; and the Lord giveth, and He taketh away.

Is it wrong of me to desire to be a pleasing servant?

In His Love,
John

--- End quote ---

Your words are unselfish... I admire your humility my brother.
Very few I knew, I can count with my fingers, who speaks the
way you do... very few indeed.

I am glad I have met people like you in this forum.

Stay humble my brother

Peace

--RemO

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page