A Really Bummer Day

[G. Driggs]

It was getting overcrowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. Starting at 12:00 the next day, in order to get into Heaven you had to have a really bummer day on the day you died. 12:01 the next day, a man came to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked him how the day was going when he died.
"I came home to my 25th floor apartment for lunch. My wife was in bed naked and some guy's clothes were spread all over the place. I searched the entire apartment, but couldn't find her lover. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out the window and saw a man hanging off the balcony by his fingertips! So I ran out there and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But he landed in some bushes that broke his fall, so he didn't die. This ticked me off even more. I went back inside to find something to throw at him, but the only thing I could find was the refrigerator. I was in such a rage that I grabbed it and threw it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The strain of lifting the refrigerator was so great that I had a heart attack and died."
St. Peter thought for a moment. "Technically, you did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. Sir, welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven!"
A few seconds later Vernon Jordan arrived. "Mr. Jordan, before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died."
Jordan said, "No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure, so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side. Luckily, I was able to catch myself by my fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes out of his apartment and stomps on my fingers. Some bushes at the bottom broke my fall. I was unable to move and in excruciating pain. Then the guy threw a refrigerator off the balcony, which killed me instantly."
St. Peter is quietly laughing to himself as Jordan finishes his story.
"Sir, you definitely had a bummer day," Peter announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven."
A few seconds later, St. Peter is shocked to see Bill Clinton coming up to the gate. "Mr. President, please tell me what happened the day you died."
Clinton says, "Okay, picture this. I'm naked inside a refrigerator..."

[cjwood]

hahahahahahahahahaha...

thanks g.

claudia