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A complex dilemma;''she really does look like a helper fit, helper meet''he said

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acomplishedartis:
Hi Antaiwan
thanks for the contribution

Yes, I know we don't have as much info as he does but as I said this is just a small extract from the whole situation and the reason to post it was for a good opinion/contribution, as yours. You know, I am almost the only one brother that he knows face to face, and I thought that he would be encourage from listening to others good opinions from people here in the forum. I guess, sometimes it's hard to think clear when so many emotions are involved and I think that it's better to hear a good advance in here (among brothers) than to go somewhere else with people that doesn't have 'solid foundations'.

Of course, at the end the choice is of ''him''-influenced by a good number of causes and many of this causes are out of his control.
At the end we are all clay on God's hands, He is the best potter and soon or later trough much tribulations; masterpieces will we become.

------------------------


--- Quote from: Akira329 on April 22, 2012, 03:09:06 AM ---The hard part is telling his ex about her.
She won't go away unless he tells her the truth or he ignores her.

He should be honest with his ex and possible talk to her about why the relationship failed and why he wants to move on.
This is tough either way.

--- End quote ---

The thing is that if he tells his ex about her, she will think that he has remplaced her, when that is not true (since while the relationship was getting over and after it supposedly finished, then he started to met the new girl). Also it would be not fair for the the ex to believe that she has been remplaced, so that is why he should not tell about the new girl until time pass by.

On the other hand what you said might be true as well. ''She won't go away unless he tells her the truth or he ignores her''. He have already tell her the truth but she still have hope to fix things. Now days on the 'communication age' it's very hard to avoid someone, specially if that someone use the past to try to fix present complicated situations.

ez2u:
have your friend look at these women and ask himself will i want to grow old with this person  will i still want to be with this person when i am 40 or 60?  is this  someone i can spend the rest of my life with?

acomplishedartis:

--- Quote from: John from Kentucky on April 23, 2012, 12:00:53 AM ---Moises,

Women are the same everywhere.  You can't live with them, you can't kill them.

--- End quote ---

ha,
Jonh, you always with funny comments. 
But be careful, you don't want to start a 'men vs woman fight' on this tread...  ;)

acomplishedartis:

--- Quote from: ez2u on April 23, 2012, 01:11:21 AM ---have your friend look at these women and ask himself will i want to grow old with this person  will i still want to be with this person when i am 40 or 60?  is this  someone i can spend the rest of my life with?

--- End quote ---

Those are some good questions...

thanks

Dave in Tenn:
I'm going with Akira on this.  Agreeing that we don't know his situation better than he does, but also agreeing that break-ups happen for a reason.  Though he can be manly without machismo, he is the one in the position to have a choice.  If he sees the first as immature, that in and of itself is a reason not to go quickly forward with her.  Though he might be succesful in 'raising' her, if her attachments are to her friends and peers, he will be on an unequal footing from the beginning.

The one he marries he may not yet have even met, for all we know.  But if his mind is on finding a true partner, then the choice between these two seems clear.  SEEMS clear, that is.  God only knows.

You know you are asking us to go where even Ray will not go!   :D  Matters of the heart are the trickiest of all, and Scripture has little to say about 'dating' explicitly.  Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church is not EXACTLY the same thing as 'be fond of and attracted to your girlfriend."   :D  All other things being equal, it wouldn't be wrong to advise him to start a marriage where God commands he continue it.

Hoping I haven't been a fool at the gate.     

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