Hi Brett,
But I just don't know why I would be so blessed, and then on top of this (after a few years of this revelation) I start to doubt the entire system...it's as if my mind is saying "just because it rings of truth and is soooooo much better than the old way, it doesn't mean it isn't all made up.
Rom 8:7 because the carnal mind is enmity against God, for it is not subject to the Law of God, neither indeed can it be.
God's Spirit lead you to see these wonderful truths... but we are still in this weak carnal flesh and the beast will not just go away. As long as we are flesh-carnal we will have a struggle on our hands against the beast within, because we know that it is "enmity against God." So when you (through the Spirit) saw that the church was full of lies and left it, well then the beast began to focus on this new found belief. And what is the best way to attack this truth for someone who is "very knowledgeable with science"? Well by questioning the very source of knowledge Itself, the existence of God, as we know that can not be scientifically proved.
I think we all must wonder how we could be one of the most blessed people ever to have received this knowledge of the truth. Well it is clearly not by our own efforts or desire and we in no way deserve or can earn or qualify for this. No God has chosen His elect "before the foundation of the world," it is their destiny.
Eph 1:3-6 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies in Christ; according as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, in which He has made us accepted in the One having been loved.
And then Paul explains quite well how anybody comes to be among the chosen elect in 1 Corinthians 1. By his explanation I realize that nothing and I do mean nothing about my life makes ME worthy to be chosen and that is exactly why I could be.
1Co 1:25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
v. 26 For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.
v. 27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong;
v. 28 God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are,
v. 29 so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.
v. 30 And because of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption,
mercy, peace and love
Kat