Ramblings

[Craig]

Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.

God made man before woman so the man would have time to think of an answer for the woman's first question.

How to handle an angry wife....
The wife was screaming at me: "Leave! Get out of this house!" she ordered.
As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
So I turned around and replied "So now you want me to stay?"

I was in Florida and saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read
'I miss Detroit'.
So I broke the window, stole the radio and left a note that read 'I hope this helps'.

With age come skills called Multi-Tasking:
I can Laugh, Cough, Sneeze and Pee all at the same time!

I said to my friend, "Please pass me a newspaper."
"Don't be silly," he replied, "you can borrow my iPad."
That fly never knew what hit him......

The sweetest words that a man can hear vary greatly with his lot in life.
When dating: "Whatever you want."
When courting: "I love you."
When married: "I give up!"

[onelovedread]

Craig,
You're brave. Seems to me you're skating on veeerrry thin ice.
These are funny as 'hell' though.

[Gina]

I was in Florida and saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read
'I miss Detroit'.
So I broke the window, stole the radio and left a note that read 'I hope this helps'.

HA! 

Detroit-must be in Orange County California. 

Back in the day I had two car radios stolen.  After that, my entire car. 

A nice police officer called me exactly a year later and said, Gina, I have good news -- we found your car in Mexico." Really?  Wow, officer.  "Yeah, they stripped it completely bare; the only thing they didn't do was burn it."

Thank God I had full coverage on that dumb car.