> General Discussions
A question for the older men here
lilitalienboi16:
--- Quote from: mharrell08 on September 19, 2012, 07:26:49 PM ---You won't stop until you're truly ashamed of doing it. You say that you are, but you won't change until the guilt heavily outweighs the pleasure you receive from doing it. We don't stop any one particular sin until Jesus brings about a change of heart where our desire to please God is greater than fulfilling our flesh. Hang in there...focus on what you will be in time more so than where you are now, that's how God looks at us.
Hope this helps,
Marques
--- End quote ---
Hello marques,
I wanted to thank you for this post, it really hit home to me. What got me was seeing myself as who I will be. Who the man that God is turning me into and not let my carnal mind or even the enemy discourage me.
I also found it really helps at the end of the day, even if the Lord safeguards my heart and mind from giving into the pulls of the flesh on that specific day to confess my other sins. To realize that even though this sin is so gross to me, I commit many others daily. Mostly in my mind through thoughts I think that may not be Christ like. I found it really soothing to my soul to confess and admit that even if I didn't physically masturbate I had still betrayed myself through my thoughts of lusting after that pretty girl earlier in the day.
Its one thing to KNOW that looking at another girl with lust in your heart might was well be fornication and its another thing to REALIZE it.
I think I've taken a huge step forward in seeing Christ take his rightful place upon the throne in this temple of God's even if my steps may seem like baby steps. I feel like I'm moving forward again.
I might very well struggle with this all my life, though I would have it not be so, I am not God and I am indeed a beast, powerless to obey the commands of my Lord but I have hope and a new perspective in not getting stuck in the beast I am now but rather seeing the Son of God I want to be, seeing myself as the Father can see me. Wholly His.
There is a lot of other things I want to say, speciially on some of these personal testomies other than my own but I'm typing this from my phone so I'm going to cut my reply short here. I will get back again when I get some more time to you all.
Again thank you everyone, and thank you to those who shared your very personal struggles. You are in my prayers.
With love in Christ,
Alex
musicman:
Ok seriously. We eat when we are hungry. If we don't eat one day the next we will need the food even more. As we age, we find that we don't need to eat as much. Is it really all about pleasure or is our survival the main part of the equation? Isn't prostate cancer more likely when we do not clean ourselves out physically? How long is a person going to go before they can no longer avoid this act? Of course it depends on age and whether the person is sexually active. . . . with his wife, hopefully. Young men are not able to overcome this unless they have a genetic condition preventing this need. Period!! So, we have a certain amount of control over our thoughts, (with God's guidence). But this need is going to have to be fullfilled. Somehow. But it cannot be met without lust. Can't be done. Is there such thing as purified lust? I really don't know.
yello62:
Alex,
I am not sure that anything I say will provide comfort but, like many men, I too have struggled with that problem since I was quite young. Before I even hit puberty I was looking at pictures of semi-clad women and fantasizing about their bodies. When poppa placed me in the body of Christ at the age of 24, I received temporary freedom from the problem but it did not last all that long. I can remember when I gave in the first time after not having done so for months, I was so overwhelmed with guilt, I nearly could not sit through a full church service. I was a mess. I just knew that I was done for and that I had let Christ and The Father down and I would be cast into the lake of fire and erased from the memory of all I know and love. I prayed, I fasted, I begged The Father to rip this foul thing from my life. Many of the things that others have said, I processed through my mind. I asked The Father to take away my desire because it is better that I go without rather then not enter into the kingdom.
We know that sin is never the right thing to do. It is death, plain and simple. We should never get comfortable with the failure that are those things. I will say though that throughout this entire process, The Father has been talking to me about mercy, grace, peace and compassion. He has been talking to me about how the process begun at the foundation of the world will end with freedom from sin and death for all mankind. He has been talking about the fact that when He placed me into the body of Christ and gave me His spirit, He sealed me and gauranteed completion of the work that He began through Christ, and He will not end that process until it is complete. He has spoken righteousness into us. He has spoken righteousness into us. No one that is truly in this relationship with The Father through Jesus Christ will go on sinning forever, He won't let us, but that does not mean we will see victory over every single thing in this flesh. Does that mean that we rejoice in our sins? Paul speaks to that. We rejoice in the knowledge that our relationship with The Father is not based on us, our actions or lack thereof but our freedom, our relationship, the blessings of life are ours because The Creator of all things has said it is so. Christ is the evidence of that.
The Adversary uses our "issues" against us, tries to create doubt and anguish in our heart. For years I have wrestled with that same nonsense but Poppa being Poppa has shown me through a relationship that I have been in things I was not able to grasp before. He loves us, He has forgiven us, He will perfect us, He will raise us from the dead and we will dwell, we do now dwell in eternity. Rejoice in the fact that this is not dependant on you or your efforts.
As they say in the vernacular, Pop's got this, no doubt!
lilitalienboi16:
--- Quote from: Rob M on September 24, 2012, 05:58:26 PM ---So God gave men raging hormones, but if someone beautiful goes walking by us we are only to admire what's she wearing?? It's almost impossible to differentiate between physical attraction and lust.
--- End quote ---
I disagree Rob.
You can admire the beauty of many things in this creation without desiring to stick your "you know what" in them.
Perhaps a more relavent example;
If you have a teenage or young adult daughter or if a man does have a beautiful daughter, does he not recognize her beauty WITHOUT desiring her in bed? I think we can say many a fathers have had beautiful daughters and never desired them in any such manor yet still able to recognize their beauty. Though we all know the circumstances or have heard of them in the news were this infraction was made upon a daughter by her father.
I obviously do not have a daughter of my own so I suppose I can't be 100% certain of how a father would see her adult daughter once she is all grown in her beauty but I am assuming that he sees her through the eyes of love while recognizing her beauty and not through the eyes of lust.
So is it possible? Yes It is, it just takes a spiritual giant (and not one on his own accord) to be able to overcome the lust and pulls of the flesh when it is sinful.
lilitalienboi16:
--- Quote from: musicman on September 27, 2012, 09:15:56 AM ---Ok seriously. We eat when we are hungry. If we don't eat one day the next we will need the food even more. As we age, we find that we don't need to eat as much. Is it really all about pleasure or is our survival the main part of the equation? Isn't prostate cancer more likely when we do not clean ourselves out physically? How long is a person going to go before they can no longer avoid this act? Of course it depends on age and whether the person is sexually active. . . . with his wife, hopefully. Young men are not able to overcome this unless they have a genetic condition preventing this need. Period!! So, we have a certain amount of control over our thoughts, (with God's guidence). But this need is going to have to be fullfilled. Somehow. But it cannot be met without lust. Can't be done. Is there such thing as purified lust? I really don't know.
--- End quote ---
I believe musicman, this is why a man marries. So that he may fulfill his physical needs without disregard of His Father's commandments.
I disagree with young men not being able to overcome this without a genetic condition and I wish I could prove it to you by saying I am one of those men but I cannot and not because I have a genetic condition but rather because I'm still fighting this battle. I can assure you though the desire is very strong in me to want to stop and I have faith in God, with His time, I will overcome this. Perhaps in my 30's so I can still qualify as having been young enough and not having a genetic disorder. :P
I agree that the act of masturbation or sexual intercourse cannot be fulfilled without lust but I don't think any of us would argue this. I believe though that we can stop lusting after another man's wife or lusting in our minds every time we see a beautiful girl or stop masturbating to porn by the grace of God. I believe that this outlet that we all need is meant to be fulfilled by a wife. In this case, sex with your wife to my understanding does not equate to breaking God's spiritual law because she is your wife.. so it's okay to desire her and lust after her otherwise how would you have sex? lol
So what I'm saying is God made a way out for our desires and needs, a way that in His eyes is just and lawful.
Now perhaps there is a man among us who would like to step up and say He has done these acts without lusting? And how did that turn out for you? lol........ i'm sure this would be a hilarious conversation if it ever followed.
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