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A question for the older men here

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lilitalienboi16:
lol musicman I appreciate your sense of humor and for allowing me to laugh along with you.

I don't think there is any substitute for the power of the Spirit in all this. Perhaps that's the take home message of your routine.

To Dave:

I'm not ignoring you but can you be more specific. What would I tell the young boy? As in if he asked me about masturbation? IF he asked me about women? pornography? Lust? All of the above?

Dave in Tenn:
Take your pick, Alex.  It's your thread.  Whatever it is YOU are asking about will be fine.

lilitalienboi16:

--- Quote from: Dave in Tenn on October 02, 2012, 01:42:20 AM ---No.

But I'll ask you a question.  What if you had a son (or were asked by a single mother to talk to her son)...what would you say to him from your own experience?

 

--- End quote ---

Hmm, this is very difficult. What I would tell them, where I'm at now.

I'd tell them that, no matter how hard you try you'll always be overcome by the pulls of the flesh. There is absolutely nothing in you, absolutely zero power in your own self that will give you the ability to over come this.

Rev 13:4-7 "And they worshipped the dragon which gave power unto the beast: and they worshipped the beast, saying, Who is like unto the beast? who is able to make war with him? And there was given unto him a mouth speaking great things and blasphemies; and power was given unto him to continue forty and two months.And he opened his mouth in blasphemy against God, to blaspheme his name, and his tabernacle, and them that dwell in heaven. And it was given unto him to make war with the saints, and to overcome them: and power was given him over all kindreds, and tongues, and nations."

I'd tell this person that despite being made subject to vanity not willingly but by reason of Him, that God is faithful and He will finish His good works that He has begun in you. That in His time, you will be given power over this beast. So don't discourage now, don't give up. Confess your sins to God and He is faithful. He won't abandon you, even when you've perhaps given up on yourself and think He's given up on you.

Most of all I would tell him, don't lose hope. God is for you and with you even if you might see the monster inside of you now clearer than ever before, God saw this beast all along. He knew the beast was there but before you realized it, you saw God's goodness and His grand love for you so why do you now suddenly doubt this love? Did He not love you and call you and move and work in you when the beast was there before you realized it? So then why do you doubt now that He will continue in you? What, because now you're aware of your condition? How much more now will God continue in you, than before, now that he has brought you this far? Much more! He will carry you all the way through because He is faithful and good and His love endures forever. Because He see's you for who you will be in Him, He see's so much more than the carnal flesh that haunts you now.

Have patience, turn to Him and in time you will see His grace abound in you and your cup will over flow.

That's probably what I'd tell him and that there is none good, there is none perfect but God so do not think you are the only one who struggles with this sin or that you are alone in it all. Far from it and your desire for change is but the beginning of wondrous things to come.

It's probably what i'd tell myself, if I could believe myself.

Edit: I think I just told myself, what I needed to hear..... I'm not sure if that was your intention dave but if it was, you are a man of genius.

lilitalienboi16:

--- Quote from: Patric on September 19, 2012, 07:08:20 PM ---Brother......this is a a human condition for sure....and not just for men.....as embarrassing as it is selfish.....it is enjoy the benefits of sex with out even having a partner! and suicide would up there with that level of selfishness imo.....however....my opinions on the subject may or may not have much weight....having struggled with this as I am about to turn 44....for most of my life....I believe i was about 10 or s0 when I began to realize the pleasure and release of sexual tension this would give me.....and I too would do it daily......well as a young man....I find today.....once a week....and a few times a month is average......the body has not the same zest for it but my mind is in overdrive all too often......the sorrow I would feel after doing it and or the thoughts I had while doing this or even the pictures and or videos and items I would use while involved.....made me feel I was never gonna overcome and or enjoyed this poison so much that I would never let go.....in fact married men confide in me that there is no answer to it......but having an outlet sure seemed like a good idea to me! Paul said it would be better to marry then to burn with passion......yet no one gets married burning after all do they? lol well not in my church congregation they did not for sure.....I do not have the answer and make things more of a challenge......Christ tells us not even to look at married woman with lust! this makes me a complete failure....cuz that is the part I fall into much more often then masturbation......and now I ask well Lord....what if the woman is not married? Can I do it then?! you see my mind? lol I want to justify my actions.....and make my lack of self control not sinful....fact is anything done apart from faith is sin. That said.....I know of no man that has over come this lust or sin. I know boasted of his single life....and I knew a man who once said for 20+ years he never masturbated....but lets see....Christ said if you even look at the woman with lust you have committed fornication and or adultry.....the church of course agrees and says further that Christ wants us to but off are right hand and gouge out our eye that is the agent used to promote this sin!!!! wow.....this scared the tar out of me to say the least......I do that Christ has paid for our sins.....the past....the present and future included....and this not only keeps my sanity but empowers me to overcome all sins....or things the church or myself or our God himself would see and know is sin......that gives me peace....even if a I fail......this topic is taboo....and few men....as well as fewer women discuss it with any degree of confidence....and I would say it is the most indulged in activity in human existence! I feel bad often after I do it.....and other times I don't feel bad.....I do wish I had a partner to share my sexuality with but that too is up to the Lord....just remember that all sin has been paid for! Let no one deceive you.....some men and women have stronger faith and or less of a struggle with sin....or types of sin.....your strength and or weaknesses are the way the enemy may accuse.....point the finger....and catch you on the law....promises.....vows....and things like "I will never do it again" we are merely setting ourselves up to fail....as my mother used to tell me......"hang a yet on that never statement" she would say you have not done it yet....but there is not boasting....especially not in the flesh....there is not confidence in the flesh.....and all the glory is the Fathers......I pray you find strength to stay at peace....while the storm and flesh of life decays and fails.....your faith is of greater value than gold.....and what pleases our Father.....if we are going to boast....let it be of our weakness!!! WOW Paul was right.....boast of your weakness so the power of Christ can rest upon you....this is how I overcome and not beat myself up with sin.....and in particular masturbation.....the sin that church says is evil.....we are after all sexual beings......find a mate......and be sexual....that is my answer and my long words in 2 cents LOL
thy will be done....

--- End quote ---

Dear friend,

Your paragraphs are difficult to read with all the [....]

I say this with the grandest of affection, but please try and use the "enter" key in the future. >.> I hope that didn't come off to harsh, it was not my intention! Please don't take it that way!

That being said, thank you for sharing your testimony with me! I know it's very personal and well, I suppose, I would rather people see me for what I am and know that they don't have any false idea's about me than them thinking I'm someone I am not. I guess that's what gives me the ability to be rather bold on such a taboo topic. That and i'm in my 20's so I think most people know what a 20 year old is going through whether he admits or not so I might as well just admit it. xD

I suppose there is some comfort in knowing that as we age, our hormones are as active and so our desires dwindle but I was really hoping not to have to wait another 20-30 years before this lust, this sin, begins to fade in me. If that is how the Lord has it planned than I guess there isn't much I can do or say about it but that doesn't mean the desire for it to be gone will ever fade either.

I believe though that God can in time, if He wants, reign in this beast before I endure many long years and I do believe that this desire to want to stop sinning this way is the first step in the right direction. Some people don't think shame or feeling bad about what we have done is a positive thing or that it is how God want's us to feel when we desire strongly to be done with a sin yet we continue doing it but I think it is. I believe, like ray put it, that you get to a point where thinking about it makes you literally sick to your stomach and makes you want to throw up. I don't think that's a negative at all, that just shows how strong your desire to not want to commit this sin really is but if you keep thinking it's okay and that "God has forgiven me" and ill just keep on sinning along, no biggie, it's not like I can overcome on it so why bother, than you'll never overcome the sin because you're telling yourself its okay and it's not! It's not okay and we shouldn't be teaching ourselves that is! Even if God hasn't given us the power to overcome it!  But again, we can't overcome it so what then, should we throw in the towel? Pff,  you go ahead, ill keep going this way!

Btw, this isn't necessarily directed towards you, I'm just kind of ranting out loud with my thoughts.. Hope you don't mind! :)

Well again, thank you for engaging me in this discussion and sharing your personal story. I do appreciate it. Hopefully we can find solace and comfort and encouragement from one another to continue enduring forward and perhaps one day soon, the Lord will throw out this beast from His temple! ;)

God bless,

Alex

onelovedread:
Can't have it both ways, can we. Either we believe God's Word (taught by Ray) that there is no such thing as free will or uncaused choice, or we deep down believe we have the power to make ourselves pure and holy.

Even God's instruction through Paul to have the mind of Christ continues that we must work out our own salvation with fear and trembling it is God who works in us both to will and to do of His good pleasure.

And it is only God Who will bring us to the point when we hate the sin.

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