If I can just interject a little of my personal experience and wisdom gained, I have found that when I go through these hard times, it is easy to get caught up in the hard times and not see God trying to speak to us through them. We have strongholds in our lives which need breaking and suffering is how God often deals with them to break our carnality down. If I may, when you pray, ask God to reveal to you what he is dealing with and how it got into your life and the wisdom to deal with it, particularly how to pray as with the mouth confession is made to salvation. I have learned some great things about myself including suffering through physical imfirmities and feeling like giving up my faith. When the stronghold is gone, then the fear has no dwelling place anymore. Otherwise, why go through the depression over and over with no gain? Just going around the mountain over and over again, being blinded by the depression. Hope it helps
Well said. I've found that myself with the strongholds, not easy going through the suffering but necessary.
Not making light of your problems rito. I have my own struggles so did Paul:
2 Corinthians 11:23-31
23 Are they servants of Christ? I know I sound like a madman, but I have served him far more! I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. 24 Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. 26 I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not.[a] 27 I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.
28 Then, besides all this, I have the daily burden of my concern for all the churches. 29 Who is weak without my feeling that weakness? Who is led astray, and I do not burn with anger?
30 If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am.
Praying for you rito, it's not easy whatever we go through. Do you want to go through what Paul went through?
May God keep you in his warm and comforting embrace
Rhys