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Unequally yolked
hillsbororiver:
--- Quote from: Michele on September 30, 2006, 09:03:19 AM ---Please forgive my ramblings....... Hi, Michele, I am going to make a few comments through your post, I pray this will be of some help.
I am the Michele that wrote to Ray about being unequally yolked.
I am still reading the articles on Ray's site when I feel I can comprehend what Ray has written. I won't say that I understand or comprehend and sometimes it's hard to believe and understand some of the things, but most things seem to answer the questions in a much more comprhensible way than anything I"ve ever experienced before and I'm truly thankful for that. The rest I'll just dwell on, maybe indefinately.......ha.
This is the best way to study the articles, read and reread, I continually find new insights every time.
I don't want to present myself like I'm "what I"m supposed to be"...I know that's not true and it makes me feel guilty if I think someone thinks this about me. I'm as sinful as anyone could be, willfully sinful. I try to be a good person but being a good person doesn't mean that your sinless, goodness knows and I'm certainly not that, guess none of us are.
"Trying" on our own is a sure way of failing, the secret is to actually let go of our own will and submit ourselves to His will.
Joh 3:30 He must increase, but I must decrease.
We each have our own story..well, maybe somebody out there has had a "dream life", most of us have not. My childhood of sexual abuse and being married to my non-believing spouse for 18 years, my mother dying suddenly two years ago, I don't have a good relationship with my father, and worried for my daughters spiritual well being. (well I used to be but it's getting better!)..it has taken a toll on my spirit which I am trying to recover.
It is incredible how many of us here have all had many of the same experiences, the bumpy, rocky road we have traveled has led us to Him.
I want to say something, after being married to a non-believing spouse for so long, I've really seen where they are coming from. I kind of imagine standing on a line, on one side are atheists (or persons who can't see anything and truly cannot conceive of anything except what their human senses tell them..which is completely natural if God hasn't enlightened you right?.... and therefore only believe in themselves and on the other side are persons of all types of beliefs in "something", this includes some of them believing in "God". I never liked the idea, ever, of God torturing persons forever in fire...for any reason. Who could? I could never reconcile the thought of a "loving God" with that "hellish" image of God. And after marrying a non-believer it was truly intolerable...this is why I kept searching...and out of desperation and heartsick/spiritsick, I found Ray's site and it offered Hope, so of course I'm going to read it all. And still yet I have to fight the fears, the "old christian fears" that I was taught all my life are still haunting me...that's why I came here for help and reassurance. I need "reprogramming". I am starting to truly accept it ast the Truth though because I am much more calm and relaxed than I used to be about it all...before I thought that if my husband didn't "Choose to "Believe" he was doomed, and I was scared he might take our child with him.....I am learning this is WRONG...THANK God!!!
I too can see how many refuse to believe in a god that would create us the way he did and then threaten us with eternal pain and punishment for
succumbing to the very vanity we were born with.
Rom 8:20 For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,
The truth is that our God is the very source of goodness and love, many non believers imagine themselves to be more compassionate than the (they think imaginary or mythical) Lord, but remember the image they have of Him has been fostered by the traditions of the denominations. Some day they will come to this realization.
Job 4:17 Shall mortal man be more just than God? shall a man be more pure than his maker?
(Question1) If a non-believer doesn't "Believe" that means that God has not called them to know Him, RIGHT? Right Therefore we should Not blame/judge them for not believing in God/Jesus because it isn't thier fault or choice??? Exactly Please correct me if I say anything wrong...this is all new to me.
Keep reading the articles, this will be cleared up, the unbelievers have yet to be called.
I was sexually abused as child and it's very very hard for me to trust, I question Everything. I question scripture (whether it's true or manmade or legend/myth) even when I'm trying to learn from it and follow it because it's so hard for me to believe anyone or anything. I question Gods existance, more because I'm married to a non-believer than anything. I guess that's why God says don't marry a non-believer. It does cause traumas in a relationship.............................
Yes, it must be difficult to be married to an unbeliever but as some will tell you here it is also very difficult to be married to someone who believes in "the church" rather than the Lord. It is a test of patience that they cannot see the things we do.
BUT, it truly wouldn't be so intolerable, fearful and unhappy for Believing Partner of the Unequally Yolked couple if the Believer Knew that no matter what, We're all going to Choose God and we're all going to end up in Heaven. Please help me believe this to down to my soul! This is my fervent prayer because with this I can Live with so much less fear and so much more happiness. I went on the internet the other day looking at the terms unequally yolked and there was a woman "christian", who I think was trying to "help" young women/men before they chose to marry a Non-believer like she had http://net-burst.net/ruth/mismatched.htm here is the website (If it's ok to post it so others can read it). I think she is trying to be helpful...but at the same time there is something there that bothers me badly. I haven't personally asked her if she's worried that her spouse is going to end up in "HELL", but I"m sure she's thinking that. If any of you would read this site, I'd appreciate your thoughts on it. I'm sure she has a lot of good points, but at the same time it seems to totally put all of the blame squarely on her shoulders and doesn't speak of any Hope whatsoever, and she obviously doesn't believe that all of her children or husband are going to end up in heaven....
Normally we do not post links to "christian" sites here but this is more of what Ray likes to call "Comedy Hour" the TV preachers with their "hellfire and brimstone, please mail the check to".............. I think these type of folks actually turn people cold toward the very idea of God.
I believe now that God says do not marry a non-believer because it can and usually does cause problems in a marriage because you cannot "share" God with one another.
That's obviously true, I will regret that aspect for all of my life. BUT, the scriptures also state if you are married to a Non-believer that you are to Stay with them if they want to stay married to you. IF the believing spouse KNEW what I am learning now, that he/she is NOT responcible for Saving their Spouse OR anyone else in their family (I am right aren't i?)
Yes, you are right, you (or I) will never "save" anyone, only God can save, and he does it in His time and season.
1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
and that their Spouse and Children are all going to Heaven REGARDLESS....someday No Matter WHAT.... the believer in the famiy could get on with worshiping/learning about God in their own way without worrying themselves to death about everyone else in their family.....
Does anyone have any confirmation on this? I can tell you from living this life personally that when I can make myself believe the GOOD NEWS about this, that it's all going to be, OK, that my life is Much happier.
Here is what God says about the ultimate reality of whatever He wills;
Isa 46:9 Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me,
Isa 46:10 Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure:
Isa 55:11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
What is God's will?
1Ti 2:3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior;
1Ti 2:4 Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.
(Read this article for a deeper understanding;) http://bible-truths.com/lake3.html
I have spiritual highs and super lows. Somedays I feel as if God is right next to me and other days I say "God if you're really there and can hear me" ......and then I ask Him to forgive me for that and I do this a lot... That's what's so funny, I've been mightly low before and I was right next to believing that God isn't real after all, but after thinking that thought I Always ask God to forgive me!
I find life deeply wonderful and deeply confusing and scary too. I am a woman, flesh and blood. I want to be Human and just live and love and be happy without chronic fear, worry and guilt. Sometimes I just want to LIVE and dont' want to Think at all. I have as many carnal and sinful thoughts as anybody....and I think, well your only Human..which after all is what God created me to be. And on the otherhand I feel the fear that was pounded into me from early childhood about the horrible things God's got in store for me if I'm not a "good little girl".
1Pe 4:12 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
So here I am, me, myself and I. I want to be human and carnal, and at the same time I want to be good and spiritual as God wants me to be....and it just doesn't feel possible to do both at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I've been fighting a battle all my life....aren't we all?
Yes, we are.
Rom 5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
1Pe 1:7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
What I am Hoping to find here is a Balance for the rest of my life and to finally learn the Truth.
I want to learn a new way of thinking about the world and about my personal purpose in life.
I want to learn the Truth about God.
I want to learn more about what God wants from me.
And since I"ve been scared to death my whole life, I am especially interested in the Hope and Goodness and Forgiveness that God has in store for me, and all of us no matter how sinful and unworthy we all are.
I guess I want someone to tell me that I'm OK and God loves me no matter what.
That it's ok to be ME.
I could do with some good news.
There are many members here who will edify and share with you, there will be real treasures revealed through the articles on Bible Truths, the members of this Forum and most of all from Him, the One that is opening your eyes, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ!
Thank you all for listening to my ramblings, I have many more. LOL :D
Michele
--- End quote ---
chuckusa:
Hi Michele,
It's nice to see you posting.
You are right, we should not judge the non believer. We must be called. You are also not responsible for trying to "save" them. I believe that the best thing we can do is to pray for them, and to show them a shining example of what Christ has done for us. If you are at a point that you feel you have nothing to "show", then just do the best you can, continue to pray and study. If you have been called, God WILL complete the good work started in you. It takes time.
You are correct Michele. You don't need to worry about your family. God loves them, and he knows what is best for them. In HIS time, and in HIS way, he will direct their lives in order to complete their purpose here on this earth. You do need to just keep going in the direction you are going. Love your family all the more, armed with this knowledge. You may be the shining star of your family, give them the best example of a Christ-like life for them to see. Remember:
Mat 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Luk 8:16 No man, when he hath lighted a candle, covereth it with a vessel, or putteth it under a bed; but setteth it on a candlestick, that they which enter in may see the light.
Michele, you are loved beyond measure. Everything that you have experienced was for a purpose. You are exactly as you are supposed to be, and so is your family, so are we ALL.
As a follower of Christ, you are my family and I love you Michele...God bless you in this difficult walk, but do not fear, put ALL your trust in God and I know that wonderful things will happen in your life.
I hope to talk to you more, Love,
Chuck
Bill:
Hi Michelle,
Welcome to the forum. For me the first thing we must realize is that God is a mighty and sovereign God and that everything happens because of him.
--- Quote from: Michele on September 30, 2006, 09:03:19 AM ---I am still reading the articles on Ray's site when I feel I can comprehend what Ray has written. I won't say that I understand or comprehend and sometimes it's hard to believe and understand some of the things, but most things seem to answer the questions in a much more comprhensible way than anything I"ve ever experienced before and I'm truly thankful for that. The rest I'll just dwell on, maybe indefinately.......ha.
--- End quote ---
Keep reading and with a open bible.
--- Quote from: Michele on September 30, 2006, 09:03:19 AM ---I don't want to present myself like I'm "what I"m supposed to be"...I know that's not true and it makes me feel guilty if I think someone thinks this about me. I'm as sinful as anyone could be, willfully sinful. I try to be a good person but being a good person doesn't mean that your sinless, goodness knows and I'm certainly not that, guess none of us are.
--- End quote ---
We are marred vessels. Being created in his image. Give it time. I whish I could give you the confidence you need but that will need to come from God.
--- Quote from: Michele on September 30, 2006, 09:03:19 AM ---We each have our own story..well, maybe somebody out there has had a "dream life", most of us have not. My childhood of sexual abuse and being married to my non-believing spouse for 18 years, my mother dying suddenly two years ago, I don't have a good relationship with my father, and worried for my daughters spiritual well being. (well I used to be but it's getting better!)..it has taken a toll on my spirit which I am trying to recover.
--- End quote ---
You are right we each have our own story. I guess we can be unequally yoked with our spouses in many ways. You may think that it is stressful for being married to an atheist but many here not only believe differently than there spouses and family but find it difficult to even know any one that believes the same. Gods elect are to be the salt of the earth, we are to be scattered and not clumped all together. That is why many come to the Internet to fellowship.
--- Quote from: Michele on September 30, 2006, 09:03:19 AM ---(Question1) If a non-believer doesn't "Believe" that means that God has not called them to know Him, RIGHT? Therefore we should Not blame/judge them for not believing in God/Jesus because it isn't thier fault or choice??? Please correct me if I say anything wrong...this is all new to me.
--- End quote ---
God has to drag us to him.
--- Quote from: Michele on September 30, 2006, 09:03:19 AM ---I question scripture (whether it's true or manmade or legend/myth) even when I'm trying to learn from it and follow it because it's so hard for me to believe anyone or anything. I question Gods existance, more because I'm married to a non-believer than anything. I guess that's why God says don't marry a non-believer. It does cause traumas in a relationship.............................BUT, it truly wouldn't be so intolerable, fearful and unhappy for Believing Partner of the Unequally Yolked couple if the Believer Knew that no matter what, We're all going to Choose God and we're all going to end up in Heaven. Please help me believe this to down to my soul!
--- End quote ---
God is a sovereign God and is working everything for his pleasure. It is all his plan which is a perfect plan from a perfect God and all will be in all and we will all be able to see it as perfect as it is.
Also Heaven is not some geographical place and you will never see ray teach that we go to Heaven.
Keep searching...
Bill
ned:
Hi Michele,
God bless you for your honesty. Welcome to our forum.
Quote from Michele in purple
What I am Hoping to find here is a Balance for the rest of my life and to finally learn the Truth.
My guess is; if you are hoping and looking, you will find. Pray to God always that He will shown you the truth. It works. God does not lie.
Jam 1:5 (CEV) "If any of you need wisdom, you should ask God, and it will be given to you. God is generous and won't correct you for asking."
Act 17:27 (CEV) "God has done all this, so that we will look for him and reach out and find him. He isn't far from any of us,"
I want to learn a new way of thinking about the world and about my personal purpose in life.
A new way of thinking about the world is not to be a part of it. Yes we live in it, but do not need to be of it.
Col 2:8 (CEV) "Don't let anyone fool you by using senseless arguments. These arguments may sound wise, but they are only human teachings. They come from the powers of this world and not from Christ."
Col 2:20 (CEV) "You died with Christ. Now the forces of the universe don't have any power over you. Why do you live as if you had to obey such rules as,"
1Jo 2:17 (CEV) "The world and the desires it causes are disappearing. But if we obey God, we will live forever. "
1Jo 5:19 (CEV) "We are certain that we come from God and that the rest of the world is under the power of the devil. "
I want to learn the Truth about God.
Ask Him. See James1:5 above. God is so good, He wants us to know Him too. He put that will in us. Praise Him!
I want to learn more about what God wants from me.
Ask Him. And wait for His answer. It will come. Stay in His Word, and Jesus will stay in you. Learn the Word and wear it daily. It is your defense in this world.
And since I"ve been scared to death my whole life, I am especially interested in the Hope and Goodness and Forgiveness that God has in store for me, and all of us no matter how sinful and unworthy we all are.
Phi 2:10 (CEV) "So at the name of Jesus everyone will bow down, those in heaven, on earth, and under the earth."
Psa86:5 (LITV) "For You, O Lord, are good and ready to forgive, and rich in mercy to all who call on You".
We ALL will bow down to Jesus. We will want to give him praise. His spirit will be in ALL.
I guess I want someone to tell me that I'm OK and God loves me no matter what. That it's ok to be ME.
God made you Michele, just the way you are and He loves you no matter what.
Jer 10:23 (CEV) "I know, LORD, that we humans are not in control of our own lives. "
I could do with some good news.
Jesus is the Good News. Like a child, become dependant upon him, he will fill you with Himself.
Mat 18:4 (CEV) "But if you are as humble as this child, you are the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Love to you Michele.
Your sister in Christ,
Marie
orion77:
Hello Michele,
Thank you for sharing your honest needs and desires. Lots of good help from good brothers and sisters to you.
Looks like God is working in you, because you sincerely desire truth and you have the strength to confess your faults.
(Joh 3:20 LITV) For everyone practicing wickedness hates the Light, and does not come to the Light, that his works may not be exposed.
(Joh 3:21 LITV) But the one doing the truth comes to the Light, that his works may be revealed, that they exist, having been worked in God.
Pray to God with the same words in your post, very humbling and upright conversation. God loves the humble:
(Psa 10:17 LITV) O Jehovah, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; Your ear will hear.
(Isa 57:15 LITV) For so says the high and lofty One who inhabits eternity, and His name is Holy: I dwell in the high and holy place, even with the contrite and humble of spirit; to make live the spirit of the humble and to make live the heart of the contrite ones.
Ask God openly and sincerely as your post and He will begin to open things to you, which will give you a great sense of peace.
Good to see you post, keep in touch.
God bless,
Gary
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