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Author Topic: Bi-Polar  (Read 6305 times)

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  • There are two kinds of cops.The quick and the dead
« on: August 01, 2006, 09:51:09 AM »

        I have bipolar disorder.  I am destroying my marriage with rage.  My husband
        smokes more pot than you can even imagine and we are both “saved” and go to
        “church” – imagine that.

        Ray, I grew up in WWCG.  I am more than clear on those doctrinal errors.  So, for about
        20 years, I decided that I really couldn’t care less about what happens to this body
        after I die.   I can’t see that far.

        I just want this pain to stop.  I don’t know how to make my life work.  I don’t know how.

        I don’t know how to control this beast within before I lose my marriage.

        Oh yeah, its hard for me to really call out to God because when I get sick, “he” talks
        to me.  And we know that God doesn’t talk to people like that.  Besides, even if he did
        everything that is said contradicts itself.  In 1997, when I first got sick, before I was
        hospitalized, I was horrified because the 2 weeks of voices made it seem like Satan and God
        were the same person.  It is kinda like what you say about god creating evil, but far more

        And when I increase my time in bible study, or meditating or even praying too much, I start
        to hear the noise in my head again.

        Bipolar is well handled with medication, but I have so many issues from growing up in a cult,
        and the dysfunctional family that brought me there – I look like I have it all together.  The
        doctors call me “high functioning”  When all I want to do is just die.

        I can’t live with this shame.  I feel like such a failure.

        So the beast is within, it’s confirmed.  Now what do I do?  How do I make it through
        this life on the way to the next one?  How do I stop being sick?  How do I stop hurting
        people with my own pain?  And how do I stop the tears?

        I can’t see anything.

        Dear Janice:

        I get lots of emails like yours (or at least similar). I can't save you, Janice. Only God can save you. God brought you to my site for a reason. Have you read everything?

        When one is in your condition, they are perfect candidates for salvation.  There is no use in saving those who have nothing they need saving from, right?  That's why Jesus said He came to save sinners, not the righteous (as thought there are any righteous, but there are those who think that they are righteous).

        You need to cry out to God, Janice. There is no easy fix. There is no easy formula.  There are no magic words.  Salvation is between you and God.  I can encourage you and teach you, but right now you need Jesus, not me. You need to repent of everything that is destroying your life. This will require the Spirit of God.  You can only get the Spirit of God from God, not from me. I tell people to PRAY AND OBEY unto God reveals Himself to you. God does not want to frustrate you, but He wants you to come to Him in complete surrender and humility, and judging from your condition, that should not be to very hard. We will be praying for you.

        God be with you,

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