How do we guide our children in their lives?

[loretta]

Formerly I believed that if my children were saved, they would be in God's perfect will and He would guide them in the direction they would take – perhaps, and I hoped, even the mission field! I was so sold on this salvation agenda of Christendom.  I didn't think I needed to guide them in their careers or their education.  I just concentrated on sharing the Word with them, (guess I overdid it!) confident that at some point they would be led to Christ and then I could rest, whichever way they went, knowing that God had taken control of the wheels of their lives.

My elder daughter is now 15 and has to take some decisions regarding her career and I am totally lost.  I even feel guilty not being able to help her. I don't have worldly aspirations for her like most people I know, I don't measure success/failure the way the world does. But my daughter is unregenerate - she doesn't think like me.  So how does trusting God for our children in this area play out in real life? 

[Rene]

Hi Loretta,

I have a young adult daughter who is college educated. She is now able to support herself and her life style and for that, I am truly grateful.

I have always shared my beliefs with my daughter, and although she has some "head" knowledge of these truths, her "heart" has yet to be enlightened.  As I continue to grow spiritually, I am becoming less anxious about her life choices, because I truly believe our Creator is in total control and my daughter must go through her experience of living in the flesh and this includes the experience of both good and evil.  When I see her in pain, I am in pain too, but I now know there is a purpose for whatever she must go through in this life. 

I always encourage my daughter to "do the right thing" and be a person of integrity.  God has used her on many occasions to be the "mirror" holder in my life.  When I am not being the person I profess to be, she is the first one to point it out and this too, is something I am grateful for!

René     

[Kat]

Hi Loretta,

I too have grown daughters and to me keeping a good relationship is very important, so I have had to deal patiently (longsuffering) with some of their choices. But I will always be there for them and I have certainly shared my opinion with them as much as I can.

I feel that as a mother it is my place to steer them it the right direction if possible, and knowledge of what the Scripture say is of course a key factor in what I say/do, but I research many things to get info that can help me too. I know that God has ordained their path, but He has given that my influence is seriously felt by them, so I am careful what I say. I want to suggest to them what I think is the right thing to do, but I feel they need to make the final decision. It is a balance between between helping, but not being overbearing.

What I guess it amounts to is trying to share from your own experiences in life what can help them. I am supportive of them at all times, happy for their successes and comforting to them when this life throws them for a loop. It is really a joyful thing to have such a close and endearing relationship as there is with a daughter.

Well I off to spend the weekend with my grandbabies... another great joy in life. Hope that was helpful.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

[loretta]

Tks Rene and Kat, that was of great help

My elder daughter was raised on the Word and is a poster child for Christendom Right now she has me on a pedestal and oftentimes she feels frustrated at her inability to walk the talk.  That she will soon be holding up a spiritual mirror to me is what I didn't see coming!

Talking about lifestyles, before BT, I was alarmed that she was headed on the broad way with the kind of lifestyle she was getting accustomed to.  Now, I'll be grateful if she can support it when she is older.   If she cannot, then too it will be ALL of God.

Yes, what I can really work at is at keeping a good relationship with my daughters, so that they can count on me while they go through their life experiences, both good and bad. 

Finally, it is encouraging to know that what I do and don't do, to guide my daughter in her career choices is also of God.  And what she finally does is also of Him.

Thank You!