This was my "introduction" post from the time I joined the forum. It's hardly complete, but I shared my heart as much as I was comfortable and able at the time. Read it if you want.
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,7572.msg60263.html#msg60263What I wanted from the forum, I could encapsulate like this. 1. To fellowship with others having come out of Babylon. 2. To gain some wisdom from others about how to LIVE and LIVE WITH these truths.
Has this happened after all this time? Results are mixed. I could say that to a great measure it has lived up to my hopes for my own involvement...even from posters with whom I don't have any particular history of exchanges with, as well as from others who I have come to treasure in this admittedly limited internet way. I'd name names, but I'd leave some out for sure. Trust me, it matters not how much you post, but how you've posted that has been a frequent blessing to me.
There's another more unexpected benefit from our exchange. I've learned to love people I wouldn't even LIKE in real life, and to be more patient and understanding that my struggles are not everybody struggles, and that people are hurting in ways I can't always see. As Ray said, if we want a blessing, we need to BE a blessing and a help for each other.
That said, there have also been times and episodes when the forum has failed to live up to my hopes for it and to the hopes I believe it had for itself when it was created. I've encountered a few outright charlatans, numerous "hobbyists", amateur theologians, any number of people coming to say "don't follow Ray' when without exception the subtext was "follow me", and one circular argument after another which CANNOT be carnally resolved, even with all the Scripture in the world.
I've endured crassness, and pointlessness, and arguments, and the worship of Idols of the Heart, and "do as I say, not as I do" Pharisees and people trying to bring me back into the bondage from which I had escaped--not just religious bondage, but the bondage of depression and cynicism and depravity, much of which flowed quite naturally from my time in Babylon and as a reaction to it. I've met people who say they love the truth, but wouldn't know a truth if it bit them on the butt.
And I've also endured episodes when I too was guilty of these same things and worse. Even worse, because I was moderator.
Truth be told, I may be fairly diplomatic, but I am not moderate. I've spent many weeks, days and hours agonizing over compete and utter crap. I've felt like leaving more times than I can count.
So how do I take it as a whole? And am I alone in both my desires for involvement in the forum and in the forum itself as it was meant to be?
I'm not sorry I joined, nor am I sorry I've stayed. I am sorry for being a big, fat hypocrite at times. My "sorrow" over becoming a moderator ebbs and flows. I've grown up enough to recognize that most (if not all) of the challenges faced participating here are PRECISELY the challenges faced by the Apostles and the early church. In my isolation, it has been what the early church fellowship was--a battle against carnal-mindedness, and a sorting of the called and the chosen. I don't know which I am, but I understand much better the "rejoicing" to be done when encountering all manner of trials. This I did not expect those years ago, but the Lord is Lord.
So am I alone in this assessment of mixed results and general direction?
I'm not asking for replies. In fact, I COULD use my vast forum super-powers and lock this thread as soon as it's posted.
But I'm not alone, trust me.
We must not become a church. We must not become LIKE a denomination. We must not think of the "forum" as "the elect of God."
We must get the forum back to a place welcoming to "real people". I know that it CAN be, because it often IS. And when it is, it's good.
"We must continue to remember those early days when, after we were enlightened, we endured a long and painful struggle." Let's not have to "endure" it completely alone.