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Author Topic: NEW CHURCH SERVICES  (Read 1266 times)

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Craig

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NEW CHURCH SERVICES
« on: January 17, 2014, 09:05:48 PM »

PASTOR: "Praise the Lord!"

CONGREGATION: "Hallelujah!"

PASTOR: "Will everyone please turn on their tablet,

PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor. 13:13.


And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon."


P-a-u-s-e......


"Now, Let us pray committing this week into God's hands.

Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook, and chat with God"


S-i-l-e-n-c-e


"As we take our Sunday tithes and offerings, please have your credit and debit cards ready."

"You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password 'Lord909887.'

The ushers will circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers:

a. Those who prefer to make electronic fund transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church..

b. Those who prefer to use iPads can open them.

c. Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cell phones to transfer your contributions to the church account.”

The holy atmosphere of the Church becomes truly electrified as ALL the smart phones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!



“Final Blessing and Closing Announcements..

a.. This week's ministry cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place. Please log in and don't miss out.
b. . Thursday's Bible study will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don't miss out.
c. You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers

 

God bless you and have nice day
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moshe

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Re: NEW CHURCH SERVICES
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2014, 04:45:20 AM »

Ha, this remind me the old saying    ''the medium is part of the message''


  So just saying,
''whatever anyone wants to say from a church pulpit on a religious way''
is alreary messing with the  message...

« Last Edit: January 26, 2014, 10:29:08 PM by Moises G. »
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Rhys

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Re: NEW CHURCH SERVICES
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2014, 01:15:30 AM »

haha.........it almost makes me want to go back to church..........NOT!!!   ;D

Rhys
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I’ve noticed that I have changed in many ways since Bible Truths and the forum and one of them is living life much too seriously.

Another one is learning to rest in God and truly trust Him.

I'm still a work in progress.

se7en

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Re: NEW CHURCH SERVICES
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2014, 12:29:25 PM »

Haha wow....

This sounds EXACTLY like the last church I ever attended. They had kiosk machines out in the lobby that you could donate your money via credit card swipe.

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~Se7en
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