Hi Doug, thanks for your response.
There is no sin I’m going through that is uncommon to man, I’m always questioning things in my life, probably what i'm suppose to do.
It’s the way my relationship is with Christ, some days I feel so close to God and other days so far away. Some days I can hardly wait to arrive home from work to study, others days, not in any hurry.
I know God is always there, once during a cloudy night I looked up towards the heavens and notice I could not see one star in the night sky but I know the stares are there, I just can’t see them.
Perhaps the times I feel so close to God is like a sunny day and the times I feel so far away is like a rainy day but never forgetting God.
God created both Good and evil for a reason and made man in vanity, to spiritually weak to adhere to those laws he put forth. I find thus so far that although sin goes against the will of God it certainly does not go against His intentions,
although sin is wrong and wrong only because God says its wrong I see how God uses sin in my life to humble me and also to draw me near. Those who are not sick have no need of a physician.
Everything I go through is ok, that is to say its according to Gods will and or His intentions but I’m not ok and won’t be until the former things have passed away and all things have been made new. God has declared that He will make all things new and I believe God.
I understand that all have fallen short of the glory of God and no one will be ok until God puts and end to all the tools He uses to raised up sons and daughters for Himself and sin is a great tool He uses to accomplish this task..
Do not misunderstand me, God hates sin and we should too but God uses sin/evil to humbles us.
I will keep going through what I am going through until I learn to hate those things I love that are wrong in Gods sight.
Its apart of the process, in the beginning we hate God and love to sin, then we start to love God according to His calling and afterwards we start to doubt our sins as God starts to humble us, then we realize we need to get sin out of our lives only to discover we have no power to do so.
And in the end we come to realize we have a will that is totally subjected to Gods will and as sophisticate and as intelligent as God has made us, we do not turn right or left unless God says so.
And so for this cause I am completely confidant that God will bring me unto salvation in His time in spite of any sin I have, am or will commit, if not in this age, then the age to come, for it is the will of God that all be saved.