Crazy English

[John9362]

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay,
I end it.

[Rhys 🕊]

Think I might learn another language 

Rhys or Recce 

[cjwood]

but not reese, rhys?  and would reese be more than one rhys?
crazy english indeed.   

claudia

[Rhys 🕊]

but not reese, rhys?  and would reese be more than one rhys?
crazy english indeed.   

claudia

If there is more of me would that really be a bad thing  ........

[cjwood]

this ole world could use more reese's rhys' pieces to make everyone smile, as much as you make us smile here on the forum.  you are a lovely addition to the family.  even if we keep you at the bottom of the globe.   

claudia

[Rhys 🕊]

this ole world could use more reese's rhys' pieces to make everyone smile, as much as you make us smile here on the forum.  you are a lovely addition to the family.  even if we keep you at the bottom of the globe.   

claudia

I'm supporting you from the underneath otherwise the world might tip upside down 


Rhys