Regrets, resentment, and holding grudges

[lareli]

So after dwelling on this whole free-will thing, I've started to wonder about regrets and resentment.. If I regret, not repent, but regret or harbor resentment for anything that has happened in my life then aren't I showing contempt for the Gods plan and will for my life?

Where I'm at today is exactly where God wants me, yes? And where I'm at today would be totally different had one tiny experience in my past been different, right?

Understanding the free-will thing has helped me reconcile a lot of heart ache from my past and made it easier to forgive all trespasses against me and also perpetrated by me. It's all His plan so to live with regrets, resentment, or un-forgivness is to say in my heart that God messed up in His plan. Isn't it like saying 'I could've made Gods plan better'?

I think of this movie called Mr. Destiny.. It's about how if this kid would've swung his bat a half second sooner or later in the championship game, how dramatically different his life would've ended up.

I never thought I could have the relationship and understanding of God and His purposes as I do today. It's so valuable to me that I can look back on all the bad times in my life and say Thank You to God for those bad times because had one of those bad times not happened, then who knows if I'd know God the same way I know Him today. I think the bad times, the hard times in my life have shaped me more than the good times, so I especially thank Him for the hard times.. I try to consider this when experiencing the hard times that I know will come tomorrow. If I can appreciate the hard times of the past then I now have to acknowledge the future hard times as equally valuable and try to have more hope and a better attitude in those sufferings knowing that it's all for my good.

[rick]

Hello largeli,


First, what caused you to dwell on the free will thing? Do you see God as the cause? If you have regrets but do not repent is it not Gods intention that you repent not ? 

If you harbor resentment for things in your life, you absolutely are in contempt but aren't  we all? Are we not here for an experience of good and evil for the sole purpose of being made in the image of God ? 

Where your at today is exactly where God wants you to be and would things be totally different for you if one experience in your past had been different ? God's intentions for your life would not allow for such a thing would they? 

Every experience you had are having or will have are directed by God who directs our footsteps, God is completely and fully in control of all His creation, there is no getting around it. 

Everyone's salvation is guaranteed because we do not have free will, we cannot go against God's intentions, we can go against God's will as long as it's God's will we go against His will but if it's not God's will that we go against His will then we cannot go against His will. 

Do you honestly believe you could of made God's plan better than He the creator? 

Just some things to think about if it's God's intention for you to think about.

[Ian 155]

Understanding the free-will thing has helped me reconcile a lot of heart ache from my past and made it easier to forgive all trespasses against me and also perpetrated by me.

This understanding gets even more difficult... just the understanding that I have been used as a "tool" to cause so much hurt and hardship to my wife and kids, family, friends and even strangers...hard pill to swallow it gets stuck going down every now and then.

Sometimes the "well its OK God caused me to make certain choices" does not really wash with those affected.

Perhaps One day I may be used as a good instrument and all those hurt by "my" past actions would forgive me.

I am however getting to a place where I know why certain "bad" things are done to me by the same...to forgive is divine.

[Dave in Tenn]

Nobody ever goes against His purpose, even when we (for a season) go against His will.  He is reconciling ALL to Himself.  Hang in there.

[rick]

Understanding the free-will thing has helped me reconcile a lot of heart ache from my past and made it easier to forgive all trespasses against me and also perpetrated by me.

Sometimes the "well its OK God caused me to make certain choices" does not really wash with those affected.

Hello Ian.


This can get really deep I suppose but I keep thinking about your statement and I disagree with how you phrase or coined it, I know ultimately God is the cause of all things but God does not make us make any choice.

We, that is, every human being makes their own choice without being forced to, its true that no human being can make an uncaused choice but we choose to do what we do because we like to do whatever we do because of who we are and what we are.

I think by saying God cause me to make a choice would be equal to saying God made me commit murder or God made me rape a women or God made me steal.

God creates all the circumstances but its we not God who makes the choice, God does not force us to do anything in that respect , we do it naturally from the nature of our own hearts.

God does not make of force any human being to sin not even Satan can make or force anyone to sin, when we hurt someone its us who are doing the hurting not God however it was Gods intention that we do it but its we not God who does it.

Does that make sense to you? 
 

[cjwood]

amen dave, amen.

claudia

[Ian 155]

Understanding the free-will thing has helped me reconcile a lot of heart ache from my past and made it easier to forgive all trespasses against me and also perpetrated by me.

Sometimes the "well its OK God caused me to make certain choices" does not really wash with those affected.

Hello Ian.


This can get really deep I suppose but I keep thinking about your statement and I disagree with how you phrase or coined it, I know ultimately God is the cause of all things but God does not make us make any choice.

We, that is, every human being makes their own choice without being forced to, its true that no human being can make an uncaused choice but we choose to do what we do because we like to do whatever we do because of who we are and what we are.

I think by saying God cause me to make a choice would be equal to saying God made me commit murder or God made me rape a women or God made me steal.

God creates all the circumstances but its we not God who makes the choice, God does not force us to do anything in that respect , we do it naturally from the nature of our own hearts.

God does not make of force any human being to sin not even Satan can make or force anyone to sin, when we hurt someone its us who are doing the hurting not God however it was Gods intention that we do it but its we not God who does it.

Does that make sense to you? 

Ray seemed to help me understand it a little better with his audio on sin,

Have you ever woken in the morning and said to yourself why did I do that ,say that ?

Some stuff is just unexplainable, likewise why did I not do this or that ...

There is stuff in you/us that you/we dont even know about...

"although we mean it for bad God uses it for good".....

Realisation/Conviction, does however refine one, eventually -

[lareli]

Let me ask you all a question..

Is having regrets or resentments about anything in your past, whether perpetrated by you or perpetrated against you, is it an indictment against God subconsciously?

Seeing as how every single thing in your life was planned to happen in the exact way that it did happen down to the smallest movement of an atom.. It was planned by God to happen that way. So wouldn't the very nature of having a regret or resentment indicate a disdain for Gods plan for your life?

Again I'm not talking about repentance. I'm talking about looking back on your life and wishing certain things would've been different.

[indianabob]

Largeli,

I think your regret stems from a natural human condition and need not be repented of. However the better way to focus our attention is to acknowledge that there were hard lessons that led to our present state and to look forward with true JOY to a time when we will have the God given strength of character to refrain from all acts that lead to regret in the age to come.

So after the lessons are learned and we are given, at our resurrection, the gift of full understanding we will then be at peace and have the joy that ONLY God can provide.

I- Bob

[rick]

Hello Ian.

I'm going to listen to that audio on sin you had mentioned, at this point in my understanding I believe its totally impossible to be sin free, not going to happen in this life, I /we keep repeating our sins over and over.

It matters not how much we hate our sins or how much we wish we just didn't do them. Its obvious to me God has no intentions of setting me /us free from sin during this age, maybe at most we may find we don't sin as much but still the sin nature seems to reign no matter what.

I / we can learn righteousness but putting it into practice is impossible to do, I do put the blame on God in as much as He God made me /us as I /we are.

Everything I/we think, do, and say is a direct result of God's intentions which no human being can resist, flee or even impede. It is God who sets up all the circumstances in my /our lives that cause me/ us to make a choice.

The choice I/we make are the very choices I/we God wanted or knew we would make seeing where God knows the ends from the beginnings.

After all this, the choice I/we make is our own choice........thank God the sin issue has been dealt with by Christ, perhaps the resentment or guilt I/ we feel inwardly stems from a lack of self forgiveness,

God forgives us but do we forgive ourselves? I think its two fold, Christ paid for mine/ our sins but the wages of sin is death, so Christ paid mine/ our penalty right there at the cross but we must still pay also by dying, for that is our penalty that we need to pay.   

[Dave in Tenn]

You're only part right there, Rick.  I'll leave you to figure out which parts.  Not to say this may ALL be true of you right now.  I'm not your judge.     

Bob has hit it on the head here.  I'll only add, that we are called to "leave behind" all these encumbrances.  But I'll admit, we do have to deal with them somehow before we can.

Mat 5:29, 30  `But, if thy right eye doth cause thee to stumble, pluck it out and cast from thee, for it is good to thee that one of thy members may perish, and not thy whole body be cast to gehenna.  And, if thy right hand doth cause thee to stumble, cut it off, and cast from thee, for it is good to thee that one of thy members may perish, and not thy whole body be cast to gehenna.

Get on with it.

[rick]

Hello Dave,

If I didn't know better, I would think your insinuating I don't know it all yet, Lol
So, after reading your reply I went back to re read what I had wrote that you found an issue with one or more statements I made.

The only light I can operate in is the light Christ has given me, so I think maybe the statement I made as far as its obvious to me God has no intentions of setting us free from sin in this age could be what your referring to but you didn't say but left that up to me to figure out which part I'm right about.

That maybe only true for me at this precise moment in my walk with God, that's not to say tomorrow will be the same but from where I'm at I should say its possible but highly improbable that I should find myself sin free in this age, it would be nice although.

Maybe its my statement that I made putting all the blame on God, if that's it , my meaning was only that God is responsible for everything yet we are accountable for our actions and our choices.
 
I'm not sure what you felt was inaccurate with what I had said but hopefully I had nailed it in this reply.

God bless. 

[Dave in Tenn]

Sinner that I am, I am finding that 'salvation DOES come through faith'.  Keep faith, Rick.  If you have it, keep it.

The end result is SURE.  Is there any 'good' that would better be put off until later?  Is there any 'bad' that it's better to stop later than sooner?

I'm not so sure He even wants us to start with the 'biggies'.  If we are not faithful in the little things, how can we be 'trusted' with the big ones? 

I'll give you a parable.      I am a fair-to-middling rhythm acoustic guitar player (at least I was when I played more).  I didn't learn to play guitar by either 1.  Banging it against the wall or 2. NOT playing guitar because I sucked at it. 

Obviously, sometimes it's harder.  Some of us barely know what a guitar IS.     And some have no desire to play.  And some have desire, but well and truly suck.  And some are playing the heck out of an autoharp because somebody TOLD them it was a guitar, or at least as good as a guitar. 

But we don't 'learn guitar' by 'not practicing'.  Do what you know.  Do what you can.  Grow in knowledge and proficiency with the guitar.  Strum till your fingers bleed.  You'll be a guitar player and it may surprise you (and probably will) when you realize you are.  Somebody is still gonna be better than you, but that's OK.  We call them 'guitar heroes'.  They urge us on.

We learn in increments, and make a lot of mistakes along the way.  But we try not to repeat them, at least not to make a habit of them.

And then there is 'lead guitar'.  That's not an entirely different set of skills, but a different type of playing.

Keep your eyes on the prize, Rick.  Don't fret about when it will come, it will come when you're ready for it.     

[Dave in Tenn]

Here's a heap of encouragement for you, Rick.  A lot of people see this post as 'ammunition' in arguments, but the 'salvation of all' INCLUDES THE SALVATION OF RICK!!!!!

Keep these handy for your OWN heart when you find yourself troubled.

http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,11798.msg101959.html#msg101959

[Ian 155]

Let me ask you all a question..

Is having regrets or resentments about anything in your past, whether perpetrated by you or perpetrated against you, is it an indictment against God subconsciously?

Again I'm not talking about repentance. I'm talking about looking back on your life and wishing certain things would've been different.

Arc once said it this way to me "now there is a lesson in sovereignty"

we can howl,moan,cuss all we like -- God does have his way.

[rickylittleton]

There are some thing I regret now that I did when I was a child. All of us have things we did, remember resentments, and I can even remember the fight I had when I was 13 years old, and I lost that fight "BIG TIME", and years after when ever I see that person who whop me real good, that is the first thing I think about. It's call "being human". Be thankful that you have a mind to operate in the way God made it. I am often around people who are not in their right mind because of a chemical imbalance in their brain and they think every thing from the CIA to an alienate invasion is ready to attack them. All are in God's hand and control, and He knows where all of us are. Tim