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[Porter]

If you all wouldn't mind saying a prayer for our oldest daughter (whom we adopted out) Alice that would be awesome. She's in an abusive relationship and I just found out today that she got beaten up real bad last week. She also appears to be in denial about it and is defending the guy who beat her up. He's totally brain washing her and not allowing her to visit family. My wife and I are very concerned for her as are her adoptive parents.

Please also say a prayer to help keep me from hurting him. The hate in me is scary right now. Ive prayed for God to forgive him and also that God would help me forgive him also and that God's good and perfect will be done . I know it's the right thing to do, but Im having a hard time wanting to do the right thing right now. 

Just want to mention he is going to jail on the 4th of January for beating up his former girlfriend. So that is a bit of a relief. I just hope he doesn't hurt her more before then.

If anyone has any advice in this situation please share.

Thank you for listening.

[Extol]

Thanks and coming to us with this request. That's a big reason why we are here.I'll be remembering you and your daughter in prayer.

[Wittenberg]

Definitely will/am praying for the situation.

One thing I do when I have unforgiven ness. I picture the person I have anger towards and I imagine them as they will be when they are glorified in Christ. In your case, picture how the abusive boyfriend will be. He will have a deep love for your daughter and for those that he caused pain to. For where there is much forgiveness there is much love. Your forgiveness will be a source of love in his eternal life. You will also spend eternity with a special bond with another member of Christ body. I pray for you that you can bring that forgiveness to earth as it is in Heaven.

[Dave in Tenn]

If you think you are up to it, consider visiting him in jail.

[lilitalienboi16]

Will pray, friend.

[Porter]

My wife and I thank you all for the prayers and advice. 

Definitely will/am praying for the situation.

One thing I do when I have unforgiven ness. I picture the person I have anger towards and I imagine them as they will be when they are glorified in Christ. In your case, picture how the abusive boyfriend will be. He will have a deep love for your daughter and for those that he caused pain to. For where there is much forgiveness there is much love. Your forgiveness will be a source of love in his eternal life. You will also spend eternity with a special bond with another member of Christ body. I pray for you that you can bring that forgiveness to earth as it is in Heaven.

Great reminder and good advice, thanks Wittenberg.

If you think you are up to it, consider visiting him in jail.

Well I think if I were to visit him in jail I might be tempted to stay a little longer, because reasons. Otherwise thanks for the godly advice. I will consider it.

He's gonna be in there for 2 years from what I hear. And Alice has already expressed she'll be waiting for him.  I hope and pray she changes her mind before then.

[Rhys 🕊]

Prayers for you and daughter.

I often think if confronting people in some harsh way what good would actually come from my action if I did so. Not only would they be worse off but so would I.


Rhys

[Porter]

Prayers for you and daughter.

I often think if confronting people in some harsh way what good would actually come from my action if I did so. Not only would they be worse off but so would I.


Rhys

So very true Rhys. I think it would be very selfish and even hypocritical of me to act harshly toward him. It's so easy to want to do the wrong thing, so hard to want to do the right thing. Thank God He is there to save me from myself.

Also an update. Alice actually was able to visit her family today! What a relief. Everyone cried after seeing her face so badly beaten. My wife took a pic of her to show me and my heart sank.

Again thank you all for the prayers, God heard you.

Porter

[John from Kentucky]

Why does your daughter tolerate being beat up by a boyfriend?

Why don't you take the pictures of your abused daughter to the police and have criminal charges brought against her thug boyfriend?

Has not God shown you a way out of this problem?

If the thug is locked up for a longer time, then you will have more time for your daughter to regain her senses.

[walt123]

Hello,Porter

I agree with JFK,I would do all of what God allows me to do ,even if my daughter will hate me for awhile, because its for her own good.

If doing right is wrong ,I don't want to be right.

My prayers for both of you.

Walt

[Porter]

Why does your daughter tolerate being beat up by a boyfriend?

Why don't you take the pictures of your abused daughter to the police and have criminal charges brought against her thug boyfriend?

Has not God shown you a way out of this problem?

If the thug is locked up for a longer time, then you will have more time for your daughter to regain her senses.

I suppose she tolerates for the same reasons other victims of abuse tolerate it. Like I said before, he has brainwashed her and he manipulates her. She prolly thinks she cant do any better than him. Aside from that I do not know.

There is no proof of him actually beating her up. She claims she was assaulted by another woman, but we suspect otherwise based on his previous behavior and his reputation as a thug and girlfriend beater. Otherwise he'd be in jail right now.

The only proper solution that I 'am aware of is asking for prayer to know what to do that does not involve beating him up. Maybe ten years ago I wouldn't even think twice about hurting him, as I was just as bad if not worse as he is now.

It's a horrible situation I know and I've asked myself the same questions you asked me JFK. I cannot stop her from doing what she wants, she's an adult making choices, as horrible as they are. We've tried to tell her that he is bad news early on, and even his former girlfriend tried to warn her. It's frustrating.

[Nelson Boils]

If you think you are up to it, consider visiting him in jail.

Why should he visit him?

[octoberose]

If you think you are up to it, consider visiting him in jail.

Why should he visit him?

 Well, for one thing we are forgiven in proportion to how we forgive. This is an amazing opportunity for Porter to show grace in a situation where the World does not expect it. I considered quoting something about visiting those in prison, but that might be interpreted as visiting the righteous in prison and the persecuted. So, I'll go with forgiveness and loving your enemy. What good are we if we only love those who love us?

[Nelson Boils]

"Now you tell me you want to run up and give those people a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and tell them how much you love them. Anyone - don’t be intimidated, if you think so tell me. I know people who are so self-righteous, that they would say yes I would. If you would, you are perverted."

[Porter]

If you think you are up to it, consider visiting him in jail.

Why should he visit him?

 Well, for one thing we are forgiven in proportion to how we forgive. This is an amazing opportunity for Porter to show grace in a situation where the World does not expect it. I considered quoting something about visiting those in prison, but that might be interpreted as visiting the righteous in prison and the persecuted. So, I'll go with forgiveness and loving your enemy. What good are we if we only love those who love us?

Couldn't agree more octoberose. And no I didn't not take it that you meant I should phileo love him, but that I should agape love him. Ray explains it very well from that paper Shechiyn quoted.

http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,3719.0.html

"Now you tell me you want to run up and give those people a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and tell them how much you love them. Anyone - don’t be intimidated, if you think so tell me. I know people who are so self-righteous, that they would say yes I would. If you would, you are perverted.

Can you look beyond what they are doing, and at how filthy, corrupt and evil they are, and see a time when that evil can be burnt out of them. They can be brothers in the kingdom of God. Can you do that through the spirit of God? I can, that’s agape love."[/b]
----------------------

I think this is what Dave, Wittenberg and octoberose had in mind. Am I right?

[Wittenberg]

Porter, that is exactly what I meant, Ray said it better. I try not to "white knuckle" anything, to me that's relying on the flesh. I want to overcome by God's strength. Jesus said His yoke is light, I believe Him.

[Dave in Tenn]

Of course that's what I mean.   

Speaking practically, I can't think of a better 'setting' to test his repentance or lack thereof...or a better time-frame within which to build up the wisdom and courage to confront this guy in a Godly manner in whatever state you might find him.  He's coming out...do you really want to leave this all to 'corrections' or is there something you may can do?  The idea of it excites me.  I don't know that I'd be able to do it, but something tells me Porter might.  And if he can't or doesn't, or fails in the attempt?  That's lesson learned as well.  God is for you, my brother, and so am I--no matter what.

Jesus came to save sinners. 

I will pray for your daughter and for this piece of work, and for you especially.   

[octoberose]

Poter, how did you find that link on Ray's lesson on Love? I've never seen it before. I read it through but there's so much there I'm going to have to read it again. Thank you for it .

[Porter]

Octoberose,

The way I found it takes a little explaining, but the short version is it's in the "
Introductions, Announcements, and More of Ray's Teachings" section of the forum which can be found here @ http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,12.0.html

As to how I found it was a few years ago I downloaded all the material I could find that Ray had written to my hard drive so I could print them. As kind of a side benefit I can right click a folder that contains all his written material and search for specific text using a program called 'Hound3'. This way has been so much easier for me than using google. I can double click on a result that Hound3 finds and it will bring up the web page where the specific text was found. From there using my browser I can use the search function built in. So I searched for the word "perverted" and was easily able to find it.

The quote Shechiyn used sounded very familiar so I knew it had to be something Ray said. So thanks to Shechiyn also.  It's definitely a good read and reminder as how we are to love our enemies.

[octoberose]

Wow, Porter! You are a BT ninja Very impressive. I'm going to see if I can do that as soon as I find out if my computer supports Hound 3!
 After six years and nearly seven days of time on this site I'm tickled to find something I've never read! I bet theres a lot I have not found yet. Ray, the gift that keeps on giving!
  I haven't forgotten what this thread was originally about. Praying still.