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Author Topic: Ill  (Read 4681 times)

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« on: August 20, 2006, 09:48:52 PM »

Dear L.RaySmith,

I realize that you have answered my questions with honesty and integrity and I really thank you for that..

I am seeking TRUTH above all else...  I have been ill for many years with an immune disorder that baffles the medical field.  I have been through treatment after treatment..I have been through 'therapy' to rule out any mental disorders..( I suppose being neurotic is now considered Normal) I have been prayed for.  I have searched the scriptures for advice..adopted the diet that was suggested..Taken vast quantities of vitamins, minerals..YOU Name it..I have surely tried it.

My problem is this..I hate being ill.. I am so full of want for MORE Life.. MY life is reduced to isolation and much 'spiritual suffering"  for I have begged the Lord for release from this and there is only silence.. The answer to my prayer is a very silent....NO WAY SUCKER..Suffer..and this reduces me to the ridiculous state of WHY?  As I don't understand what it is I am suffering for?

I have read your paper on Pauls" thorn in the flesh.".And Like you ..I feel as though I would have thrown in the towel after the first beating..And yet..Paul's buffering was sent to keep him humble...I gather..TO wound him to the core..and I can tell you that the breaking of my flesh is such...

There are others who suffer so I am fully aware that my lot in life could be much much worse..and yet..I admit that my greatest sin is that I desire(no I lust) health..I want to live...and I am not granted this request..

Am I to understand that this denial of health is serving the Perfect Will of the Father..and I am to just leave it at that.?  Or do I have the right to request for healing.?

This is a most selfish request of mine..and to be sure...I admit that my demands have been relentless..But I vow to stop pestering you...I would just appreciate any insight you may have on this..My studies have lead me to conflicts..Some are healed..some are not..We are told to...Pray according to the Lords Will..and by his stripes we are healed..But perhaps that does not apply to this earthly existence..!  It is that Satan has been allowed to torment test me?

Many thanks if you have the time to comment..



Dear Barbara:

I too hate being ill. I have many illnesses, and I too have followed extremely strict diets and taken thousands of dollars worth of all natural vitimines and minerals. I get fresh air, sunshine and pretty good sleep.  I drink Ph. 8.1 water from 300 foot deep rock wells, etc., etc.  I will be healed when God is ready to heal me. I have learned to be content in my situation.  We cannot dictate to God how and when He should heal or bless us.  Look at Paul's life--not a bed of roses; not a walk in the park; yet he was one of the most spiritual men who has ever lived. We will pray for you,  Barbara,  as we do for all who are going through severe trials of the mind and body.

God be with you,

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