Hello nshan and welcome to the forum. ☺
You're certainly not alone in this battle against the flesh, as we all have to contend with it. I found this email from Ray I think may bring you some comfort. I will pray for you nshan.
Hi, Ray,
Thank you for your recent article.
I have a question: Does God hate me when I am tested and fail miserably?
What will He do to me?
Dear Gina: No, Gina, God does not hate you when you are tested and fail.
And how can I say that. Many reasons, not the least of which are the teachings
of Paul where he says:
Rom 6:12 Let not sin therefore reign [to RULE your life in your
mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.
Rom 6:14 For sin shall not have dominion [that is RULERSHIP,
complete control]over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.
It all has to do with your motivation. Is your desire to please God or to
sin and please yourself not just occasionally, but as a way of life. Notice
this encouragement from Paul:
2Co 13:5 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your
own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in
you, except ye be reprobates?
I don't think you are a "reprobate," Gina. A reprobate is one who is
morally unprincipled, not one who is striving to overcome sin.
Take a closer look at the Scriptures I presented which show the attitudes that God hates.
I will just give a few of the obvious ones, but I could go through every one of them:
They provoked Him to jealousy with strange gods (Deut. 32:16).
the wicked and him that loves violence His soul hates " (Psalm 11:5)
And ye shall not walk in the manners of the nations which I cast out (Lev. 20:23)
If ye will not hearken unto Me, and will not do all these commandments (Lev. 26:14).
You hate all workers of iniquity ..." (Psalm 5:5) Etc., etc.
Do you do these things as a way of life, Gina? Worship strange gods? love violence?
live like the wicked nations that God cast out? refuse to do all Gods commandments?
Are you a worker of iniquity? I don't think so. Listen Gina, once God calls you and you
accept that call then here is your spiritual condition from then on:
Rom 8:1 There is therefore now NO CONDEMNATION to them which
are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Hope this strengthens your faith, Gina.