Wondering why

Rhys 🕊 · April 18, 2020, 08:45:38 PM

Jesse had shared some verses in another post.

God has declared the end from the beginning (Isa. 46:10)

God works all things together for good (Rom. 8:28)

God has decided the length of our lives and knows exactly how many months we will live (Job 14:5)

God works all things according to the counsel of His will (Eph. 1:11)

After loss of my wife I hate God at times but at the same time still love Him. Is like I don't want to know anything about you or hear from you and at the same time I want to hear from you and know more about you. We can all feel that but at the level I feel, it makes it confusing and hard to make sense of anything. Guess I feel pulled in 2 opposite directions.

Have others experienced this and what are some good verses or passages from Ray that help?

With lockdown at the moment it makes it worse and i get more depressed. My mental health not so good so being told you need to isolate is terrible as that is the one thing I should not do. You can do Skype and other social media but is no social element like going to sports or going to restaurant. Those things help me in ways hard to explain.

The verses posted earlier are a challenge to me. Why after just getting my wife setup in New Zealand from Taiwan and her only working in hospital for 4 months did she have to go. She was a highly qualified nurse and beautiful loving encouraging person to me and others, she always reached out to people wth love and was a great example to me of what it is to love others. It all seems very unfair so you can understand my emotions to God. I often feel he has not a clue what he is doing. I feel like I am being punished for doing nothing wrong. I know from my church days older people who have kids and everything else in life and now there kids have kids and some are quite rich now and yet they believe a lie.

What makes it worse in lockdown for a virus that has never been in my town I had wedding anniversary last weekend and today would of been her birthday which makes it even harder. I've been through a lot and still physical issues with surgery being delayed you would think God would give you some answers but nothing.

I almost died so I also wonder why leave me behind with physical and emotional pain. I often tell God you made a mistake to let me live and ask Him each day to let me die as I won't take my own life.

Is difficult when God says He loves you but you can't feel it or see it anywhere.

Rhys

Dave in Tenn · April 18, 2020, 10:34:16 PM

Blessed are those who have seen and believed. More blessed are those who have not seen and believed. I don't know if that is a direct quote, but what I can call up from memory and from application for my own life. I can't say I am brimming over with a strong emotional love towards God. I'm at least a little suspicious of folks who say they are. The promise is that I will be... not that I am. Thou SHALT. I certainly wonder why He has formed me this far as He has.

Remember the account of the OT dude who wrestled with the angel? He got his blessing, but was crippled in the getting. That's life. He has plans for our good, but He will deliver on His promise after He has sifted us like wheat and ground us to powder.. We can't stop Him, and faith tells us we shouldn't.

If both you and Sheila had known in advance this was to happen, would you have refused to love her? If no, then that is a little inkling of Godliness. Soon enough, you are going to be blessed with sight at all the expressions of God's love...past, future and even (unbelievable that it may seem) the present. Until then, He can handle anything you throw at Him like a father wrestling with a toddler.

Rhys 🕊 · April 18, 2020, 11:20:37 PM

Thanks very much Dave for the encouragement

Learner · April 19, 2020, 04:22:52 AM

Dave said everything I would have liked to have but could not find the words.Hang in there Rhys you are not forgotten.

Porter · April 19, 2020, 06:35:57 AM

Quote from: Rhys on April 18, 2020, 08:45:38 PM

After loss of my wife I hate God at times but at the same time still love Him. Is like I don't want to know anything about you or hear from you and at the same time I want to hear from you and know more about you. We can all feel that but at the level I feel, it makes it confusing and hard to make sense of anything. Guess I feel pulled in 2 opposite directions.

Have others experienced this and what are some good verses or passages from Ray that help?

If I were being honest with myself I'd say yes, I can relate to how you feel about God. I don't have many words of wisdom of my own, but I did find this from Ray. It goes nicely with what Dave said. I hope it helps.

https://bible-truths.com/lake16-D5.htm

The heat, pressure, and fire, that God afflicts upon His called and chosen Elect to produce the godly character befitting sons of God, the Church calls curses of the Devil. Even as you sit and read the words of this Installment on hell, God is bringing spiritual heat, pressure, and fire into your life. You can either reject it by bringing out your Christian fire extinguisher, or you can let God's Consuming Fire burn out the resistance and animosity toward His correcting Word. You can either live to self and die to God, or you can die to self and live to God. If God is dealing with you, it is a painful experience that will liberate and set free your very soul, spirit, and mind.

Let's rehearse these words of encouragement again:

"...let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Notice that Jesus endured the cross, and all that went with it, "...for the joy that was set before Him..." There is a purpose for what we do and for what God is doing through us. There is a great goal set before us. There is great joy NOW, but only because what is "set before us."

Extol · April 19, 2020, 12:18:46 PM

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God... Romans 8:18, 28

Dear Rhys,

The Lord has spared me from anything close to what you are experiencing, so if the above words came from me, they might ring hollow. But I hope you can find encouragement, because the man who wrote them was no stranger to suffering, as we read in 2 Corinthians 11:

23 Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft.

24 Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. [People have died from receiving this once.]

25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;

26 In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;

27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.

And as he sat in prison awaiting execution, he wrote at the end of his final epistle,

And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. 2 Tim. 4:18

Wow! He knew he was about to be killed, and he still said "The Lord shall deliver me..."

There is a lot we don't understand, but I trust that one day we will be given explanations. We will find out why there was a seemingly pointless car crash and say, with Paul, O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! (Rom. 11:33)

Sheila only worked at the hospital four months, but that is only a shadow of what is to come. She will be alive again, and she'll be loving and encouraging people far longer and far better than she ever did in this life.

Wanda · April 19, 2020, 02:00:04 PM

I remember Ray talking about why Adam ate of the fruit Eve gave him. He said something like Adam loved her so much that if she was going to die he didn't want to live without her. I'm sure you can Identify with that Ryes.

I've done some wrestling with God over some extremely harsh experiences myself. I could do nothing to get past my, not so kind thoughts and feelings towards him, because it wasn't within my power to do so. I even raged with anger towards him at times, which gave me a temporary sense of control in the matter. Only later to turn to him in desperation, because I needed him to give me a reason, so I could understand the why of it all, and regain my trust in him. I don't have much to offer, only to say it was a process I had to go through before I came out on the other side, and was able to believe it had a purpose.

Many times I felt like Jesus did when he threw himself upon the mercy of his Father and ask if it be possible let this cup pass from me. Matt. 26:39

The end result was learning I had to rely on God in all things even when I didn't understand why. I became like a child again, when I was totally dependent on others for everything. I used to ask my mama the why of every decision she made for me when I didn't agree. Her answer was always the same, "because I say so". I think God has better answers for me than that, even if I don't always agree with them at the time.

Rhys 🕊 · April 19, 2020, 02:42:36 PM

Quote from: Learner on April 19, 2020, 04:22:52 AM
Dave said everything I would have liked to have but could not find the words.Hang in there Rhys you are not forgotten.

Thanks very much for your words

Rhys

Rhys 🕊 · April 19, 2020, 02:49:27 PM

Quote from: Porter on April 19, 2020, 06:35:57 AM
Quote from: Rhys on April 18, 2020, 08:45:38 PM

After loss of my wife I hate God at times but at the same time still love Him. Is like I don't want to know anything about you or hear from you and at the same time I want to hear from you and know more about you. We can all feel that but at the level I feel, it makes it confusing and hard to make sense of anything. Guess I feel pulled in 2 opposite directions.

Have others experienced this and what are some good verses or passages from Ray that help?

If I were being honest with myself I'd say yes, I can relate to how you feel about God. I don't have many words of wisdom of my own, but I did find this from Ray. It goes nicely with what Dave said. I hope it helps.

https://bible-truths.com/lake16-D5.htm

The heat, pressure, and fire, that God afflicts upon His called and chosen Elect to produce the godly character befitting sons of God, the Church calls curses of the Devil. Even as you sit and read the words of this Installment on hell, God is bringing spiritual heat, pressure, and fire into your life. You can either reject it by bringing out your Christian fire extinguisher, or you can let God's Consuming Fire burn out the resistance and animosity toward His correcting Word. You can either live to self and die to God, or you can die to self and live to God. If God is dealing with you, it is a painful experience that will liberate and set free your very soul, spirit, and mind.

Let's rehearse these words of encouragement again:

"...let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Notice that Jesus endured the cross, and all that went with it, "...for the joy that was set before Him..." There is a purpose for what we do and for what God is doing through us. There is a great goal set before us. There is great joy NOW, but only because what is "set before us."

Thanks for that passage. I felt a while ago I need to go through the fire and not around it or try and put it out. The hardest place is to go through the fire but it is also the best place.

Rhys

Rhys 🕊 · April 19, 2020, 02:52:09 PM

Quote from: Extol on April 19, 2020, 12:18:46 PM
For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God... Romans 8:18, 28

Dear Rhys,

The Lord has spared me from anything close to what you are experiencing, so if the above words came from me, they might ring hollow. But I hope you can find encouragement, because the man who wrote them was no stranger to suffering, as we read in 2 Corinthians 11:

23 Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft.

24 Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. [People have died from receiving this once.]

25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;

26 In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;

27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.

And as he sat in prison awaiting execution, he wrote at the end of his final epistle,

And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. 2 Tim. 4:18

Wow! He knew he was about to be killed, and he still said "The Lord shall deliver me..."

There is a lot we don't understand, but I trust that one day we will be given explanations. We will find out why there was a seemingly pointless car crash and say, with Paul, O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! (Rom. 11:33)

Sheila only worked at the hospital four months, but that is only a shadow of what is to come. She will be alive again, and she'll be loving and encouraging people far longer and far better than she ever did in this life.

Thanks for the verses and the encouragement Jesse. Things will be well one day I know but is just dealing with the now that is difficult.

Rhys

loveroftruth · July 05, 2020, 09:27:47 AM

Hello Rhys, my dear brother. While I know that human words cannot express the depth of what you need to hear. I am truly sorry for your loss.

My thoughts for your suffering:
*While you are going through your fiery trials, Jesus/Yeshua is not at the sidelines cheering you on, HE IS HOLDING YOUR HAND AND IS TOGETHER WITH YOU, THROUGH THOSE FIRES OF TRIALS! (Just like Daniel in the Lions den- Daniel was not alone, there was a second person in there with those lions, and it was Jesus/Yeshua, who was fighting your battle for you...when you couldn't fight for yourself.) (And like Shadrack, Meshack, and Abednigo... they were literally thrown in the fiery furnace, and when the others looked into the fire pit, they saw FOUR PEOPLE, not these three... Jesus/Yeshua WAS WITH THEM IN THEIR FIERY TRIALS...THEY SURVIVED AND WERE UNHARMED

Remember, the enemy prowls around you at this time, and he is allowed to use situations/circumstances like yours that can nearly break us, and this is one of those times: so stay in the Word, stay close to GOD, and do not let the devil overwhelm you with negative thinking and or negative emotions.... God must think very highly of u/elect

to allow you to go through these trials...

remember Job... he had it all taken away from him, and was tested to see if he would curse GOD, and Job passed the test and HE GOT REPAID 7 TIMES MORE THAN HE HAD, THAT THE ENEMY STOLE FROM HIM

I understand where the Word says that it is better to cry than to laugh... because those laughing do not understand the deepest spiritual meaning of life

Just thinking of you and offering you some spiritual food for thought!

Luv Ya Brother!
Susan- In West Texas

loveroftruth · July 05, 2020, 04:28:18 PM

Oh, and DO NOT LET THE ENEMY STEAL YOUR JOY!! HE COMES TO KILL, STEAL, AND DESTROY YOUR JOY... DONT GIVE IT TO HIM...

REMEMBER: I OVER E; I/E; INTILLECT OVER EMOTIONS; USE YOUR INTILLECT, NOT YOUR EMOTIONS/FEELINGS, BECASUE YOUR FEELINGS CAN GIVE YOU PEACE; YOUR FEELINGS CAN NEVER BE AT PEACE, YOUR INTILLECT/LOGIC/FAITH CAN GIVE YOU PEACE.

PLEASE GOOGLE
ELIZABETH KUBLER ROSS: "THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEF":
STAGE 1: DENIAL
STAGE 2: ANGER
STAGE 3: BARGAINING WITH GOD
STAGE 4: DEPRESSION
STAGE 5: ACCEPTANCE

loveroftruth · July 05, 2020, 08:00:32 PM

oops, that next to last line in prior post was meant to say: that your emotions will NOT give you peace, your intellect/wisdom will though..

Rhys 🕊 · July 10, 2020, 04:21:34 AM

Thanks for that. I will have a read of that. My psychologist has given me a lot to read and have read quite a lot.

In a couple of days I will have surgery to reverse stoma. I will have more time to read as off work fir a few weeks

Rhys

loveroftruth · July 10, 2020, 07:10:07 AM

Good Morning Rhys. I'm glad that your Psychologist is helping! (Make sure they are giving you GODLY advice as well )...Your healing journey is a trial, I am sure of that, I have you in my heart and prayers... It breaks my heart for you that the enemy is allowed to cause you such grief, but at the same time, I know that Jesus is walking in that fire with you, He's not just on the outside of that fire cheering you on...OUR HEAVENLY FATHER has allowed it for HIS reasons and purposes, but HE and Jesus are crying with you... they are not immune to YOUR pain....

Also praying that your surgery comes out well..... when is it? You will have to keep me/us informed as to how it went.

Again brother, IT'S OK AND EVEN IMPORTANT TO GRIEVE, BUT DO NOT LET THE ENEMY STEAL YOUR JOY! WOULD A GRIEF SUPPORT GROUP HELP YOU?

MANY BLESSINGS,,,
Susan