learning from trails and tribuations (long)

[Lacey23]

Hi everyone- I was previously known as aglowtunic while a member with the forum about 2 years ago, I dont' know if any of you still remember me- I lost the password to the forum and hasn't logged in since now- I had to create a new user name and password to create a new account with the forum. the new username is Lacey23 so feel free to drop in and say hi anytime. I have a series of questions about everything. There's definetely plenty of things to learn out in this world and what God has to teach us, to allow us to grow spritually- just have to remember that what we experience in this world is for our spirtual growth sake, to grow into God's children, to be like Jesus, Jesus is the perfect example of God's child. We are to strive to be like Jesus- that defientely isn't easy- that's for sure. But hey- God said he will give us the strength to do so if we are meant to be in this lifetime, just remember- in the end of the whole era thing, God will save the rest of humanity that has ever lived but certaintly it will be thorugh dragging- chastening, and alot of not-so easy frustrations like what we are going through right now but what i've read- Paul said it's better to deal with it NOW- rather than later. We better listen to Paul's advice and try anyway- Just know GOd knows our hearts- even if we did try- God will admire that in you. Someone who's never giving up- maybe that's one of God's gifts to you- to never give up, strive to keep on going etc, and in the end when you give your account to God, God will tell you that he does admire that and that alone would give you a great feeling of accomplishment- We have our flaws and faults- Just know that God doesn't allow bad things- like our faults- sins, etc to hurt us- but he does cause it for our own good, like something Ray says- we cannot appreciate the good without the evil.  Just know we cannot apprecaite the opposite of everything if we dont' experience the opposite of that. God never does it to hurt us, just know that, just know that it's forour own benefit- for our own good.  God is our Father and we are his children-  just htink about it htis way- as we mature spirtually- we grow into older children and we are to help the younger ones by setting an example- it's the same as brother and sister sutiation. like the older brother or sister- and the younger child tends to look up to their older brother and sister for guidance, and Jesus is the most mature sibling and we are to look up to Jesus for guidance so does Jesus to his Father in Heaven.


I have a question- i know some of you already experienced this and i would like to get some guidance from you, let me explain my suitation first-  I am experiencing my trouble with inferity for the last three years and just had my first artifical insemination just a week ago. I am deeply hurt at the fact that i wasn't able to concieve on my own- even though all the fertiity tests came back normal- I couldn't understand it. My husband's tests came back normal- but the sperm count was strong but slightly lower than normal- but it wasn't an concern according to my dr.  we tried and tried- I stopped trying for the last few months- it did feel good that i wasn't trying hard- you know monitoring and everything- we just did it whenever we felt like- and it was a freedom come back since the days before we started trying- but the months goes on and on- nothing happened- a friend of mine- she told me that i needed to stop thinking about it- but I told her that it wasn't that easy becuase she and people around me are pregnant and it constnatly reminds me of my desire to have children-I know it is easy for others to say than done because of it not happening to them- I stopped trying and realized its in God's control- and I did that but it's my thoughts that cosntantly comes back when i see pregnant women and children in tow- it just makes me wonder when my time will come- I tried to be patient- God said if you ask for it and bellieves you have recieved it- I dont' know what he meant- does he meant to believe that it will come in God's time in my life time or ? I am trying to remind myself alot now that God knows what he is doing and that i need to trust him more- and let things happen in God's time. It's not easy when you dont' know when, I kind of got my hopes up a little bit when I had my artifiical insemination this past monday- because all the doors seemed to point me to having artiical insemination. i mean- my husband wnating me to go when i didn't want it- and then doug's work schedule came up and it didn't look like we were having artifical insemination this month and then a few days later- it cleared up- changes in my husband's work trips changed, it just cleared up- all my tests came back normal  while we were being monitored for artifical insemination- it kind of made me think- maybe God wanted me to go thru with artificial insemaintion for a reason- the only thing that's keeping me from getting excited was becasue my hsuband's sperm count didn't come out at a great count this time- it was due to the stress, it's due to the whole artifiical insemination sutiation and he was overwhelmed and stressed out- he wasn't able to produce enough- that's okay- I'm going to stay hopeful that a preganncy can happen- you know what's funny? i'm already wishing for twins so i could get over with the inferitiy battle and get it over with becuase this inferitiy battle hting is emotioanlly draining- it just drains you constnatly with the disapppointments- the saddness- etc,  I was angry for a while in the past at God but recently i realized that God was telling that satan can cause divisions using an example like this one- and i was amazed- maybe God wanted me to understand this- not just this but to humble me too. I hope you will be able to pray for me that God will fulfill my desire of getting pregnant soon hopefully this time. My husband felt bad that he wasn't able to produce enough for the iui- but i told to remain positive about the whole thing because it can still happen-  I wanted him to feel that his sperm count this time was still able to get me pregnant and it would certainly be a miracle.  I hope all of you will pray for me and my husband.  That will mean alot to us.  Thank you for reading and i am sorry about making this message a long one-


thanks,

Lacey

[hillsbororiver]

Hi Lacey,

Your desire for children certainly seems to be honorable and in accordance with His command,

To Adam;

Gen 1:28  And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

And to Noah;

Gen 9:1  And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

Of course there are spiritual implications and many layers of truths in these passages other than physically bearing children. When we pray for things we always first and foremost must humbly seek His will before our own. Ray has an excellent article that addresses prayer;

http://bible-truths.com/praying.htm

I hope this helps and I am really glad you shared your concerns here.

His Peace and Wisdom to you and yours,

Joe

[shoani]

hi Lacey, welcome back

i - dont know were to start- am not good with writing especially with this topic.

Your story is a little identical to mine.  i never went for an insemination and opted to wait on God without waisting any money (not that i was not tempted, i went for tests and never got to fetch the result). I KNOW EXACTLY HOW U FEEL EXPECIALLY ABOUT TWINS. i cant help but think that twins can be a hussle but that is what i pray for as well. my problem was constricted tubes and i belive God has a purpose. at least U have ur hubby by ur side which is good. with me, it caused a rife that may lead to a divorce but am putting God first in all those.
i read an intersting story (on Health24 site)about another woman who tried(IVF) seven times and succeeded the eighth time. its like the story of a rightous man falling seven times and rising again.

I get angry with God sometimes that to some people it is as easy as that, whereas to some of us is as heavy as h....l. its emotionally draining and it kind of makes one loose hope. this infertility topic is making my heart heavy with pain and tears. i cannot help but think why does God make it so difficult for some of us. there R lot of promises that one can pick from the bible but for me none has materialised. i remember one prophet came over me and said God said He is going to bless my womb in Spring(2005) and i kept waiting until today. i exhausted myself visiting infertility sites and getting as much infor as possible but the stress is enormous. Only if God can hear my plight and never, and i mean never have any married woman infertile or struggling for a child. its the most killer-pain that a woman can bear. it makes the marriage less enjoyable.

To  U let me say, hang in there and do your efforts but put him first. He has a lesson that He wants U to learn out of all that. Nothing will separate us from the luv of God even infertility. HE luvs as just the same. I sometimes console myself and pick that quote from the bible that goes somethin like " there will come a day that happy will be a woman who never bore a child" i just dont know where in the bible chapters is that. Hang in there sister, U not alone.

There R times that i get happy that  I dont have a child and can enjoy my life fully without waking up at night and looking for nannies all over and getting worried for no apparent reason. there is a good side to it really, we R just cought up in pain that we dont realise it. am happy cos U trying without any pressure. be easy on yourself and give yourself a break inbetween the inseminations. its not your fault that U R like that, it really is'nt.

I' ll pray for U sister. dont let go of prayer until He gives in to your needs. not that a prayer can change his mind.

God be with U

shoane

[YellowStone]

Hi Lacy, welcome back !

Your story almost exactly mirrors that of my son and his wife, who were unable to have a baby even after trying just about everything.

All was not lost however, because God was with them and offered them the path of adoption. After a short but frustrating wait (11months) they were given short notice that a mother was to give birth within the week to a child that needed parents. They were of course ecstatic, having been pre-qualified for adoption. They were at the hospital at the birth of "their" son, and love him as their own. He is my first grandson and no greater love has a poppy ever had for his grandson who is about to turn two.

Love is everything, we know this because God is love and his is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. Blood, is not a limitation of love but rather one of our own carnal minds. I know not everyone can or are ready to adopt a child, but I would ask that you atleast consider the option. I have no children of my own, my two sons are mine by love, respect only, though my youngest son, just turned 18 and changed his name to mine. I do not love him any less because his blood is different than mine, for love is the great equalizer.

I hope I have not stepped on any sacred ground here.

Much love to you,

Darren

[buddyjc]

Hello Lacey,

I think I do recall you.  I have been around for awhile.  Since I am a man, it is difficult for me to feel your pain.  I have been thinking about your post for days, wondering what I could say to make you feel better.  My heart goes out to you, and I am praying that God's will will be done in this matter.  Waiting on God can be a difficult thing for us, but you are not alone in this wait.  Sarah, Abraham's wife, waited for Isaac.  Hannah waited for Samuel.  Rachel waited for Joseph, and Elizabeth waited for John the Baptist.  I am sure that these are not the only ones who have waited on God to open the womb.  Remember Lacey, that it is God who does this.  He opens and shuts the womb, and God does everything for a purpose.  You can always trust your loving Father. 

Psa 37:4  Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Psa 37:5  Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.   

Pro 3:5  Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

God wants you to cast ALL you cares upon Him.

1Pe 5:6  Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

1Pe 5:7  Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

As you go through this trial, always keep in mind that God is in control of every aspect of your life.  Keep your eyes fixed on Christ, the author and finisher of your faith.  Don't lose hope Lacey.  I myself have been going through a period in my life where God has been teaching me how to wait on Him.  I have a daughter, her name is Anna, who was diagnosed a few weeks ago with diabetes.  The expense has been wearing a giant hole in my wallet, and I have had to keep telling myself that God is in control, don't worry.  We have been waiting for news about insurance, and just now while writing this post, my wife has told me that the insurance we have on her is now in effect, and we are not going to have to pay a dime for anything.  Praise God!!!  Do you think it is a coincidence that I am writing this to you, and I get news like that?!  Wait on God Lacey, it will be worth it.  I don't know what God's plan is.  His plan might be that you adopt, as Darren suggested.  It might be insemination, so keep trying.  He might be teaching you, as with me, to wait on Him.  Whatever God's plan Lacey, don't lose faith and hope.  Do not allow bitterness to come into your life. 

We here at Bible-Truths consider you a part of our family.  You can come here to get away from the world, or to have a place where you can dump your troubles out.  We are here for you Lacey. 

Your Brother in Christ,
Brian

[justifyothers]

Hi lacey,
I am new to this forum, so I don't remember you. But I felt your pain as I read your post.
It's funny about prayer. Jesus tells us a few things about it:

Pray privately
Pray consistently
Ask God as a Father
Pray that His will be done on earth....you know the rest.

Oh sweetie...the VERY best thing for you to do is to pray for God's will -- not that you will become pregnant, or that you will be given what you ask for, but to pray for His will. " Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven..." This is true. I can't relate it to your exact situation, but I know it is true in my life and I have seen the power of seeking Him first!!
Not that you are anywhere near giving up, because people sometimes wait years for these things -- but adoption is a wonderful opportunity to follow Jesus and help "the least of these".
A little humor.....kids are boogers anyway!! Sure they are cute when they are babies, but then they start asking for money$$$$$ ;-)
Will pray for you guys for sure!!!
karen

[Lacey23]

Hi Joe, Shoane, Darren, Brian and Karen,

Thank you very much for responding to my questions and giving me the link on how God wants us to pray and scriptures- they were a huge help. To be honest with you, right now I feel a whole better knowing that what I went thru, it's not to hurt us but for our benefit and from what I've experienced in the last 3 years with infertity, I was spiritually behaving like a little girl- screaming at God for not giving me what I wanted at the time. God had a good reason for putting me thru that, and right now I feel so immature for being like that. It's amazing how God teaches us lessons thru life experiences and none of them are easy-I thank the Lord for letting me go thru with this because it taught me a lot. I can feel that you guys have prayed for me, because I am starting to see this situation differently now, I wanted to say thanks for praying for me. I see that the baby issue isn't the end of the world, and it's not life and death important kind of thing, not something that I have to have because others were having it.  God will bless me when he wants to and after all, babies are one of the gifts from God and it should be freely given too.

Thanks for replying to my message. It's greatly appreciated!!!! And I apologize for making you guys wait a week for it.

Lacey

Hi Lacey,

Your desire for children certainly seems to be honorable and in accordance with His command,

To Adam;

Gen 1:28  And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

And to Noah;

Gen 9:1  And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

Of course there are spiritual implications and many layers of truths in these passages other than physically bearing children. When we pray for things we always first and foremost must humbly seek His will before our own. Ray has an excellent article that addresses prayer;

http://bible-truths.com/praying.htm

I hope this helps and I am really glad you shared your concerns here.

His Peace and Wisdom to you and yours,

Joe

hi Lacey, welcome back

i - dont know were to start- am not good with writing especially with this topic.

Your story is a little identical to mine. i never went for an insemination and opted to wait on God without waisting any money (not that i was not tempted, i went for tests and never got to fetch the result). I KNOW EXACTLY HOW U FEEL EXPECIALLY ABOUT TWINS. i cant help but think that twins can be a hussle but that is what i pray for as well. my problem was constricted tubes and i belive God has a purpose. at least U have ur hubby by ur side which is good. with me, it caused a rife that may lead to a divorce but am putting God first in all those.
i read an intersting story (on Health24 site)about another woman who tried(IVF) seven times and succeeded the eighth time. its like the story of a rightous man falling seven times and rising again.

I get angry with God sometimes that to some people it is as easy as that, whereas to some of us is as heavy as h....l. its emotionally draining and it kind of makes one loose hope. this infertility topic is making my heart heavy with pain and tears. i cannot help but think why does God make it so difficult for some of us. there R lot of promises that one can pick from the bible but for me none has materialised. i remember one prophet came over me and said God said He is going to bless my womb in Spring(2005) and i kept waiting until today. i exhausted myself visiting infertility sites and getting as much infor as possible but the stress is enormous. Only if God can hear my plight and never, and i mean never have any married woman infertile or struggling for a child. its the most killer-pain that a woman can bear. it makes the marriage less enjoyable.

To U let me say, hang in there and do your efforts but put him first. He has a lesson that He wants U to learn out of all that. Nothing will separate us from the luv of God even infertility. HE luvs as just the same. I sometimes console myself and pick that quote from the bible that goes somethin like " there will come a day that happy will be a woman who never bore a child" i just dont know where in the bible chapters is that. Hang in there sister, U not alone.

There R times that i get happy that I dont have a child and can enjoy my life fully without waking up at night and looking for nannies all over and getting worried for no apparent reason. there is a good side to it really, we R just cought up in pain that we dont realise it. am happy cos U trying without any pressure. be easy on yourself and give yourself a break inbetween the inseminations. its not your fault that U R like that, it really is'nt.

I' ll pray for U sister. dont let go of prayer until He gives in to your needs. not that a prayer can change his mind.

God be with U

shoane

Hi Lacy, welcome back !

Your story almost exactly mirrors that of my son and his wife, who were unable to have a baby even after trying just about everything.

All was not lost however, because God was with them and offered them the path of adoption. After a short but frustrating wait (11months) they were given short notice that a mother was to give birth within the week to a child that needed parents. They were of course ecstatic, having been pre-qualified for adoption. They were at the hospital at the birth of "their" son, and love him as their own. He is my first grandson and no greater love has a poppy ever had for his grandson who is about to turn two.

Love is everything, we know this because God is love and his is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. Blood, is not a limitation of love but rather one of our own carnal minds. I know not everyone can or are ready to adopt a child, but I would ask that you atleast consider the option. I have no children of my own, my two sons are mine by love, respect only, though my youngest son, just turned 18 and changed his name to mine. I do not love him any less because his blood is different than mine, for love is the great equalizer.

I hope I have not stepped on any sacred ground here.

Much love to you,

Darren

Hello Lacey,

I think I do recall you. I have been around for awhile. Since I am a man, it is difficult for me to feel your pain. I have been thinking about your post for days, wondering what I could say to make you feel better. My heart goes out to you, and I am praying that God's will will be done in this matter. Waiting on God can be a difficult thing for us, but you are not alone in this wait. Sarah, Abraham's wife, waited for Isaac. Hannah waited for Samuel. Rachel waited for Joseph, and Elizabeth waited for John the Baptist. I am sure that these are not the only ones who have waited on God to open the womb. Remember Lacey, that it is God who does this. He opens and shuts the womb, and God does everything for a purpose. You can always trust your loving Father.

Psa 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

Psa 37:5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

God wants you to cast ALL you cares upon Him.

1Pe 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:

1Pe 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

As you go through this trial, always keep in mind that God is in control of every aspect of your life. Keep your eyes fixed on Christ, the author and finisher of your faith. Don't lose hope Lacey. I myself have been going through a period in my life where God has been teaching me how to wait on Him. I have a daughter, her name is Anna, who was diagnosed a few weeks ago with diabetes. The expense has been wearing a giant hole in my wallet, and I have had to keep telling myself that God is in control, don't worry. We have been waiting for news about insurance, and just now while writing this post, my wife has told me that the insurance we have on her is now in effect, and we are not going to have to pay a dime for anything. Praise God!!! Do you think it is a coincidence that I am writing this to you, and I get news like that?! Wait on God Lacey, it will be worth it. I don't know what God's plan is. His plan might be that you adopt, as Darren suggested. It might be insemination, so keep trying. He might be teaching you, as with me, to wait on Him. Whatever God's plan Lacey, don't lose faith and hope. Do not allow bitterness to come into your life.

We here at Bible-Truths consider you a part of our family. You can come here to get away from the world, or to have a place where you can dump your troubles out. We are here for you Lacey.

Your Brother in Christ,
Brian

Hi lacey,
I am new to this forum, so I don't remember you. But I felt your pain as I read your post.
It's funny about prayer. Jesus tells us a few things about it:

Pray privately
Pray consistently
Ask God as a Father
Pray that His will be done on earth....you know the rest.

Oh sweetie...the VERY best thing for you to do is to pray for God's will -- not that you will become pregnant, or that you will be given what you ask for, but to pray for His will. " Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven..." This is true. I can't relate it to your exact situation, but I know it is true in my life and I have seen the power of seeking Him first!!
Not that you are anywhere near giving up, because people sometimes wait years for these things -- but adoption is a wonderful opportunity to follow Jesus and help "the least of these".
A little humor.....kids are boogers anyway!! Sure they are cute when they are babies, but then they start asking for money$$$$$ ;-)
Will pray for you guys for sure!!!
karen

[bobbys43]

Hello Lacey,

I have a friend and he and his wife wanted so badly to have children. They both just love children but it just was not God's will for their life. Instead God gave them nieces and nephews to raise and take care of because there parents did not have the time for them and really did not care what happened to them.

they are now taking care of another niece and nephew who's mother just packed up and left them and their father does not take the time to care for them. This friend even goes to the school when the nephew gets in trouble to talk with the principal and his councelor. These kids are emotionally unstable but God provided this friend of mine and his wife to take very good care of them. I was with my friend one day and he had the niece with him and I heard the sweetest and most loving thing come out of their mouths and it was "Mark I love you" and he replied back to her "I love you too' and the look in both of their eyes just made my heart melt. I could tell they really ment what they said.

I know this is probably not much of a help to you but God may have something very special for you and your husband and maybe it just is not time for that special something to be sent to you yet. And when it arrives it will have been well worth the wating.

I will pray for you and your husband my friend.

Much love to you,

bobby(bob)