It is so hard to break through. I feel at times that the Bible is beyond my comprehension now. That it is impossible for me to understand the deeper things. It is all so confusing. Yet, I know that all I ever wanted was to know the Truth, but I feel that I am at a standstill beacuse everything I thought was, is really not. I have had my eyes opened to Bible Truths probably since early March of this year.
As others have stated here, this is a long and sometimes hard process. It takes time to unlearn all the lies the world teaches and replace them with God's truth. I think we all have to learn a bit at a time otherwise our minds will just melt. It is easy for me to get impatient and want it all now...but God doesn't seem to give it to us in a lump...I think we weren't designed to handle it this way. I know it can be hard to understand and still harder to put into practice...but you can cease striving and fighting for the truth. Rest a bit in Him and wait on Him. Like YellowStone, I go out alone to be quiet and listen to God. He seems to use that to soothe me and quiet my mind and it gives me peace and joy. You'll learn, rest assured, He will finish the work He has begun in you. It just takes time.
Has any one been at this place? I feel frozen. and I am so utterly frustated and I am so completely confused about this life....
This is normal and we all go through it. It seems to be part of the process of bringing one closer to Him. Hurts and is hard to go through...but it does work. It will get better...and then you'll likely go through another trial...and then it'll get better...
-is everything that happens in my life God's plan? are we puppets? chess pieces?
Yes, everything that happens in your life is God's plan. I can understand why this may seem like we are "puppets" or "chess pieces"...but that's not really true. It's hard to come to terms with the concept that we don't have free will. After all, it seems to be the one thing that people everywhere agree on...and yet it's a lie. I think of it this way...people create circumstances for their children where they have set everything up and then ask them to make a choice. That isn't coming across well but perhaps you'll understand. But, I see parents of young children do this all the time. Put a simple choice in front of their kid and then use the choice they make as a lesson (yes, that is an excellent choice or well, these are the consequences of that..perhaps the other one would have been better). That's how I think of God. Like a parent dealing with a very young child. He puts choices in front of us (and He does know what we are going to choose) and then He shows us through the circumstances that follow if it was the right one to make. And we learn from our mistakes and our correct choices. Does that make any sense?
-does prayer change anything besides my perspective? and does my perspective even matter?
Prayer is part of God's plan for you to learn His will and how He wants you to be. I'm not sure about your first question...but it can (and often does) change your perspective (or at least it does mine). And I think your perspective matters. He is training us to live in harmony and according to His will. That is all about perspective. He is teaching us to see and live according to His perspective in a way.
-does God actively intervene- isn't eveything already set in stone?
This is also a tough and very good question. But it isn't as black and white as either He intervenes or everything is set in stone. God doesn't have to intervene because that suggests that He was not active at some given time and then returns to being active. The truth is...everything at every minute is under God's direct and active control. He knows how things are going to turn out because He planned it all from the beginning. So, in a sense, everything is set in stone. But...and this is a really big but...when you come to understand how and why this works, it isn't a reason for despair (as in...well, there's no hope because it all is predestined to turn out a certain way) but a reason for great joy. That seems to be counter to what our human minds want to think though. It is set in stone because God has it worked out perfectly, for our benefit. It would be reason for despair if God didn't love us so much. He knows exactly how to make this all work out so that all will be perfectly reconcilled to Him. And so, He gently moves events and us so that we learn what we need to and He can make everything perfect in the end.
One college class I took many years ago described a theology of God as the "watchmaker".
He wound up the world long ago and now it is ticking out its time......and he has no direct dealings with any of it. It is completely finished.....
That is a totally incorrect understanding of God that a lot of people seem to have. He isn't some impartial being in some place in the sky. Reminds me of a song..."the true King sits on His heavenly throne, neither away nor above nor afar. With wisdom and mercy and constant compassion, He lives in the love that lives in our hearts". God is ever present and ever active. His love knows no bounds and it beyond all our imaginings. And He is not only directly involved with the world, if He ever quit, it wouldn't exist. And one day He will complete His work according to His will and all will be reconcilled and He will be All in All.
I am feeling very hopeless about all things in this life and even in the world to come.
is this a normal process and will there be a breakthrough even though I cannot open the Bible right now?
It is a normal process and it'll likely happen again and again. It seems especially bad when we first have to give up the illusion of free will...but comes again later. There is, however, reason for great hope...Christ really is Good News for ALL people. Keep seeking God...you will find Him for sure. He has promised that and He always keeps His promises.
sorry to sound so dumb- I have been afraid to ask any questions but I am getting no where on my own- and certainly no one I know really has any insight that is not linked into mainstream Christianity's doctrines. Yes, I do seek God, converse with Him, etc, and feel very consious of Him and desperately need Him at all times......I do want to know.
'
You don't sound dumb and I'm glad you asked your questions. You say that you are concious of God and are aware that you desperately need Him...that comes from Him. He is dragging you to Himself. It's ok to feel unsure and to have doubts and be afraid. Tell Him how you feel, and ask Him for comfort and understanding. It'll come. I have fought and tried to say no and all that...and I can't believe how far He has brought me already. He has given me great joy and yet I still have lots of doubts and times of fear and despair. We're all still works in progress and rest assured, you are far from alone.
Much love to you in Christ,
mongoose