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questions I am afraid to ask

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hart4god:
Hi,
I have read all of Ray's posted material. I have read some of it twice and studied some of it.
I have NOT been able to read/study the Bible very much on my own. All I hear when I open the Word is the programmed theology of the past 28 years of my Christian life. It is so hard to break through. I feel at times that the Bible is beyond my comprehension now. That it is impossible for me to understand the deeper things. It is all so confusing. Yet, I know that all I ever wanted was to know the Truth, but I feel that I am at a standstill beacuse everything I thought was, is really not. I have had my eyes opened to Bible Truths probably since early March of this year.

Has any one been at this place? I feel frozen. and I am so utterly frustated and I am so completely confused about this life....
-is everything that happens in my life God's plan? are we puppets? chess pieces?
-does prayer change anything  besides my perspective? and does my perspective even matter?
-does God actively intervene- isn't eveything already set in stone?

One college class I took many years ago described a theology of God as the "watchmaker".
He wound up the world long ago and now it is ticking out its time......and he has no direct dealings with any of it. It is completely finished.....
because I cannot study right now (in times past- I was fervent in my devotions and study time), I am feeling very hopeless about all things in this life and even in the world to come.

is this a normal process and will there be a breakthrough even though I cannot open the Bible right now?
sorry to sound so dumb- I have been afraid to ask any questions but I am getting no where on my own- and certainly no one I know really has any insight that is not linked into mainstream Christianity's doctrines. Yes, I do seek God, converse with Him, etc, and feel very consious of Him and desperately need Him at all times......I do want to know.

you guys are it.
should I just go soak my head? :)
judie h.

YellowStone:
Hi Judie,

Do not fret my friend, I for one know exactly what you say. Feeling lost and confused and totally unsure whom are acting as angels of light and whom are not is scary to the extreme.

I handled it in my own way and I am not for a moment saying it will work for you or anyone else, but here goes. :)

First off, know deep in your hear that God is with you and for you always. Feel him, listen to him, know him and trust him. Believe it or not, this was far easier than I ever imagined. One does not need scripture to come to God. One does not need to attend the church of man, nor fervently follow their traditions. Your walk with God is your walk; not mine or any others. Just you and God.

I would and still do isolate myself from distraction, just so that I can be alone with God. Some may call it meditation, I call it being at peace and it is at such times that I feel God the most. It is at such times ideas, thoughts, answers etc come to me the clearest. Over time, I have found that God was always talking, but I just wasn't listening. (My wife still say's that) :)

God will continue to open your eyes and heart to understanding according to his will and his time. Take comfort in the fact that he has directed you to Bible-Truths, believe me it is a huge start. I found more coherent answers on my first visit than during the 30 something years of church.

I also believe that our instruction of "come out of her....." (the church) is to remove ourselves from their laws, instruction and fear. We cannot earn our salvation and we ARE NOT responsible for it; God is!

God is! what a wonderful statement. God is everything we could and will ever need. Walk slowly with him and smell the roses and enjoy the life around you.

Perhaps my favorite Scripture is this this one by Paul:

Rom 1:20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, [even] his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:

I hope this helps a little. :)

Love to you and yours,

Darren

Kat:
Hi judie,

I came to Bibletruths a little before you and I too read and reread it all.
But like you I was very intimidated about reading the Bible on my own. 
But as I have found out, now it has become a wonderful source for inspiration. 
I am familiar with it from pass studies, but now there is a whole new understanding.

Everything is according to His purpose (Eph 1:11), but we are far from puppets.
It is throught life experiences that we are learning right from wrong.
We make choices all the time,  
He does bring about the circumstances that influence and cause us to make the choice. 
But at the time we make a voluntary choice, it was in our heart and mind to do so. 
So if our choice is wrong or sinful, we are held accountable,
and we will have to pay the penalty for sin.
If He is in us and we in Him, we are chastened by God.
Chastise is from the Greek word paideuo and it means to train up a child, educate, or
discipline (by punishment) chasten, (Heb. 12:6).
It is through these experiences that God is teaching us what we should be.

God works with us through prayer, because we must learn to go to Him for everything. 
He wants us to depend on Him. 
Even if it is all being worked out by Him, pray will build a strong bond,
as we will learn to turn to Him constantly.

Mat 7:7  "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
Act 17:27  God has done all this, so that we will look for him and reach out and find him. He isn't far from any of us,

Hope this helps.

mercy, peace, and love
Kat

dogcombat:
Judie,

EVERYONE has (and in some cases are still) gone through this.  I think God has begun the process of humbling you.  Believe me when I say it's a P-R-O-C-E-S-S.  He will start to purge you of the damnable heresies that have enslaved you for much of your journey.  What I reccomend you do is not to try to run from these trials, but to embrace Him in the midst of them.  He is your Heavanly Father, who knows and loves you better than anyone else ever has and ever will.  Be of Good Cheer for now, Cause GOD AIN'T THROUGH WITH YOU YET!! (Count on it.) 

What God is doing to you, is tearing down those idols of the heart that we've all held onto.  They were just illusions of security and were making you miserable.  Sure letting them go hurts, but in the long run, God will show you how much better off you will be without them. 

Ches

mongoose:

--- Quote from: hart4god on October 04, 2006, 11:04:59 AM ---It is so hard to break through. I feel at times that the Bible is beyond my comprehension now. That it is impossible for me to understand the deeper things. It is all so confusing. Yet, I know that all I ever wanted was to know the Truth, but I feel that I am at a standstill beacuse everything I thought was, is really not. I have had my eyes opened to Bible Truths probably since early March of this year.
--- End quote ---

As others have stated here, this is a long and sometimes hard process.  It takes time to unlearn all the lies the world teaches and replace them with God's truth.  I think we all have to learn a bit at a time otherwise our minds will just melt.  It is easy for me to get impatient and want it all now...but God doesn't seem to give it to us in a lump...I think we weren't designed to handle it this way.  I know it can be hard to understand and still harder to put into practice...but you can cease striving and fighting for the truth.  Rest a bit in Him and wait on Him.  Like YellowStone, I go out alone to be quiet and listen to God.  He seems to use that to soothe me and quiet my mind and it gives me peace and joy.  You'll learn, rest assured, He will finish the work He has begun in you.  It just takes time.


--- Quote ---Has any one been at this place? I feel frozen. and I am so utterly frustated and I am so completely confused about this life....
--- End quote ---

This is normal and we all go through it.  It seems to be part of the process of bringing one closer to Him.  Hurts and is hard to go through...but it does work.  It will get better...and then you'll likely go through another trial...and then it'll get better...


--- Quote ----is everything that happens in my life God's plan? are we puppets? chess pieces?
--- End quote ---

Yes, everything that happens in your life is God's plan.  I can understand why this may seem like we are "puppets" or "chess pieces"...but that's not really true.  It's hard to come to terms with the concept that we don't have free will.  After all, it seems to be the one thing that people everywhere agree on...and yet it's a lie.  I think of it this way...people create circumstances for their children where they have set everything up and then ask them to make a choice.  That isn't coming across well but perhaps you'll understand.  But, I see parents of young children do this all the time.  Put a simple choice in front of their kid and then use the choice they make as a lesson (yes, that is an excellent choice or well, these are the consequences of that..perhaps the other one would have been better).  That's how I think of God.  Like a parent dealing with a very young child.  He puts choices in front of us (and He does know what we are going to choose) and then He shows us through the circumstances that follow if it was the right one to make.  And we learn from our mistakes and our correct choices.  Does that make any sense?


--- Quote ----does prayer change anything besides my perspective? and does my perspective even matter?
--- End quote ---

Prayer is part of God's plan for you to learn His will and how He wants you to be.  I'm not sure about your first question...but it can (and often does) change your perspective (or at least it does mine).  And I think your perspective matters.  He is training us to live in harmony and according to His will.  That is all about perspective.  He is teaching us to see and live according to His perspective in a way.


--- Quote ----does God actively intervene- isn't eveything already set in stone?
--- End quote ---

This is also a tough and very good question.  But it isn't as black and white as either He intervenes or everything is set in stone.  God doesn't have to intervene because that suggests that He was not active at some given time and then returns to being active.  The truth is...everything at every minute is under God's direct and active control.  He knows how things are going to turn out because He planned it all from the beginning.  So, in a sense, everything is set in stone.  But...and this is a really big but...when you come to understand how and why this works, it isn't a reason for despair (as in...well, there's no hope because it all is predestined to turn out a certain way) but a reason for great joy.  That seems to be counter to what our human minds want to think though.  It is set in stone because God has it worked out perfectly, for our benefit.  It would be reason for despair if God didn't love us so much.  He knows exactly how to make this all work out so that all will be perfectly reconcilled to Him.  And so, He gently moves events and us so that we learn what we need to and He can make everything perfect in the end.


--- Quote ---One college class I took many years ago described a theology of God as the "watchmaker".
He wound up the world long ago and now it is ticking out its time......and he has no direct dealings with any of it. It is completely finished.....
--- End quote ---

That is a totally incorrect understanding of God that a lot of people seem to have.  He isn't some impartial being in some place in the sky.  Reminds me of a song..."the true King sits on His heavenly throne, neither away nor above nor afar.  With wisdom and mercy and constant compassion, He lives in the love that lives in our hearts".  God is ever present and ever active.  His love knows no bounds and it beyond all our imaginings.  And He is not only directly involved with the world, if He ever quit, it wouldn't exist.  And one day He will complete His work according to His will and all will be reconcilled and He will be All in All.


--- Quote --- I am feeling very hopeless about all things in this life and even in the world to come.
is this a normal process and will there be a breakthrough even though I cannot open the Bible right now?
--- End quote ---

It is a normal process and it'll likely happen again and again.  It seems especially bad when we first have to give up the illusion of free will...but comes again later.  There is, however, reason for great hope...Christ really is Good News for ALL people.  Keep seeking God...you will find Him for sure.  He has promised that and He always keeps His promises.


--- Quote ---sorry to sound so dumb- I have been afraid to ask any questions but I am getting no where on my own- and certainly no one I know really has any insight that is not linked into mainstream Christianity's doctrines. Yes, I do seek God, converse with Him, etc, and feel very consious of Him and desperately need Him at all times......I do want to know.
--- End quote ---
'

You don't sound dumb and I'm glad you asked your questions.  You say that you are concious of God and are aware that you desperately need Him...that comes from Him.  He is dragging you to Himself.  It's ok to feel unsure and to have doubts and be afraid.  Tell Him how you feel, and ask Him for comfort and understanding.  It'll come.  I have fought and tried to say no and all that...and I can't believe how far He has brought me already.  He has given me great joy and yet I still have lots of doubts and times of fear and despair.  We're all still works in progress and rest assured, you are far from alone.

Much love to you in Christ,

mongoose

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