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Author Topic: overcome wtih emotions  (Read 2062 times)

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Lacey23

  • Guest
overcome wtih emotions
« on: October 25, 2006, 01:07:25 AM »

Hi all,


I apologize for being like this. Currently,  I am overwhelmed wtih many kinds of emotions.  Jealousy, Happiness, exctiment, anger, etc.  it's all jumbled together.

A friend of mine- who is around my age, she got pregnant back in March, and she just had her baby today, it came early due to her cervix dilating... well back in April, when we found out she got pregnant, intially, I was kind of jealous because i've been trying for three years while it only took her like 2 months to get pregnant, through out the summer,  but i got over that and was very happy for her.   I asked for GOd's help, and He helped me  learn to accept that it isn't in my control at all and I finally stopped trying so hard, didn't really think about whether that month is the month or not.  Well this past month was something different. my persceptive on my infertiity suiation just changed,   i was like, I give up.  what's the point in trying to get pregnant, or even think about it. I got on with my life with that perceptive,   Well, just today, i found out that another friend, that i know, she just got married recently and is now announcing she is pregnant. Today, i thought about my friends getting pregnant, just getting pregnant like its candy. I wondered  why God wanted to put me thru this. I just wish I understood why.  I would very much to be a mom, either by adoption, or be a mother either way. its just God isn't opening the door for either of them yet. I would love to have a family of my own, I dont' talk to my own side of family much anymore, and having children would be great.  Its like giving them my love, my friends just seem to direct their love to thier own family and doesn't really have time for their friends, and I dont' really have a mom to share my love with, talk to my family- you know spending quality time with, I only have my husband to do that and I would love to have children to share my love with.     

I'm just frustrated,  I even stopped trying so hard, I've accepted that GOd is in control etc. I feel like I'm being punished for something. whatever it is.  my thoughts were being cruel to me right now, my thoughts just run thru my mind, saying, God is getting eeveryone else pregnant jsut to rub my face into it, and laugh at me, or just punishing me, for whatever I did.    I know that things happen for a greater purpose, for the greater good, but not to hurt us, but for our own benefit. I know that. its just when you long for a child, its hard. 

my interpreter at the school., she said she felt sorry for me, that i couldnt'  get pregnant, that i had to go thru wtih this, etc. she didn't say this  in  exact words,   but it kind of reminded me of my inferitlity and my desire to have a baby. I dreamt of my friend having a baby last night and then today, I found out she had the baby. my dream came true and later tonight, I found out another friend is having a baby.


It's really hard.. I dont' mean to sound like this, its just that I just wish i could get pregnant and get this over with but I know and am trying to remind myself that God does things for the greater good...... when we may not understand now, but we might one day, either in this age or the next.  Maybe God is just using me for something else. a different purpose but I just don't understand why God gave me the desire to have children if it's not in his WIll for me to have children. maybe he just want me ot learn to give it up 100 percent and stop desiring for a baby. I dont' know.  it's just breaking my heart right now.


I have nothing against my friends, or anything for that matter, It's just the feeling of jealousy, the feeling of frustration, etc that run thru me, and at the same time I'm really happy for them, I'm excited for them etc.  I am!!  it's just the feelings toward my suitation is all. I know the bible says- good things come to those who wait. It's easily said than done. you know?   

Please pray for me, Ask God to give me the strength and desire to please God, and do his Will according to his prupose, and to give me the strength and desire to learn  whatever God is trying to teach me.  Ask God to forgive me and help me with this.  That'll be great if you guys could do that for me... it'll be nice?  I'll need it.

Thanks!

Lacey


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ned

  • Guest
Re: overcome wtih emotions
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2006, 01:30:51 AM »

Psa 9:9-11 
The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.
And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee; for thou, Lord has not forsaken them that seek thee.
Sing praises to the Lord, which dwelleth in Zion: declare among the people His doings.

You're in my prayers Lacey.

Love,
Marie

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Alan

  • Guest
Re: overcome wtih emotions
« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2006, 07:16:29 AM »

Lacey,

Here is a scripture for you.....

Mat 6
 33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
 34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Keep your eyes on the spiritual and not the physical. You will be surprised what God will bless you with.

Your in my prayers as well.

Alan

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brothertoall

  • Guest
Re: overcome wtih emotions
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2006, 09:29:20 AM »

Lacey you are so very dear and I really admire you for posting that. I have a situation myself and trying to understand why all this has to happen.

 I will say a prayer for you today my dear sister and after reading that post of yours it has done much for me and I know this may sound silly, but it spoke to me and has blessed me.

Love to you,

bobby(bob)
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Kat

  • Guest
Re: overcome wtih emotions
« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2006, 11:58:25 AM »

Hi Lacy,

I think one of the strongest desire of a woman is to be a mother.
I had some problems getting pregnant at first,
it is excruciating seeing others with babies,
when you want one so badly.
You must put your faith in God and continually seek His help to get through this.
You do not know what He has in store for you,
so wait on Him with confidence that He will work things out for your best good.

Psa 73:26  My mind and my body may grow weak, but God is my strength; He is all I ever need.

Rom 8:28  And we know that he works all things together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

mercy, peace, and love
Kat

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buddyjc

  • Guest
Re: overcome wtih emotions
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2006, 01:08:28 PM »

Hello Lacey,

You are dear to all of us, and you won't have to go through this alone.  We are here for you.  I'm still praying for you Lacey, so hang in there.  It's all in God's timing, and His timing is the best timing.  The hardest thing is waiting.  I hate waiting, but God teaches patience by not giving you what you want WHEN you want it.  It's up to Him which means its out of your hands.  I would take comfort in that very thing.  All of us have things we need to just 'let go of,' (Right Bobby?). 

1Pe 5:6  Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
1Pe 5:7  Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.


Your Brother in Christ,
Brian
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YellowStone

  • Guest
Re: overcome wtih emotions
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2006, 01:21:10 PM »

Hi Lacy,

Dear Sister, please know that we are all here for you. Each of us has to bare our own cross and walk with Chrst, (Mat 16:24) each having a different walk from the next. But we are walking with Christ with a purpose, for just as Kat posted:

Rom 8:28 
  • And we know that he works all things together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.


We can know without question that his purpose is for our good. You will be in my prayers Lacy, that you will be strong in your faith, because with faith:

Rom 5:2, 4 
  • 2. By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
  • 3.  And not only [so], but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
  • 4. And patience, experience; and experience, hope:


With Love,

Darren
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Layla

  • Guest
Re: overcome wtih emotions
« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2006, 05:27:34 PM »

Hi Lacey

I don't believe that the Father is punishing you and I don't believe that you  believe the Father is punishing you.  I understand you are upset and your emotions are getting the best of you seeing as you have so much love to give to a  child.  Be at peace Lacey and know that the Father is going to give you a child to care for in His timing for He knows what is best. Please know I join with you and everyone of your borthers and sisters here in petitioning the Father to send you a little one to share your love with.

Peace,
layla
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Deborah-Leigh

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Re: overcome wtih emotions
« Reply #8 on: October 25, 2006, 06:36:22 PM »

Hi Lacey

I ask God to give you the strength and desire to please HIM. I believe God uses pain, frustration and every other evil that comes against us to soften us, to humble us and to ply us into the Image of Jesus.

I hear you and PLEASE deon't think or assume that I am being high handed here. After waiting 10 years alone, lonely I finally went and knelt down in the Church after taking the Communion, and went face up to God and said....Why have you made me into a pot without a lid!!! Why is there no one for me!!!  Kill me then. It is better to be dead than without love in my life! It is YOUR fault that I am here shouting at you. You have made me and I am a mistake of your creation!....Ohoo Lacey I was so fed up!  The priest saw me and told the Alter Boy to give me the remaining wine left over from the Communion. Iwas shocked! No one but God had heard me pray and He caused the Priest to give me the Chalace as much as saying.... OKay then....can you drink from my cup?
I was horrified. I drank not wanting to offend the Priest or raise any questions but my heart sank.....I felt very alone and miserable.

I now have a wonderful marriage that God has blessed me with. My point is...put all your love into your husband...put your focus on him....and I can only suggest this because I have met with another kind of pain....loneliness...I know what it is like to be lonely Lacey....Perhaps you should be looking at the dougnut and not the hole so much...Also, make every child you see, your child in your heart...Many children need Motherly love....you do not need to be biological you know...Be a Mother now by looking out how to be a blessing to Children in need, children suffering or simply children who are alone...Visit the childrens unit in a Hospital or an Orphanage and wipe a tear off some childrens cheaks who's gentlenss and sweetness can fill that aching void in you...or simply wait, and know God sees you and is working His plan and purpose in accordance to His Will.....lI know it is difficult...I know it is painful...It is okay to cry....

I pray that God eases your pain and grants you wisdom and peace....

Arcturus :)


PS   You may want to look at a piece of poetry posted by Kennymac on the Poetry Thread that starts out....pressed out....I think you will relate and find out you are not alone at all......
« Last Edit: October 25, 2006, 07:02:10 PM by Arcturus »
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lauraathome2005

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Re: overcome wtih emotions
« Reply #9 on: October 26, 2006, 01:12:49 PM »

Dear Lacey,
I don't know if my own experience will help to ease your pain, but I will anyway with that hope.

 I was not trying to have a child, nor did I WANT children of my own, but I also refused to use birth control.  Even at that time (more than 15 years ago), I knew and accepted that God was in control of my life and if I was to get pregnant it would be by HIS hand, and if I were not to get pregnant it would be by HIS hand.   When asked by others since I didn't use birth control, and I didn't want kids, what would I do if I got pregnant.  My answer was always "If I get pregnant I'll be happy and if I don't get pregnant I'll be happy."  I was also told by my dr. that I would have difficulty ever getting pregnant, which didn't bother me in the least!

My friends and family always asked me if I was ever going to have children and were surprised when I always replied that I wasn't PLANNING on having children.  They were surprised because they could see that I was good with children and that I truly loved those little ones (I always said "as long as they're not mine and I can give them back" was why I was so good with them!)

After I had missed my monthly for the 4th time, my husband finally begged me to pleeeeze get a pregnancy test (hormones were raging and I didn't know why!)  I was really afraid to take that test because I was acting really nuttie, and I thought "Oh my, what if I'm NOT pregnant?  Then that would mean I was losing my mind!"  Well, I did take the test, and at the age of 30, I found that I WAS pregnant.  I was happy just as I had always stated I would be.
However, hind-sight has also shown me that Father's timing is PERFECT.  HE knew when I was to have a child and HE knew what preparation I needed before, during and after. 

The preparedness to have a child comes from Him alone.  We may believe that we are ready or that we aren't ready for a thing, but when we surrender to Him with trust and faith that He and He ALONE KNOWS what's best for us, He will bless us.  We don't know what our future in this world holds, but HE does.  Trust Him and that He really does know what He's doing in your life.  Try to understand and remember that everything we do and pray for should be first for His glory and in agreement with Him and His overall plan (yes, having children affects His overall plan.)  Be at peace in your current situation and pray for patience and faith.  Understand that this desire of yours to have a child can (and sounds like it is) CONSUME you.  Place your focus back to Jesus Christ and the Kingdom FIRST and I'll bet you'll be pleasantly surprised at the rewards that will bring.  All my love and prayers, laura       
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