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[hillsbororiver]

Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
 
Stock up and save. Limit: one.

We build bodies that last a lifetime.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

[SandyFla]

They're all good, but this one really had me rollin'!!! 

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.