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mongoose:
Hi All,
   I just had something I wanted to share that I'm upset about.  So, there was this minister a long time ago who was inappropriate with me.  He spent years cultivating my trust and affection (I was a little kid at the time and he can be so sweet and charming) and then betrayed it all.  So, this guy is a friend of the family and they have always sided with him that he can do no wrong.  But they also know (and have acknowledged) that this is a problem, although apparently not enough of a problem to limit/monitor their child's contact with him.  It has been 4+ churches he has had to leave now, at least that I personally know about...as well as several other jobs.  Always with lies about why and then some form of the truth (as in, well, there were these wild accusations), always the same thing.

Well, he finally got something legal going against him but there are so many lies it's hard to tell what.  Anyway, it was couched as a law suit for the church breaking the contract by forcing him out, but there was something about how he couldn't leave town and was unable to be a minister until it was settled.  I was so happy that he was out and away from children and hopeful that it was permanent.  I am thinking it was not a civil suit but criminal charges.  I was hoping for jail time.  Anyway, he got off, so much for our "justice" system, and got all his back pay and now has been re-instated as a minister so he will be able to go find another congergation and mess up some more kids.  This makes me sick.  It's been going on for 20+ years now.  I didnt' do anything when I was a kid and I feel really bad sometimes because this disgusting person is still out there.  Of course, it wouldn't have worked since it would've been my word against his and my family's.

So, I'm very upset about this all.  But, on top of that, he now has my phone number and address and they are hoping we can all get together over the stupid holidays (sorry, I'm just not looking forward to all of this mess).   And he doesn't live far from me either now.  I deliberately didn't give him where I was although he has usually known when I moved because I'm just sick of all of this.  I went away for the weekend with my husband and didn't tell anybody and there were all these calls and people freaking out, like why would I do that?  And he had called and left a message too.  So I had a ton of messages and they were doing the whole martyr thing.   I just wanted to get away and don't feel like I should have to report my every move.  When I lived closer to my family they watched me all the time and now I'm away from that and I love it.  I've been on my own for 12+ years now and I just am so sick of all the bull.   I don't like being monitored by telephone any more than I liked being watched in person though.  I think they might be afraid of what I might say.  I don't know what to do.  I don't want to see him but I don't want to listen to my family either (who gave him my contact info) and they can be relentless.  I just don't want to get into all of it.  That part of my life is something I would never talk about with them and never have since they didn't believe me.  I dont' know what to do.  I just want all of them to go away...is that bad?

Anyway, I'm very upset and sad and feeling pretty down.  And I am so grateful to God for having me move so far away.  I really like it and it is so jarring for this to intrude again, especially when I'll be seeing everyone so soon.  If anyone has advice or some words of wisdom, I'd really appreciate it.

I love all my dear family here.  Thank you,

mongoose

Rene:
Mongoose,

My heart goes out to you.  The only thing I can suggest is to pray, pray, pray, pray, pray and pray.   I say this because if you are anything like me, when I am the most distressed over a matter, I seem to just want to crawl under the covers and not deal with anything at all.  However, this is when we need to pray the most and trust that the Lord will help us get through this trying time.

I care about you and I will be praying for you as well.

Rene'

longhorn:
Mongoose.  I say poison the *******.

Love in Christ

Longhorn

rrammfcitktturjsp:
Mongoose,

  I have a few words to say on this one.  Yes it is sad with how the world judges morals and with what things people can get away with today. 

  What helps is to remember that all actions will catch up with people someday, if not on this earth then when we get judged.  Again this goes back to the free will, as sick as this sounds, God has a plan for him and things are happening in this sick person's life to lead him to where he needs to go.  Do I condone what he has done to children and what he has done in you and your family's life, heck no.  If it was up to me, I would strike him down with lightening where he stands, [NOTE:  It's a very good things I am not GOD ;D].  The story is not over until God says it is.  This is the only thing I can think to say with regards to this paragraph.

  Secondly,  please, please let him know how you feel.  Do not let anyone run you and your lives and bring stress and discord into your home.  I was told by a very good friend some things that have to do with this.  I have a few people in my life that are trying to control it and I feel that I have to report everything that I do to them.  1.  Tell this minister how you feel.  2. If it makes you uncomfortable with him at your house, tell him so.  I know that this next part sounds cruel, but please think on it.  3.  There are 2 things they can do to no 1-2, a. become bitter and ticked off with you, or 2 accept it and move on.  My friend has a motto, If they do not like it, feed them fisheads.  This is in reference to people that are not condcive to peace, trust, and a good relationship.

  Please do not jeopardize your holiday or your private home.  Have his number blocked or do something of that nature.  Put roadbloaks up so to speak. 

  I will be praying for you.  I do agree with longhorn's post, poison him, but unfortunately that is highly illegal and immoral.  So I tell you what I am going to do, I am going to pray that God gets a hold of him, and believe me God can really hit you where it hurts.

  Have a great holidays and keep us updated.

  Sincerely,


  Anne C. McGuire

Michele:
Mongoose,
This is M, you already know my story.  I know how it feels to be abused and then have your family try to make you pretend like it wasn't that big of a deal or in other words "just get over it" so they can go on in their own lives as if it never happened.  It's unconscionable!

Whatever you do Please don't let your family, whom you have previous problems with anyway, Guilt you into doing ANything that makes you feel uncomfortable!  Most especially DO Not let this manipulator anywhere near you!  The people who take advantage, use and abuse children for their own sick gratification are counting on the fact that their manipulative "charm" factors keep working on the families and children they abused so they will be allowed to keep on keeping on with their sick deeds.  YOU have to take care of YOU.  I know how it feels when you've been abused as a young child, you tend to revert right back to that mindframe even if you are a grown person now and this makes it easier for people to browbeat you.  Our own families have tremendous psychological powers over us, even if they don't deserve to have such powers.  It may be necessary to part ways with them if they are causing us even more harm.

I know Jesus wants us to forgive, but unfortunately that doesn't mean you can forget it and that also doesn't mean that you have to let this snake in the grass anywhere near you ever again no matter what your "family" says!  THey are not you. They obviously don't have your best interests at heart or else they would never ask you to be in the presence of the person who harmed you!

I say pray, and then do what your heart of hearts says to do...and it won't be to sacrifice yourself just to appease your family.  You do what Mongoose needs, to protect that child inside of you that deserves your consideration first and foremost.



PM me if you want to talk.

Love to you,
M

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