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Robin:
Mongoose,
I'm sorry your family isn't standing behind you on this. You don't need to see this man again or have any relationship with him. You don't have to answer his calls or talk to him. If God wants something different he will surely let you know. I don't think God causing evil in our lives means we need to put ourselves in harms way.
I've seen God bring healing in circumstances like this, but there was remorse and repentance involved. It doesn't sound like this man is in that place right now. I think keeping yourself separate from him in that situation is ok. It must be very hard for you when your family is putting so much pressure on you. It's ok to say no.
I'll be praying for you.
Hugs,
MG
brothertoall:
Mongoose you are very dear to me my friend. God does give us choices and you can make this choice. No one and I mean absolutely no one can make you do something you do not want to do!!
I would not go within 20 miles of that man! Family or no family and I would be straight forward with your family and I would tell them all. They will either accept it or they will try to deny it but you know in your heart what the truth is.
If you must go and be with your family and this man is present I would take him off alone and tell him just exactly what you feel.
If there are going to be other children around this man I would watch him like a hawk!! If and when he does try to go alone with one of the children take one of your so called loving family members with you and maybe just maybe you can catch this man in the act.
I personally can take anything God throws at me as an adult, but I do not believe God wants us to just sit back and do nothing when it comes to abusing a child. I would be this man's worst nightmare. I would not even let him go to the bathroom without me standing outside the door waiting for him to come out.
I would be there when he eats, when he gets out of bed,when he talks on the phone, when he talks to anyone.
I would let him know that if he even as much as touched one single hair on any children I would be right there.
I know many of you here may think after reading this that it just does not sound like me BUT when it comes to hurting a child there are no rules with me!! A child is defenceless and frightened when these things happen to them and when an individual does these sick things to a defenceless child I will ultimately LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR THAT CHILD!!!
Be tough Mongoose and let this man know that as long as you are around that if he even thinks of doing anything to you or a child that is present that you will do everything in your God given power to make sure he will be stopped!!
Oh this makes me angry and I hope this falls under " Be angry and sin not".
I will be praying for you and I will also pray that this man is found out and hope that aslo falls under " Be sure your sin will find you out".
Love to you my dearest sister,
bobby
hillsbororiver:
--- Quote from: M.G. on December 19, 2006, 07:05:21 AM ---
I've seen God bring healing in circumstances like this, but there was remorse and repentance involved. It doesn't sound like this man is in that place right now. I think keeping yourself separate from him in that situation is ok. It must be very hard for you when your family is putting so much pressure on you. It's ok to say no.
--- End quote ---
Hi Mongoose,
It is amazing how many of us here have been affected by sexual predators, this crime is certainly one of the most insidious evils that one human being can impose on another, it is an evil that can keep on giving, pain, sorrow, guilt and a loss of self worth throughout a person's life.
That this person hasn't asked for forgiveness and bitterly repented means that this contact he desires is only a search for self validization (his not yours) and MG is right on in saying that you do not owe him this opportunity.
It saddened me to read that your family is not supporting you on this, my advice would be to quietly and politely decline any contact with this person to any and all of them, be firm in your decision yet gentle with your words, for some reason they are blinded to this and the real pain you have suffered because of it.
Remember the story of Joseph and the evil he experienced because of the callousness of his family, yet he never uttered a condemnation of them and when they repented he forgave them.
Dear Sister you will be in my prayers.
His Love and Peace to you,
Joe
mongoose:
Thanks for your replies and your prayers. I really could use them right now. I really can't tell you all how much I appreciate the love and support here. Believe me, Longhorn's thought used to cross my mind on a regular basis...but I'm sure THAT is not what God wants. It's His to take care of....I know. :-X Repentence is definitely not looming on the horizon as far as I can tell...only lies and denial.
I wish I wasn't so afraid to just tell my family that they need to drop this but, although I am sure that they know (especially my sibling who actually saw it happening), I also dont' think they can handle it. And despite the fact that I'm an adult and have been away for awhile, I'm still afraid of them. I grew up thinking one day, any day, they were going to flip out and kill me and I guess that's just never quite gone away. I hope God gives me the strength and words to tell them I'm not interested in seeing him any more in the right way. I really don't want to go see any of them. My family is here and a few friends scattered here and there, and of course, my dear sweet wonderful husband. I thank God for you all every day.
Love in Christ,
mongoose
skydreamers:
Hi Mongoose, my heart goes out to you. I agree with everything everyone else has said. The emotions on something like this run very high indeed. We simply can't understand what is going on with a person who is capable of molesting a child. I was abused by my father when I was very young but it was brief as thankfully my mom divorced and left him shortly after (though for other reasons as she never knew). Even though I have no contact with him and in my heart I felt like I had forgiven him many years ago, it wasn't until I came to Christ that I realized for me there was another step:
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
Romans 12:14 NASB
I had forgiven him but he certainly was not in my prayers as someone I wanted God to bless! For some reason this was a major turn around for me as I struggled to honestly do this. It was so hard, but slowly God gave me the ability and the first time I prayed for him I felt a sense of freedom and release of stuff I didn't even know was there.....I guess where I thought I had put it behind me I had really just been numb. I don't know if this is a step you have taken, but if not, consider praying for this man and for the family members who are not on your side. This truly is harder than the abuse itself, at least it was for me. But there is so much more healing yet to come for you and this man. A real eye opener for me as well was Ray's talk on how this kind of thing, where he basically said it is only by the grace of God that WE are not that molestor!! Wow, that was scary to see that beast in me, but also incredibly humbling and able to bring me to an even deeper level of loving those who seem to hate and hurt us.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
Romans 12:15 NASB
I will be weeping with you in spirit, until you can rejoice again. And then we can all rejoice together!
Peace and love to all, Diana
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