Susan,
Thanks for notifying me by phone that this post was up. I finally got my son's jumparoo and peek a dome put together. He is asleep and does not know they are in the living room. I can hardly wait until he gets up.
I may modify my post a lot so check it out in the few days.
It is a fine line that you are being asked to walk here. Yes by all means apologize to them. The Scripture that says if you remember you have something to resolve with your brother, go, leave your ofering, and make things right with your brother, and then come back and worship me. To those of you who know Scripture better than I do, I apologize for my slaghtering of it. [NOTE: I have a good memory of the gist of Scriptures but have no idea how to recite them verbatim as well as tell you where they are. I would appreciate if someone could post where this Scripture is coming from]. The thing that I think is bugging you the most is the fact that you have not apologized for your actions. Please, please by all means apologize for the things that you KNOW you have done. If in your heart you know you did it apologize for it Ask their forgiveness.
I have recently have problems with my family and this is how I resolved it. I called and asked for their forgiveness after a heartful and soulful apology. Their were many tears and laughs exchanged, but I then ended the conversation with, Let NOT my words speak for me, but let my ACTIONS speak. It has been a long ardous road that has taken much time, but it is so worth it. Both circumstances they told me that they wanted me to apologize and ask for their forgiveness. They were pleased that I wanted to base my apology off of my actions rather than words. If you have patience and the stamina for this method, this will mean so much to them. I find out with this method that people are all the more forgiving.
As for them thinking whether this is an oppourtunity for you to preach to them that is just a normal human tendency to use the past to cloud present and future times. Yes your past record shows this, but your actions will surely show that you have changed from the person that you were in the past. They will see this, though it may take weeks, monthes, or even years.
God's intention for our family is that we will all eventually get together whether that be in this time or in eternity. God's will is perfect, though our understanding of his will is imperfect. Just pray for them and Let Go, and Let GOD.
I thought it was quite funny that I was reciting several responses to your post to you on the phone before I had finished reading the post. As several of those responses are personal, I will leave those out. I will post and remodify this post as I am felt led to. We will talk about this some more tonight.
Much love and prayer for your family,
Anne C. McGuire