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Author Topic: Quotes on Pets  (Read 2705 times)

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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Quotes on Pets
« on: January 26, 2007, 11:26:01 AM »

 
 
 "In dog years I'm dead"
--Unknown

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a
dog, it's too dark to read."
--Groucho Marx.

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
--Aldous Huxley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that
is how dogs spend their lives."
--Sue Murphy

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul--chicken, pork, half a cow.they must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
--Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
--Rita Rudner

"If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one."
--Andy Rooney

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
--Joe Weinstein

"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant."
--Unknown

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
--Nora Ephron

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
wonderful."
--Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and
get used to the idea."
--Robert A. Heinlein

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should
have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
--Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
--Ben Williams

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
--Roger Caras

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
--Edward Abbey

"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it
look like the dog did it."
--Unknown

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.."

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does."
--Christopher Morley

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
--Andrew A. Rooney

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion"
--Unknown

"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it."
--Abraham Lincoln

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite
you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
--Mark Twain

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
--Smiley Blanton


 
 
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rrammfcitktturjsp

  • Guest
Re: Quotes on Pets
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2007, 02:43:05 PM »

Joe,

  I like the one about you sometimes feel like you are the dog or the hydrant.

  The one where it says there is no better pyschiatrist than a puppy giving you kisses I will have to concurr.  I always love Sassy's kisses and her jumping for joy.  Man what a joy and my problems seem to melt away and I can always get them out of the "crisis" mode into the mode that they can be solved.

  Thanks for posting these. 

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire
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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Re: Quotes on Pets
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2007, 02:53:59 PM »



  The one where it says there is no better pyschiatrist than a puppy giving you kisses I will have to concurr.  I always love Sassy's kisses and her jumping for joy.  Man what a joy and my problems seem to melt away and I can always get them out of the "crisis" mode into the mode that they can be solved.

 

Hello Anne,

So true, the following is an article about a study that was done about how pets have such a powerful and positive effect on the health of their owners, this may not apply to pet alligators.............. here is the article;


  Do dogs provide health benefits? Believe it or not they do! Did you know that owning a dog and pet ownership in general, can help a person in many ways? Owning a pet can improve your mental wellness, reduce your visits to the doctor, improve your cardiovascular health and allow for faster recovery time from surgery as well as higher survival rates. Recent research suggests that dogs may be able to detect cancer on a person's breath! Lets' explore these amazing health benefits of pet ownership:

It has been proven that dog owners have lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels than non-dog owners. These factors, in turn, reduce the chance of cardiovascular diseases. In fact, just stroking a pet has long been known to reduce blood pressure. Furthermore, a study from the New York State University concluded that these benefits continue even without the pet being present!

Hospital studies have shown that senior citizens and recent post-op patients respond better to treatment and recover faster while in contact with dogs and other therapy animals. Did you know that dog owners have a greater chance to survive a serious illness than non-dog owners? In fact, a study revealed that a pet affected a person's survival rate even more than the presence or company of family members or friends!

Studies conducted at Cambridge and UCLA concluded that there is a direct correlation between pet ownership and improved overall health, which leads to fewer visits to the doctor. The Journal of American Geriatrics Society notes that pet ownership has a positive effect on a senior's physical and emotional well being. Additionally, a Medicare study of elderly patients also shows that people who own a dog have fewer doctor visits than patients who do not.

Pet owners have better emotional health and mental wellness than people who do not own a pet. Pets offer unconditional love and affection and their presence alone helps reduce loneliness. For people who are isolated, disabled or handicapped, a pet offers friendship and can even add a element of safety to their lives. Dogs are used as a form of therapy in hospices, nursing homes and as companions for the disabled and blind. In fact, there are studies that prove that people with a major illness fight the stress of having the illness better by having a dog as a pet.

There is new research that suggests that dogs may be able to detect certain types of cancer. Researchers at the Pine Street Foundation in San Anselmo, California and the Polish Academy of Sciences exposed dogs to breath samples from breast and lung cancer patients and samples from healthy people. They claim that the dogs were able to detect cancer with astonishing results and accuracy. The dogs were able to identify 99% of lung cancer breath samples (which included early stage cancer patients) as well as 88% of breast cancer samples. The study, which has been met with skepticism, will be released early in 2006 and published in the March edition of the Journal for Integrative Cancer Therapies. Experts agree that this holds promise, but must be evaluated and researched further.

As you can see pet ownership or having a dog comes with many benefits for an individual. Owning a pet encourages social interaction, reduces stress levels, boosts self-confidence and self-esteem and encourages exercise. Having a pet is a great investment, not only in the joy and pleasure that the animal brings into your life, but the many health benefits that come with the territory!
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rrammfcitktturjsp

  • Guest
Re: Quotes on Pets
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2007, 10:54:43 PM »

Joe,

  SO glad that the medical community has figured out what we on the non medical community already knew.  I love dogs.

  One of these days I am going to get a dog for our familly.  My son loves dogs already.

  THanks for sharing this.

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire
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gmik

  • Guest
Re: Quotes on Pets
« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2007, 11:15:02 PM »

Hi.  Those quotes are great!  I love it and believe it to be true....an average dog is nicer than an average person!

When I come home from work my shih tzu "jackee chan" runs, yelps, leaps, licks, and will not stop for five minutes in welcoming me home!
My hubby yells in from the family room, "hi hon", and goes back to reading the paper!!!

gena ;D
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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: Quotes on Pets
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2007, 06:42:02 AM »

Some really good one's in there Joe  8) ;D

What's the difference between a dog and a cat?  When you call a dog it will come to you immediately and a cat will take a message and get back to you later!

Peace to you

Arcturus :)
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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Re: Quotes on Pets
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2007, 10:26:14 AM »

LOL!  :D

I like that Arcturus, how true. Here is another difference between a cat and a dog;

How to give a cat a pill

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb one either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm-holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse/partner from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse/partner to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse/partner to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey to compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw blooded T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Ring fire department to retrieve the cat from tree across road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. You can be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 4 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to accident and emergency dept, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearms and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.


How to give a dog a pill

1. wrap something to eat round it.

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iris

  • Guest
Re: Quotes on Pets
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2007, 11:08:48 AM »

 ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D

Joe, that was too funny!!!



Iris











































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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: Quotes on Pets
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2007, 12:43:01 PM »

 ;D  ;D ....what a picture!   ;D
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hebrewroots98

  • Guest
Re: Quotes on Pets
« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2007, 02:25:43 AM »

Yep, I am definately a dog person. 
We have a 9 yo bassett hound-her name is Sadie Lou; she is our lowrider ;)   Then there is Buddy- he's a tall male, 9 month old mixed breed puppy and he's all black.  He thinks he's tiny and he will try to stand tall and put his front paws on me.  lol.  I like the quote by Lincoln.

Once while working at the local hospital, I walked into a patients' room and announced myself as I approached the little elderly lady whom was sitting up in bed and wrapped up to her chest in blankets, when much to my surprise,  a little tiny head popped out of the covers that were on the woman and this thing started barking ferociously at me; it threw me totally off guard.  I stopped in my tracks after being startled.  It was a little chuahua puppy.  The nurses heard the noise and rushed to the room; her elderly sister was so embarrassed, (as she was the one whom snuck the little puppy  into her sisters hospital room.)  Of course the sister kept saying..."I told you that they would notice the dog..." thus, she had to take the dog home and it broke the womans' heart.  The dog was then tucked deep  inside of the tote bag to be carried off to the house. :( :(   

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SandyFla

  • Guest
Re: Quotes on Pets
« Reply #10 on: January 29, 2007, 03:27:23 PM »

Joe,

The one about sometimes being the dog and other times being the fire hydrant is hilarious!!!  :D It reminds me of a cartoon where a guy is sitting under a tree branch. He looks up, sees a bird right above his head and says, "Go ahead -- everyone else does it." LOL

I also agree with how to give cats a pill vs. the dog. I tried the pill popper with Bethany. By the third time she was wise to it. Even if I get the pill in her mouth, she will hold it there until I let her go, then it flies! LOL! I've been giving it to her on smashed on cheese. So far that has worked. She doesn't get it all, but most is better than nothing.

Sandy
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hillsbororiver

  • Guest
Re: Quotes on Pets
« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2007, 09:57:57 PM »

Thanks Sandy,

I can relate to these as well because of the experiences my own dogs and cats have put me through over the years, they are such a blessing our furry friends.

Joe
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