How to Give a Cat a Bath

[hillsbororiver]

1. First .... dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.

2. A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 2.5 seconds.

3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area before hand. No ... blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.

4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.

5. Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire... the cat barely notices you anyway.

6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom ... speed is essential. In one single liquid motion shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he's madder than a wet hornet.

7. As best, you can, wearing welder's gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.

8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slide down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.

9. Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.

10. Next, the cat must be dried. No...this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat  reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.

11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.

12. Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door ... put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly. Into tub, if possible, and do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.

13. In about 2 hours .... it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

Joe,

  I did not know that cats were able to be bathed.  I tried once and got pretty scratched over it a great deal.  That was my first and last time bathing a cat.  But that is pretty much how you would bathe a cat.

  Sincerely,




  ANne C. McGuire

[hillsbororiver]

Hi Anne,

I remember someone once comparing this to arguing with their mother in law,  "It is kind of like giving a cat a bath, it can be done but nobody comes out of it feeling like a winner."

Joe

[Kat]

That was funny Joe, but this just may top that one 


Bathing the Cat
Following are instructions on the best way to bathe your cat:

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Don't get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,

The DOG

Bet you didn't guess who was doing it until the end 

mercy, peace, and love
Kat

[hillsbororiver]

 

Kat,

You are right, that was even better, I actually think that plan just might work! 

Thank you,

Joe

[Deborah-Leigh]

  

A picture paints a thousand words! What a picture........

Peace to you

Arcturus

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

Kat,

  Got one more to add to yours.  Shut the seat lid becuase you know that cat cannot drown and then flush.   

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire

[jennie]

My daughter and her new little husband have a cat named after Jimi Hendrix. She calls him their suicidal cat! He has taken to somehow getting up on the shower curtian rod and walking it while my daughter is in the bath. He has fallen in a couple of times and just sits there like nothing has happened. he also has taken a dunking in the toilet bowl, been closed up in their clothes dryer and even gotten into the fridge! I think they should start filming him, send the tape in and win a bunch of money! Much love and laughs to all, Jennie

[iris]

I agree, WHAT A PICTURE!!!     

I laughed until I cried!
Those poor little kitties.
My cats are to big to fit into the tolit, with the lids down.

Thanks guys for the laugh..  

Iris

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

Iris,

  LOL.  bigger toilets to work wonders.  <WEG>

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire

[joyful1]

 
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahhahahaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you guys crack me up!
So true though...so true! Joyce 

[SandyFla]

Oh boy ... I've got to give my 2 kitties baths tonight. We've got a flea infestation. Their flea meds aren't working anymore, so I'm gonna hafta switch to another brand.

The first time I gave Twinkles (pictured now in my avatar) a bath, she was mad and let me know it. When we finished, she wouldn't look at me. She sat on the couch with her back toward me. When I'd move, she'd move so she wouldn't have to look at me. LOL! I swear she's half human.

Sandy

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

Sandy,

  Make sure you close the lid of the toilet before flushing.   

  Best of luck to you tonight.

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire

[a_child_of_God]

LOL Sandy!!! I love the cat's name. My brother's cat used to act that way as well. If she was mad at David, she'd let him know.

Have a wonderful day everyone!!

Ruth

[PKnowler]

Oh man that was hilarious! ROTFL Funny!   

I could just picture it as you were telling about it.
I liked both versions Joe's and Kat's.

That was laugh out loud funny!   

Thanks for the fun! 

~Paula

[jennie]

Now don't ya'll throw rocks at me yet because I do love all my animals. Our cats(2) live inside and I do give them bubble baths from time to time. I run the water , hold their paws and do the "washing machine" with them. When I get them out I wrap them up in a towel to dry them and to protect me! I have learned they don't like being blow dried so now I just towel dry them and they sit in front of the fireplace until they are dry.

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

Jennie,

  Awwww.  That's cute.  I got a question how do you do a "washer machine" with a cat.  Sorry I cannot picture this.

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire

[jennie]

Well , when you pick them up you lift them normally but put their back paws together in one hand and their front paws in the other hand. When you get them in the water you swish them back and forth and sort of around. Ours have long hair and that's the only way I have found to get all the wash water through their fur and then get it backout again.

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

Jennie,

  Now that was hilarious, and your cat does not mind.  Wow.  That's a pretty creative way of bathing the little creatures.  If I get one, I shall try your method first, and the the dog's method. 

  Sincerely,



  Anne C. McGuire

[jennie]

My Michael, Heather and Brandon all laugh their heads off when I do this. I use rose bubble bath so they smell good afterwards!