RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

[Snowfire]

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
     little beverage, good food and companionship.
     She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
    Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....
    but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
    anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric
    bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
    there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
    Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
    for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
      first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
     I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

.... and yes, I'm a guy ... and no, I don't agree with everything posted above.  I love my Wife DEARLY.      Ricky

[iris]

Funny!!!!!!!!!!      



Iris

[Deborah-Leigh]

Some folks just cann't win!    and I am sure that those sentiments are some of many that frustrate men in marriages....

   

[gmik]

Those are funny!!!  I always loved Red!  Thanks Ricky.

[Brett]

Yep, marriage always end up those things is because of "EVE" started. OOPS! Did I say that???


                                   Just KIDDY!!!




Brett

[rick]

My wife told me if i didnt get off this computer that i wouldnt see her for a week. but that wasnt true because after just a couple of days, I could see her a little bit out of one eye.................

I have always heard it said that God created the world and then rested, and then He created man and rested, then He created woman and since then neither God nor man has rested...........

all kidding aside, a woman is a gift from God. especially one whom a mans heart can safely trust in!!!!!!

[gmik]

 

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

To All,

  I am wondering if there is ever such a thing called a perfect marraige.  Nothing on this side of eternity is perfect.  What is your opinion?  But it was a great thread.  Gave me a few laughed this morning.

  Looks like I am not getting sleep in trying to get some stuff done.  Pray for me today, that I do not lose patience.

  Sincerely,




  Anne C. McGuire

[Deborah-Leigh]

I have a per...perrrr...perrrrr....perfect marriage!

[rrammfcitktturjsp]

  and one more for the road Arcturus 

  Sincerely,


  Anne C. McGuire