I remember walking home. From where, I dont remember. I was only about 10 or so. I am 42 now.
The Lord spoke to my spirit (this was about 10 years or so before I was converted) and said, plain as day, that He had something He wanted me to do. But, He wouldn't tell me what it was. Oddly enough, it didnt aggravate me like it would have if another person told me this. It fired me up. I told the Lord that He had permission to do to me whatever he wanted. (Not that He needed that, but I was only a kid). That was my first experience with the Lord, that I knew of.
Fast forward through a less than pleasant childhood. I went to church, but it was nothing special. I'd rather have gone fishing. It wasnt that I was uninterested in the things of God, it's that they werent being taught.
One day I was house sitting for my Uncle and Aunt while they were on vacation. I was about 22 or so. Drink a few beers, watch a little TV, and relax alone for a while. I spent more time there than I did at home.
I was there one morning, and was flipping thru the channels, and I stopped on Jimmy Swaggarts program.
For some reason
I started to cry. Now, I am not what you would call a crybaby. Not by a long shot. But the more I tried to fight it, the more I cried. I thought I was going nuts. I really tried to stop. I couldn't stop.
Then I said "OK God. You got me".
I tried to go back to church, but I never, not one time, did I feel comfortable there. So I stopped going.
This really bothered me. I wanted so desperately to know God, but I didn't know where or how to start, so I started to read the Bible myself.
Then the backsliding started.
Partying, strip clubs, getting involved in things I had no business being involved in.
Then, one time I was at a strip club, I did not have a good time. I was depressed. I was wondering just what I was doing there, and what could have possibly been going thru my head to even be in that setting.
I havent been that down, before or since. It was like being around death.
That is when I returned to my first love. Backsliding now is unthinkable.
I was still alone. I didnt go to any institutional church. I knew what they were like and I wanted nothing to do with them.
I did a lot of searching. I was involved in some really strange things. Strange people with strange doctrines.
i think I did it beause I knew that mainstream Christianity (churchianity) was wrong. So I decided to go out of the mainstream. I sure did go overboard, though.
But thru it all, there was this still, small voice telling me that things were not all right, and that something was majorly wrong with them and their doctrines. David Icke and his reptilians, new age "etheric warriors", serpent seed doctrine, etc. Put on your tinfoil hat and you wont have to search for things like this, because things like this will find
you. Some of the things I read and saw weren't really tinfoil subjects though. Sometimes, they would try to explain away the more troubling teachings of churchianity instead of facing them head-on.
Then I found this site. Everything I knew was wrong about mainstream churchianity was explained. You all see the very same things I see.
That's it, in a nutshell.