I just have this weird feeling since coming out of the church.

[mrsnacks]

I really don't know how to put it. But especially in the past year I have been feeling strange. It is like basically everything I believed has been turned on it's head especially in the past 7 months. It has been a process but has escalated in the speed of light in less than a year. Holding to views like free will, hell, and so much more and then not believing these false doctrines anymore has left me feeling strange.

I then go to church ( the building ) not because I approve, but God has used me to reach a few people there and they are coming out of the church. Otherwise I was going to drop out and not attend. Just didn't feel like I belonged but I care about the people there. But when I go and it is like I have a new set of eyes. I see people there that are wearing masks. I see that most aren't satisfied living their lives like they are pretending that they are. It is not a feeling but more something deeper than that in my spirit.

As I have talked to a few in deep open conversation - I know that I am right.
I also sense this from the clergy there.

I ask this here to see if anyone can put a handle of what I am going through. It is like waking up the next morning and finding yourself in a different bed in another country.

So I have learned and still getting from God's hand His truths but then what. Is it just more learning. I feel free but then a little lost. 

[bambam]

mrsnacks,
   I know exactly how you feel, except maybe I am still trying to come to terms with the truth.  I have a mixture of emotion-I feel like someone gouged a hole out of me, but I feel thrilled and excited at the same time.  Does that make sense.
   My beliefs have also been turned on end-everything is not as it was-yet I am excited to keep learning new things and finding out more and more. 
   I walk into church and I honestly don't want to be there except for the fact that there are so many wonderful people there and some of them are my close friends.  I also feel like people are wearing masks-I felt that way a long time before I came to Bible truths and it caused, among other things, much depression in me.  But now that I know the truth and it makes so much more sense than before I see them in a totally different light!  Like you, I care about them as well.  I have not told anyone about what I have learned yet-but I hope I get the chance to sometime.
  Oh, it's so hard to explain the whole church thing!!  But I understand what your saying.  Last night a little girl got "saved", and all the workers were so excited about it and I just had to kind of fake my excitement.  Having to do that at this point kind of makes my stomache turn.  In the past(before Bible truths), I noticed how people can be at church and be well versed in some scripture and know all about what Christians are and and how they should act, but the ability to talk to these people one on one about the things of God was almost non-existent.  It bothered me alot.  But I see now that they honor God with their lips and their hearts are far from Him.

Coming completely out is going to be very painful for me, but I know if God drags me out, then I will go.

Just know that you are not alone in this feeling strange thing.  I love and care for these people very much, and I also have a new set of eyes-but what to do about it at this point-I have to wait for God to do it-because I have no clue!!!

Blessings to you!  Great question!
Beth     

[hillsbororiver]

Hi mrsnacks & April,

It does sound like you both are sharing a "Gershom" type experience. 

Having never really been a fully committed member of a church as many (my wife included) have been I do not have the fond memories or emotional attachments that I am sure can be an internal tug of war, my own battle has been worldliness itself, not the church world, I mean the secular world of gain, pleasure and selfishness but as I learn more and more the differences between the two systems seem blurred at best.

I too missed my friends and what we once shared but I am less inclined to seek them out any longer taking comfort in the fact that God has planned for them as He has for us and He will ultimately bring us all together once again. When He does (in His time) it will be a glorious and perfect reunion!

Praise Him!

Joe

[Evan600]

I really don't know how to put it. But especially in the past year I have been feeling strange. It is like basically everything I believed has been turned on it's head especially in the past 7 months. It has been a process but has escalated in the speed of light in less than a year. Holding to views like free will, hell, and so much more and then not believing these false doctrines anymore has left me feeling strange.

I then go to church ( the building ) not because I approve, but God has used me to reach a few people there and they are coming out of the church. Otherwise I was going to drop out and not attend. Just didn't feel like I belonged but I care about the people there. But when I go and it is like I have a new set of eyes. I see people there that are wearing masks. I see that most aren't satisfied living their lives like they are pretending that they are. It is not a feeling but more something deeper than that in my spirit.

As I have talked to a few in deep open conversation - I know that I am right.
I also sense this from the clergy there.

I ask this here to see if anyone can put a handle of what I am going through. It is like waking up the next morning and finding yourself in a different bed in another country.

So I have learned and still getting from God's hand His truths but then what. Is it just more learning. I feel free but then a little lost. 

I must say that I know how you feel as well.  It wasn't long after I discovered these 'mysteries' that I was really sickened by church.  I told the Bishop and head Pastor that I just couldn't go along with this anymore.  I also spoke with many others about this.  I was told however NOT to mention these things to others in the church.  This was a very hard thing to do, and I kind of justified to myself being able to talk to others about it by saying that "I would try not tell anyone."  That ended up bad.

Soon I realized that I just had to leave.  The Bishop and Pastor had a "two on one" with me for about 2 hours.  That was a horrible time.  I just believed that it was not me speaking.  I was at a time where I just didn't know what to think about anything.  I still feel this way a lot.  I used to minister in the jail, and now I don't.  I felt as if I should just take time and seek God, and let Him show me, and give me understanding.  I honestly just don't know what to think about anything so much.  Leaving everything you know...for what?  We always want to DO something.  Ya know what I mean?  It is for the truth of God, that Jesus may be known.  I just couldn't bear with hearing that stuff on Wed. and Sun. anymore.  It was like fingernails going down a chalk board.  It still is if I listen to it.  When I talk to people I go to church with about God, that turns out to be soooo uncomfortable.  There is that 'church herd' mentality.  It makes me cringe.

Anyway, I'm rambling, but I know where you're coming from.  I guess we pray, and seek God, and Lord willing, the peace that passes ALL understanding will guard us. 

It is like waking up the next morning and finding yourself in a different bed in another country.

I know what you mean here as well.  Of course, I may be little different in this regard as well.  I've had a problem with 'church' for a long time, even before God started to open my eyes.  It was just like the light got brighter.  I mean REALLY bright all at once.  I was always labled 'rebellious' because I had so many questions, and problems with 'doctrine.'  I just thought I was supposed to go for some reason.  Always felt like on the outside looking in.  Then came the time to just pack it up.  THANK GOD!!!!!

You'll make it my friend!!  Know this for sure!

God bless,

Jason

[GODSown1]

mrsnacks!,
              wow! u r so ryte, u hit it on da Head! I feel xactly az Urve put it, Im jus glad sum1 write it, coz I couldntve put it n e better lol!, GODS inCONTROL!.
              muchLOVE! Pera

[GODSown1]

OhH! sorry! & U Bambam uz r not alone believe me, da 1 I find da Hardest 2 xsplain is ALL will be Savwd!, bcoz all I get is well we may az well just live life 2 da fullest! if U no wot I mean, & not only d@, wen U say d@, I get da feeln Im scaring pple away frm GOD!.
      muchLOVE!! Pera

[GODSown1]

ohH! ThankS! Jason lol!, Yes! just HopE & Pray! it all becums klear! Very soon lol!
  GODBLESS! uz alL muchLOVE!! Pera

[Nancy]

Hi there Mrsnacks and all,

I was one of those people that put on a mask.   i used to come out of church crying on many an occassion because everyone seemed to be at peace, (whatever that was, i am a very naive person) but i was looking for something and i was trying to find it. i felt empty.  then 9 years ago, whilst i was attending a small brethren church, i had a breakdown as i was getting blasphemous thoughts and felt that i had committed the unpardonable sin. i remember one night, i phoned one of the members and said 'why is Judas going to hell'.  she thought i had lost my mind i think and i was always asking questions at bible study groups which were basically useless as i didn't learn anything and came home more than empty. i felt it was the blind leading the blind.
then i was diagnosed with OCD and after becoming a believer, i just stopped going to church and no-one questioned it!  no one person came to me to ask me why i didn't attend church anymore!  it's amazing now when i think about it.  i mentioned that i was going to a Quaker meeting and that was that, i guess.
i sometimes feel guilty that i haven't shared the truth with any of the members but i feel if God wants me to, He will give me the opportunity.
God bless
Nancy

[LittleBear]

Hi Nancy,

Yeah....the mask. It's really quite sad actually. Lonely people hiding behind their favorite, most comforting mask. Masses and masses of them in thousands of churches, trying to fit in.

Church was the only place where I would dress up and put on mascara. I hate mascara. Unless I'm going to something formal. But there I would be, every Sunday, taking an hour to get ready, and putting on....mascara. Then, because I was too lazy to take it off at night, I would wake up Monday morning with all this black stuff under my eyes. Hideous! But the mascara made me feel like I was fitting in. I HAD to do it! Totally, totally sad!

When I left the church, like you, no one called to find out about me. Also, don't feel guilty about not sharing. If God wanted you to, you would have found the strength and desire and the words to do so.

Much love to you.
Ursula

[mari_et_pere]

When I met my wife, I started going to her church with her. It's non-demoninational, so I figured I'd go along with it. That lasted for a while; probably about two years, then off and on for a couple. I can't do it anymore. It turns my stomach to hear about people getting saved. Saved? I can't stand it. It frustrates me that they don't know, they can't see the truth. The pastor all the way down, noone can see.
It really burns me up sometimes that my wife believes in what they say. It's sickening to me.

But I do really understand your weird feeling, guys. Just remember and rejoice in the fact that you have been chosen, BY GOD, to see the truth. Christ has showed you things that many don't ever think of. That is an awesome feeling!

Peace

Matt

[mrsnacks]

When I met my wife, I started going to her church with her. It's non-demoninational, so I figured I'd go along with it. That lasted for a while; probably about two years, then off and on for a couple. I can't do it anymore. It turns my stomach to hear about people getting saved. Saved? I can't stand it. It frustrates me that they don't know, they can't see the truth. The pastor all the way down, noone can see.
It really burns me up sometimes that my wife believes in what they say. It's sickening to me.

But I do really understand your weird feeling, guys. Just remember and rejoice in the fact that you have been chosen, BY GOD, to see the truth. Christ has showed you things that many don't ever think of. That is an awesome feeling!

Peace

Matt

--------------------------------------

I will pray for you and your wife. Don't be discouraged.

My wife was buying into the church thing as she was raised in the church since she was 6 years old. It has been a slow process but she has been coming around. At first when I would share what God was showing me which was against the doctrines taught in the church, she would give me a suspicious look. A look you could've poured on a waffle. So I backed off and never forced truth on her. It is God that opens the eyes and ears. So eventually in the process God started to show her and in her spirit she knew something wasn't right in the church. And now she has been called out of Babylon. She is coming out. And she has been listening to me. This has taken a long time. But it seems so much shorter. So hang in there. God is in control. Through this God has been teaching me not to be anxious but patient.

[mari_et_pere]

I've been trying real hard to think that way. Actually I've done a darn good job at it! We haven't had a "religious" conversation in a long time. God is indeed in control, and I'm pretty sure he'll prevail. 
I'm hoping in faith that she'll eventually be called out.

Peace.

Matt

[jER]

I also felt like "a stranger there."

- Jer

[gmik]

Matt, the LOVE you have for your wife will win her.  The way you have always talked about her here and on your myspace, well lets just say, she is one very blessed young woman!!!

To all the posters, yep, it is the same journey, more or less, we all have after having our "religion" turned upside down. That "what do I do now?" feeling. Lonely and depressed after being involved. Getting the boot when you have told the wrong person way too much.

I am passed most of that now.  Thanks to continuing in the Word, Ray's papers, and this forum.  What to do now is not my question.  What to be is.  Reading Paul tells us how a person should be living and loving God and his neighbor.  That is a full time "job"-walking in love.  Accepting His will in our lives. Letting him show us our "idols of the heart". Trusting Him for every little thing. It is very hard this "new" life.  More on the inside and not the big show "of the outward man".

Going thru the trials of life and the cleansing, purifying fire now is worth feeling a little weird.  If I am in the later resurrection it is still worth knowing the truth now.

[mari_et_pere]

Gena, thank you for your words! And something else you said hit me.

If I am in the later resurrection it is still worth knowing the truth now.

Amen to that! It is well worth knowing the truth. It is well worth knowing where we're going; knowing the ways of God, not to say we know all His ways but you get my drift; knowing the real Jesus of the scriptures and not the man made image; knowing what errors to stay away from. I love it.

Matt

[gmik]

Amen Matt.

I always wonder why a standard response is "Well, why don't we just go sin like crazy if everyone is going to be saved anyway?"

My take was OMG, now I want to follow Him more than ever!!

[GODSown1]

yep! Amen! & Amen! 2 alL d2s bein sed PRAISE! GOD! alwayZ!!.
       muchLOVE!! Pera

[hillsbororiver]

Hi mrsnacks & April,

It does sound like you both are sharing a "Gershom" type experience. 

I was a little surprised when no one asked "What the heck is a "Gershom" type experience?

Exo 2:22  And she bore him a son, and he called his name Gershom: for he said, I have been a stranger in a strange land.

H1648
גּרשׁום    גּרשׁון
gêreshôn  gêreshôm
gay-resh-one', gay-resh-ome'
From H1644; a refugee; Gereshon or Gereshom, an Israelite: - Gershon, Gershom.

His Peace to you,

Joe 

[jER]

That is strange - thought I had mentioned something about it.   

A Friend in Christ

- Jer

[hillsbororiver]

That is strange - thought I had mentioned something about it.   

A Friend in Christ

- Jer

LOL   

Sorry, must have missed it........ I'll go back 

Joe