Hate, anger, murder.
Friend Alex,
Your situation is not that unusual. As you have read, most of us have lived through similar events.
If I may, with sincere regard for your feelings, let me explore this condition a little.
As children of God, we are to obey the law of love. The problem that comes from knowing that is that we often expect others, our friends, our family to see the need to obey God's law also. They won't. They can't! God is working with you and me and not with the world at this time.
If you think back, wasn't your anger a result of your own selfish desire? Didn't you want those around you to give up their own desires to please you? "But I love her and we had a good relationship two years ago and she was happy with me", or so it seemed.
We all have to realize that true love cannot be demanded. If it isn't a gift, it's not real. There is no fifty fifty relationship. In a marriage, each individual needs to give their best no matter what the other person gives. Each person gives 100%, NO MATTER what the other gives in return. Our task as friends of God and examples to the world is to ALWAYS give our best, expecting NOTHING in return. NOTHING!!!
Lots of married men give their wives all they have to offer and get nothing in return. (I'll let the women explain their side of it themselves.) When I say they get nothing in return I mean no love, no affection, no respect and so forth. Yes, the wife may give grudgingly what she believes is her obligation, but that kind of giving "is as filthy rags", because it is not from the heart and the man knows that it is grudging.
God gives us many examples of obligation in the Old Covenant, but today with God's spirit working in us our giving and our love needs to be genuine and free of obligation.
One of the things you and I can do to avoid anger and hate is to seek the cause for it. It is good to control our passion so that it doesn't bubble over when FEEL that we are slighted by others, but it is much better and more loving to give up having our own way in our relationships with others. The term used for this attitude in the Bible in many instances is MEEKNESS. Not weakness, but humility with the approach of seeing others, all others, as BETTER than ourselves.
There are many examples of strong men, great leaders in the Bible who were meek and teachable, not thinking too highly of themselves. These are examples we can follow as we grow in grace and knowledge and become Christlike in our dealings with all people.
Alex, if my remarks seem a little tough it is not intended to offend, but I noted that many others wrote words of tender concern and I was just adding a little from my own history of selfish anger.
With Christian love, Bob