We all go through this, Alex. It is the only way God can bring us to the end of ourselves and make us realize we ar nothing without Him. I went through it and finally gave up trying to please God with my works. He showed me that everything I had done in the flesh was for myself.
I will ask God to bring you to the end of yourself so He can show you Himself.
The Bible talks a lot about suffering, fiery trials and you might want to look up some of those scriptures. It helps us understand how helpless we really are.
Once you reach a point where you know that God controls everything, you will find a lot of peace. you will know that it is all of God and you can do nothing without Him.
I will pray for your victory in Jesus over this. It is lonely and frustrating to go through. But we all must go through it to be what God wants us to be.
Thanks for this reply. So true. I have consistently prayed for the last several years for three things: God to reveal himself to me more fully, to be given more faith, and to Love God and others more.
The answer to these prayers has been to have my faith challenged more than I could of ever imagined, to have those who are easy to hate become more involved in my life; and for God to move what appears to be further from me.
I continue to struggle and get angry at myself, and at times at God. I get so tired of screwing up, and for lack of outward change. But slowly, God is revealing himself to me; and true change, inward to outward is occurring. What a process.
I will pray also for you Alex, for God to give you strength to endure his discipline and grace. I know your heart is good, and the shell has to be broken for the heart to be released. It is never easy.
God bless.