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What is God's thinking process like?
skydreamers:
Hi Denise,
Kat gave you some very wise counsel. I think what she has said is the key to how you deal with these situations. God gives us everything, knowing that we will not and cannot give him everything (without his help). Of course he fully understands our predicament and so he doesn't have the same kind of expectations as we humans have of each other. If God has given you a giving heart, than yours is a special gift. But as Kat has said, God's kind of giving doesn't come with strings. In this world, most of us "hold back" until we can be sure we are going to "get back" something of what we've given up. You sound like you give freely and naturally, but have trouble with the emotions that come when you don't "get back".
I use to counsel people with severe eating disorders and most if not all of them, had this character trait of giving freely to the point of complete self-denial. Not setting boundaries is, of course, only one of many problems that eating disorder sufferer have, but it is one of the MAIN ones. We are not God, and so while we might "want" to give to whoever needs, as humans with needs of our own, setting up boundaries is essential to preserving your own unique identity. This is going to be different for each person. I believe if you cry out to God as to where your personal boundaries need to be, he will be faithful in showing you. It is God, afterall, giving you the ability to be a natural giver and He would not ask you to do more than you can bear.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:7
None of us fits the above...only God. So don't be too hard on yourself in thinking you have to say yes to everyone. Saying no to someone is sometimes the very thing that person needs to grow. It is actually beneficial to some people to say no to them! Otherwise you enable them to continue manipulating you and acting out ungodly characteristics. God doesn't spoon feed us and coddle us like babies every step of the way....he disciplines, he challenges, he motivates us to seek HIM in all things...and often he does this by denying us the very things WE think we need. While you may not always know what is best for someone else, there are times you may be able to discern that giving in and giving up would not be the best thing to do.
It is more than possible to continue to be a cheerful giver, yet respect your own boundaries as well. Each situation is different, and each person you give to is different. But I believe if you keep all situations in prayer and follow the pulls of your heart and conscience, even if giving seems like the craziest thing to do at the time...you just never know how it might help that person somewhere down the line...and your reward is not here in this age, but in the age to come....this is why you can't focus on what you think you should "expect back" because you may not see it right now, in this life of the flesh. Keep your eyes fixed on what is spiritual and the blessings you will reap in the age to come and your heart will be at peace about it. God will see you through.
Much luv and respect to you,
Peace,
Diana
GODSown1:
Hey! Lacey,
Ive learnt ova da yearz, Wen I giv sumfing 2 sum1 az in money, food etc.. DONT! xspect it back, Hav Faith! ma dear sister, as it is written Vengence is mine, GOD b wit U sister.
muchLOVE!! Pera
Lacey23:
yeah.. you guys are right... I need to remind myself that my reward is in the next age, not in this age, and whats better about it??? its far greater and better than what this age can offer. I tend to feel down after i do alot of things for people and i didn't ask for much in return, just a little bit to feel appreciated.. its hard... i always liked to keep people happy and becuase of this... if they're not happy. it affects me too.. if i don't help them, i feel guilty, but really... either way... i get hurt... I know God is trying to teach me something..due to this cycle repeating itself over and over... I think he's trying to teach me to better deal with people in the next age... when they're going to be refined by God. During that next age, They'll probably tell me alot of things like, please let us through into the city... look at us.. we're unhappy... that alone would melt my heart and i would feel the great sense of urge to help them... but i need to let God teach me how to be firm and have God's Word speak for me when facing thru with this issue..I need to arm myself with scriptures when they attempt to take advantage of me. I want to at the same time comfort them and help them in the right way, rather than enabling their same old behavior by helping them when it can be hurting their spiritual growth.
What do you guys think??? could this be the reason????
Denise ( Lacey)
YellowStone:
Hi Lacy,
While I would never argue that the real reward will come in the next age, never discount the reward that giving unconditionally provides today.
Act 20:35 I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.
The act of giving with no thought of reward is giving of oneself unconditionally and there is in this my dear sister, reward enough in itself.
If we look at giving with thought of return, is one not selling and expecting compensation for services rendered? Please know that I am not judging you or putting you down, for this is a bitter pill for many to swallow and I have had the taste of it my mouth more than once.
Is there any wonder why:
Luke 6:34 And if ye lend [to them] of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
But giving with a jouyous heart and no thought of gain provides reward enough:
Luk 6:38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
I hope this helps a little,
Love in Christ,
Darren
Deborah-Leigh:
Hello Lacy
You say : but i need to let God teach me how to be firm and have God's Word speak for me when facing thru with this issue..I need to arm myself with scriptures when they attempt to take advantage of me.
Here is a link that perhaps will strengthen your integrity, wisdom and understanding that you do not have to be anyone's door mat! http://bible-truths.com/souls.htm and you can be more like Jesus who was no wimp either! :D ;D Another excellent one is the first teaching on the site...on how Jesus rebuked hypocrites and teachers of the law!
Peace to you
Arcturus :)
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