Hi Iris,
Much of the OT especially the experiences of the prophets is written as an example of the things his chosen/elect go through as they are being purged of the carnal becoming more spiritual, from unbelief, self pity, finding comfort in God, returning to our natural ways, falling away, being humbled and broken, the self realization that we are indeed helpless and dependent on Him and coming back to Him with a truly humbled and repenting spirit.
Psa 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
1Cor 10:11 Now all these things happened unto them for examples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. (KJV)
Jas 5:10 Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction and of patience.
Here is an example of the suffering and hopelessness that is a part of this process;
Job 7 (Amplified)
1IS THERE not an [appointed] warfare and hard labor to man upon earth? And are not his days like the days of a hireling?
2As a servant earnestly longs for the shade and the evening shadows, and as a hireling who looks for the reward of his work,
3So am I allotted months of futile [suffering], and [long] nights of misery are appointed to me.
4When I lie down I say, When shall I arise and the night be gone? And I am full of tossing to and fro till the dawning of the day.
5My flesh is clothed with worms and clods of dust; my skin is broken and has become loathsome, and it closes up and breaks out afresh.
6My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle, and are spent without hope.
7Oh, remember that my life is but wind (a puff, a breath, a sob); my eye shall see good no more.
8The eye of him who sees me shall see me no more; while your eyes are upon me, I shall be gone.
9As the cloud is consumed and vanishes away, so he who goes down to Sheol (the place of the dead) shall come up no more.
10He shall return no more to his house, neither shall his place know him any more.
11Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul [O Lord]!
12Am I the sea, or the sea monster, that You set a watch over me?
13When I say, My bed shall comfort me, my couch shall ease my complaint,
14Then You scare me with dreams and terrify me through visions,
15So that I would choose strangling and death rather than these my bones.
16I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone, for my days are a breath (futility).
17What is man that You should magnify him and think him important? And that You should set Your mind upon him?(A)
18And that You should visit him every morning and try him every moment?
19How long will Your [plaguing] glance not look away from me, nor You let me alone till I swallow my spittle?
20If I have sinned, what [harm] have I done You, O You Watcher and Keeper of men? Why have You set me as a mark for You, so that I am a burden to myself [and You]?
21And why do You not pardon my transgression and take away my iniquity? For now shall I lie down in the dust; and [even if] You will seek me diligently, [it will be too late, for] I shall not be.
Remember the story of the Prodigal son? That is a story about all of us.
His Peace to you Sister,
Joe