> General Discussions

Do You Forgive? Do you?

<< < (2/5) > >>

skydreamers:
Great thread!

Good point Darren.  To take it even further, I think it is near impossible as a human being to forget completely what someone has done to you.  God will one day remember our sins no more, I think when all is accomplished and He is all in all.  But in the meantime we learn from our own mistakes and those of others, and while we are mortal it is likely necessary that we remember some things.

There are definitely small things I have forgotten in my life which people have done.  I know because in some close and deep discussions with loved ones they've asked for forgiveness for something which I've clean forgotten about (again usually small things).

As a small child I was sexually abused by my biological father and even way before I became a Christian I wanted to be the better person and forgive him.  Instead I cut him off from my life, trying to forget about him entirely, acting as if he didn't exist.  Obviously that wasn't forgiveness. 

When I became a Christian I wanted to forgive the Godly way, but I still don't know to this day if I truly have.  I've put it behind me, I think that I don't hold it against him.  I certainly don't see myself as "better" than him, especially after learning all that I have in these last months.  (see Ray's talk on All being guilty of All). 

But here's the thing, we still do not communicate. Neither of us tries to.  He has never attempted an apology.  Now, if he were to show up on my doorstep begging for forgiveness, would I forgive and let him in?  Yes, I think I would.  Certainly.  Would I let him babysit my 3 year old daughter....NOT A CHANCE!!!!  NOT EVER!!!  See what I mean??  I can forgive, but I would think myself foolish to forget what this man was once capable of, and after all these years, what assurance do I have other than words that he's really changed?  I would never put my daughter in jeopardy. 

Now if he were to show up on my doorstep and act like nothing has ever happened and just want to be "dad" again (like he ever was), would I still let him in and silently forgive him??  Well certainly it seems that's what Jesus would do.  "Father forgive them for they know not what they do..."  This he prayed, before anyone even thought to repent....Oh to have the heart and mind of Jesus.  I pray I will someday. 

But the best I can do right now, is pray for my biological sperm donor...that's what I like to call him ;)...that he comes to a knowledge of Christ.  I know that God will chastise him in His own time and on His own terms.  I don't know if this is true forgiveness, but at least it's a step towards it??  (I hope).

Peace,
Diana

seminole:
Diana, brave of you to share that. My heart goes out to you. I have dealt with adults who were sexually abused and it can mess you up both physically and emotionally. Sounds to me like you have a good handle on the matter. Your main priority is protecting your children. God's got you in His hands, I know!

rick:
I think Diana is right. so many times in this life we dont get over things, we just get past them. Even if we say we have forgiven.  I do think when God judges us as we hang our heads in shame and then HE forgives us anyway. Then and only then will we realize true forgiveness and it will flow from us toward others ( even those people that we think we cant forgive in this life) Does any of this make sense????Do you think Eve was able to forgive Cain? I do because she knew first hand the forgivness of God as He slew the guiltless Lamb to clothe her nakedness.

jER:
Forgiveness for a wrong is from the heart, however, it does not mean - you put on blinders!

Not stepping into a potential minefield, is WISDOM!

My father always said:
Love all, trust few, harm no one - if given the choice; do what is right.


- jER

Sue Creamer:
I wanted to add a comment even though I know this was posted yesterday.  Some years ago after I had come out of the WWCG and God was starting to open my eyes and heart to his truth, I had an experience that I will never forget.  I had a boss who literally hated me and had also turned a coworker against me which as you can imagine made my life miserable.  It was so bad that when he gave me a review he made comments that were actually considered harassment (which I choose not to take to HR).  I cannot tell you how painful it was for me to go to work each day knowing I had to answer to this man and deal with a very vindictive coworker. 

I prayed and prayed to God for deliverance from this situation but God was silent.  Time passed and slowly God did open my heart and I began to see this man in a different light, he was God's child also and although I didn't know why he hated me I decided to pray FOR him and for God to help him.  I prayed for blessings in this man's life (what was he seeking) and I asked God to bless the coworker who was so miserable...I was somehow able to STOP thinking about "poor little ole" me and my focus turned to helping them. 

One day soon after God did bless this man with the very thing he truly wanted which was an early retirement package, and for the coworker he blessed with a promotion, which took her out of my department, and into a job she loved.  Even more amazing, on the day my boss retired he came to my office and apologized for his behavior.  The girl who left my department has since become a friend and emails every now and then to keep in touch.  So, by praying for them, God also removed my pain.  I have since put that knowledge to the test many times. 

Love is an outgoing thing..whether from thought or deed and God gives us the desire to do good.
Sue Ann

 

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page