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My wife wants to find a church

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keys2heaven:
My wife ran into a friend of ours tonight from the church we left. He told her that he missed us and wished we would come back. My wife told him that she didn't think we would be back. He said "Oh, I understand" and then went to to tell her how the services the past few months have been almost entirely focused on money. We haven't been there, but I do know that the topic of money (namely 'tithing') was seemingly coming to the forefront more than I cared to hear.

This friend went on to say how the pastoral staff keeps coming to the congregation for money to finish a new building that was started over a year ago. Mind you that when we were attending each time they asked for money for the building it was going to be the final amount. This happened at least twice that I know of and sound like it happened again. He went on to say that many were leaving because of the money issue and I know why. I can remember when I was there and singing with our praise team, hearing a comment from our associate pastor as he came before the congregation to receive the tithes and offerings. You see, I had just finished conversing with a couple of friends about the material I read here and how the tithe is unscriptural for new teatament Christians. Well, one of these friends that I was talking to is the son of the associate pastor. What made me uncomfortable is that as I was walking off the stage, I could have sworn that the associate pator gave me a sly (almost evil) smile and then spoke into the microphone and said "I want to talk to you about the SCRIPTURAL basis for tithing". WHAAAATTTT??!?!?!?!?! Did I hear what I just heard? This was at a time when I was struggling whether to leave or not. While I was thinking that my friend had obviously told his father what I said, I also felt a release because what he said in that moment 'sealed the deal' for me and I made up my mind to leave at that moment. It was then that all that I read here became soooo very clear. They ARE FLEECING THE FLOCK and THEY DON'T CARE.

Apparently, it seems that they are more concerned with a physical building than hurting people. This friend that was talking to my wife tonight made the comment about this saying that the church keeps coming to the congregation for money to finish this building but when somone in the church is in need they have no or little money to help them out. Are today's pastor's more concerned about leaving a legacy in some building that they help raise money for and that their name is attached to rather than helping the poor, weak, sick, homeless?

It makes me sick.

LittleBear:
Dear Mike,

Yes, this is the heart of Babylon. It's very hurtful and disillusioning to see this sort of thing. When you truly follow God, you don't want any part of their fleecing, contrary ways. God's word is free.

Love,

Ursula

mari_et_pere:
I'm in the same exact boat. My conclusion after much thought and meditation on it, is that it won't hurt me any to attend a non-denominational church where all the members love God and love to worship Him. They haven't seen the whole truth, maybe never will, but they're still very good people. They love my wife to death and it's killing her that I won't attend with her. I'm pretty sure I'm going to jump in and see how it goes. I'll try to keep my mouth shut but I don't know how to!

Matt

seminole:
best of wishes to you Matt! I struggled yesterday just to keep my mouth shut at a place I went to. I think I did okay but not great as I am "an easy read" in the face so there was people who knew something was wrong with me. Maybe, probably, you are stronger than me!
Nole

Ward:
Mike:
Wanted to make a few comments, if that's OK.  But because I can be a little long winded... I'll go to your last question first. 

'If she is insistent on going, should I go or not?' 

Answer: When you are at the point that the the answer is definitely NO, you won't be asking ANYBODY.


--- Quote from: keys2heaven on July 24, 2007, 11:45:17 AM ---Honestly, I don't want to attend a church. I mean I already feel uncomfortable now listening to some of what is being taught knowing full well that the person speaking is DEAD wrong. Telling people that they will go to hell for their sins and that we MUST tithe 10% of our incomes according to Malachi 3:10. I used to believe all of this.
--- End quote ---
Be forwarned... Sooner or later this will become too much for you to bare. 

--- Quote ---I guess one of my stupid fears is going to a church for awhile, then  having folks start asking us questions. What do you think would happen if I told them I didn't believe in tithing or that the Christian hell is a hoax? I'm sure someone would scream that there is a wolf amongst the flock trying to divide them. I sure don't need that on my conscious.
--- End quote ---
This bit brought this to mind.  Aren't we told in the scriptures that we will experience persecution?  I didn't get the impression that had to be scourging or being crucified. 

--- Quote ---Maybe I'm already anxious about the usher who looks at us with contempt as we pass the plate along. Mind you I have no objection with giving, but I really despise the practice of giving money in a public forum. You can't change how people think and I have known a few in those positions (ushers) who DO think the way I described. Human nature.
--- End quote ---
Maybe... Just maybe... One of the other people that attends will notice you skipping the offering plate.  And instead of thinking less of you, they may just ask you about it.

--- Quote ---I don't believe that you have to attend a church. I truly think that this is more about having a social life and friends than hearing God. My wife has commented many times since we stopped attending our former that not one person has called us.
--- End quote ---
That happened to me, too. Never heard a word.  And I know they still attempt to contact my Mom that attended with me.  I believe my comments & questions during Wednesday Night Bible Study had marked me a heretic, so... Now that I'm not there, Bible Study I mean, I hope that somebody else picked up the baton.  It seemed like I was the only one that ever studied before hand and was able to answer the questions our pastor asked.  Maybe it was really just a social event and I wasn't able to notice.  I bet the group gets thru the passages alot faster now that its probably become just a speech from the pastor.  I'm sure that there isn't any chewing of 'meat' going on.

--- Quote ---However, if you made comments that were construed as being objectionable, then you got the cold shoulder. That is what happened when I tried to discuss the issue of tithing (or Christian giving) with some "friends". Never heard another word from them. Does it hurt, yes. I wish it weren't so.
--- End quote ---
It hurt me too.  Actually, it still hurts and that was a few years ago.  I recently shared this with what I consider my last two friends and I think that they may be gone now, too.  Silence...

--- Quote ---I want to honor God and live a life that I can be proud of. I don't want to upset my wife. If she is insistent on going, should I go or not?
--- End quote ---
Now this one is something that my sister and I have been speaking about recently. (She is a member here, too.  Right now her PC is having problems, so she's not visiting the board.)  I know this isn't PC, but...  My sister and I have noticed that in our respective marriages, we had/have not been taking the roles that we are given in the scriptures.  We are trying to change that.  When she told me that she recognized that she was playing the role her husband was to have, you could knocked me over with a feather. 

Well, those were my 'ramblings' on this. 
\/\/ard

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