bible-truths.com/forums

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Forum related how to's?  Post your questions to the membership.


.

Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: sensible observations  (Read 2032 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

rick

  • Guest
sensible observations
« on: August 13, 2007, 06:51:39 PM »

Sensible Observations





1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died

peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."

--Author Unknown

 

2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you

get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:

"Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."

--Author Unknown

 

3) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?

There's a support group for that.

It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

--Drew Carey

 

4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's

not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into

doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night,

drop them off at the wrong house."

--Jeff Foxworthy

 

5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball

and saving an infant's life, s he will choose to save the

infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base."

--Dave Barry

 

6) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and

we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend

wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice.

There should be severance pay and the day before they leave

you, they should have to find you a temp."

--Bob Ettinger

 

7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took

her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said,

'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"

--Paula Poundstone

 

8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have

better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the

authors of that study: "Duh."

--Conan O'Brien

 

9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm

halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh, my God....

I could be eating a slow learner." --Lynda Montgomery

 

10) "I think I know how Chicago got started. Bunch of

people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime

and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough.

Let's go west.'"

--Richard Jeni

 

11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the

impersonators would be dead."

 

12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."

--Paul Rodriguez

 

13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida,

but they turned sixty and that's the law."

--Jerry Seinfeld

 

14) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in

case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line

from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that?

What, do tall people burn slower?"

--Warren Hutcherson

 

15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many.

Monogamy is the same."

--Oscar Wilde

 

16) "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a

member of Congress.. But I repeat myself."

--Mark Twain

 

17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student.

At least they can find Afghanistan "

--A. Whitney Brown

 

18) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog,

and the dog will give you a look that says,

'My God, you're right!  I never would've thought of that!'"

--Dave Barry

 

19) Why is it called "rush hour" when the traffic never moves?

 

20) "Everybody's got to believe in something.

I believe I'll have another beer."

- W. C. Fields

Logged

dawnnnny

  • Guest
Re: sensible observations
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2007, 07:16:16 PM »


18) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog,

and the dog will give you a look that says,

'My God, you're right!  I never would've thought of that!'"



This one gave me the thought that too bad the people we try to share the truth with aren't more like dogs eh?  LOL

I enjoyed these sayings, thanks!
Logged

rick

  • Guest
Re: sensible observations
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2007, 07:51:39 PM »

I guess our pets trust us to always tell the truth and people would rather believe a lie. what I have encountered is that most really do want some to be eternally punished as if they deserve it. I believed that way for a long time until God opened my eyes. But I have said before that knowing the truth is sometimes a lonely road and sharing the truth will often lead to ridicule. my father-in-law recently accused me of being in a cult and he did not like me dragging his daughter down to hell with me. oh, what a tangled web some weave..................rick
Logged

DuluthGA

  • Guest
Re: sensible observations
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2007, 07:51:58 PM »

HA!
Logged

dawnnnny

  • Guest
Re: sensible observations
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2007, 08:29:17 PM »

Ran across this quote:   

"...if you believe in it, it is a religion or perhaps 'the' religion;
and if you do not care one way or another about it, it is a sect;
but if you fear and hate it, it is a cult." Leo Pfeffer.

and...


"A cult is a church down the street from your church." Anonymous

and finally, from Webster's

CULT
Pronunciation: 'k&lt
Function: noun
Usage: often attributive
Etymology: French & Latin; French culte, from Latin cultus care, adoration, from colere to cultivate -- more at WHEEL
1 : formal religious veneration : WORSHIP
2 : a system of religious beliefs and ritual; also : its body of adherents
3 : a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious; also : its body of adherents
4 : a system for the cure of disease based on dogma set forth by its promulgator <health cults>
5 a : great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work (as a film or book); especially : such devotion regarded as a literary or intellectual fad b : the object of such devotion c : a usually small group of people characterized by such devotion

I don't know, I can see myself belonging to a cult if its JESUS that is worshiped and given great devotion and you have to admit, we are a "small group of people characterized by such devotion"  *wink*

I always thought of cults as "brain-washers" but even when you think about it, I guess by God's grace we have had and are having our brains washed, are we not?  Just a thought...   ;D
Logged

rick

  • Guest
Re: sensible observations
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2007, 09:10:49 PM »

never looked at it from that angle but I agree with you 100%. thanks dawn for the wonderful insight. and God bless..........rick
Logged

Sue Creamer

  • Guest
Re: sensible observations
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2007, 08:48:19 AM »

Hi Rick,

You do come up with some good ones...!!!   Thanks for the big smile on my face this morning.  Have a lovely day....
Sue Ann
Logged

LittleBear

  • Guest
Re: sensible observations
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2007, 10:20:48 PM »

Rick,

These are really FUNNY!!!

Ursula
Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
 

Page created in 0.063 seconds with 24 queries.